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What a shame

(57 Posts)
AussieGran59 Sat 10-Sept-22 03:34:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ExDancer Sat 10-Sept-22 10:31:11

I have 'mobility' problems and have been prescribed morphine for the pain (which isn't just in my legs) so I cannot drink alcohol. We don't know what she was taking to alleviate her mobility problems.

Lathyrus Sat 10-Sept-22 11:16:16

Yes, at 90 or 96 I think you might as well do what you want.

But it’s still the doctors responsibilty to tell you it’s bad for your health. That’s their job. Just like drug manufacturers have to tell you all the side effects of a drug.

Doctors can’t decide oh that will injure their health but I won’t tell them because they’re old and they’re going to die soon anyway. They have to give the appropriate medical advice. They could be sued if they made that moral judgement and the patient died as a result.

So if the doctors advised against alcohol they had a medical reason for doing so. It’s a very dangerous path to suggest that they should withhold that information because they take a wider view.

There have been doctors who took that view to extremes.

Mine Sat 10-Sept-22 12:51:13

I'm afraid if I reach my 80s and want a small tiple at night that's exactly what I will have...I'm kind of getting that way just now and I'm only 64....grin

Cabbie21 Sat 10-Sept-22 13:03:24

I have read, for what it’s worth, that HMQ had gout. So alcohol would be likely to make matters worse.
Otherwise, an evening tipple might help her sleep.

Elizabeth27 Sat 10-Sept-22 13:05:53

I have an aunt,88, who last saw a doctor when she was 60 when he told her to stop smoking.

She still smokes 10 cigarettes a day and has two glasses of wine every evening.

She is active and appears healthy, maybe it will shorten her life but at 88 I feel it is her choice, not that I would feel it is my place to tell her what to do anyway.

Witzend Sat 10-Sept-22 13:16:30

To me it rather depends on what anyone considers a person’s ‘best interests’. Some may think they consist of enabling that person to live as long as possible. Others may think that ‘as long as possible’ won’t be much fun if all little treats such as chocolate or a G&T are not allowed.

I’m reminded of the Duke of Omnium in Trollope’s Palliser series. Evidently on his last legs, or very near, and no longer allowed his glass of curaçao, he had a toddler-like tantrum and screeched , ‘I am the Duke of Omnium and Gatherum and I want a glass of curacao!!! ?

Lathyrus Sat 10-Sept-22 13:58:38

I think there’s two issues here.

One is whether people have the right to lead make their own decisions even if it’s detrimental to them in some way. Yes!

But it’s being muddled with whether doctors have the right to make those decisions for them eg by deciding not to tell them a medical fact about their condition. Thereby depriving the patient of choice. No!

Do people really believe that doctors should be responsible for deciding who gets good medical advice and who doesn’t? Especially based on a non-medical judgement about age ?

Callistemon21 Sat 10-Sept-22 14:41:00

BlueBelle

Good grief when I get in my 90 s I m going to drink smoke a spliff and have wild sex

Do we know she took any notice of the advise at all, do we know she didn’t think ‘Damn doctors i ll have me little tipple when I want it’ ???

You might only live until you're 96 if you indulge like that, Bluebelle ?

If you abstain you might live until 100+ (and be miserable).

Witzend Sat 10-Sept-22 14:58:38

When she was over 90, with pretty well advanced dementia, my mother was told by one of the care home staff that she ‘ought’ to be choosing the brown bread sandwiches (little triangular ones brought round at teatime) instead of the white, because they were healthier.

For once I didn’t button my lip - I said for heaven’s sake, at her age she can eat whatever she likes.
Who on earth wants a dementia-ridden life of already 90 odd to be prolonged by ‘healthy’ eating anyway?

Might add that that particular member of staff was the only one in nearly 8 years who I didn’t take to. IMO she was in the wrong job.

Callistemon21 Sat 10-Sept-22 15:05:52

An aunt wasn't allowed salt on her meals in hospital (it was banned by the Consultant) so she couldn't eat any dinner.
She was 99. Sister in charge said she'd make sure she would have a sprinkle of salt on her dinner if I fetched some packets from the café.

NotAGran55 Sat 10-Sept-22 15:07:53

Perhaps the Queen had been prescribed medication that wasn’t compatible with alcohol.

Wheniwasyourage Sat 10-Sept-22 15:11:44

When I worked in what was then called a Geriatric department in the 70s quite a few of the patients had a small sherry prescribed for them in the evening drug round. I have known doctors who would be constantly pestering 20- and 30-year-olds to stop smoking or to cut down their drinking, but leaving anyone who had got to 80 or 90 to get on with it. Seems sensible to me.

AGAA4 Sat 10-Sept-22 15:16:44

My DHs grandma aged 88 persuaded the doctor that a tiny drop of whisky in her tea at bedtime was fine.
Problem was she had very shaky hands and I saw her pour in much more than a tiny drop. She wondered why she woke up at 5am in her chair and hadn't made it to bed.

SueDonim Sat 10-Sept-22 16:31:41

Queen Margrethe of Denmark is now Europe’s longest resigning monarch. At the age of 82 she is apparently an inveterate chain smoker. I am sure she knows smoking is bad for you but she continues anyway!

It’s her own Golden Jubilee this year but she’s postponed/cancelled this weekend’s celebrations out of respect for the queen, her third cousin.

GrannySomerset Sat 10-Sept-22 16:52:47

My late MiL’s doctor recommended a lunch time sherry for them both once they got to 80. It made buying them presents easy, and quite often when he called in to see how they were (those were the days!) he had one too. Their sherry glasses were minute and we use them as liqueur glasses.

mumofmadboys Sat 10-Sept-22 17:25:50

It is unusual for doctors to be too dogmatic in their advice to elderly patients. Quality of life is what matters and doctors are usually practical people and realists.

LauraNorderr Sat 10-Sept-22 17:59:14

BlueBelle

Good grief when I get in my 90 s I m going to drink smoke a spliff and have wild sex

Do we know she took any notice of the advise at all, do we know she didn’t think ‘Damn doctors i ll have me little tipple when I want it’ ???

Blimey Bluebelle, have you got a willing hunk locked in a cupboard, with the spliff, the alcohol and perhaps a little blue pill.
Can’t wait to read your posts when you come of age.

Esmay Sat 10-Sept-22 18:12:37

I agree it is a shame that Her Majesty could no longer enjoy
a drink .
Perhaps it was due to her medication .

I also think that she deserved a rest to enjoy her dogs and horses .
But it must have been her choice - duty to the very end .

annodomini Sat 10-Sept-22 19:01:47

The OP says "the Queen was advised by her doctor to give up her evening drink". For one thing, how do we learn of this piece of advice? And, for another thing, do we think she actually took it?
Talk about useless speculation!

Limcha Sat 10-Sept-22 19:30:35

To me it would seem common sense to assume her doctor knew a bit more about her clinical status than the general public. I’m guessing he understood her medical situation was such that alcohol would help her deteriorate much faster. Unless anyone has first hand knowledge of her medical records, it seems silly at best to assume the doctors advice shouldn’t have been followed.

Barmeyoldbat Sat 10-Sept-22 19:34:03

My Dr told me after my last lot of blood tests that I could be diabetic in 10 to 15 years. I am 75.

Aldom Sat 10-Sept-22 19:40:14

mumofmadboys

It is unusual for doctors to be too dogmatic in their advice to elderly patients. Quality of life is what matters and doctors are usually practical people and realists.

Well said mumofmadboys.
Your wise posts are much appreciated.

Callistemon21 Sat 10-Sept-22 20:09:42

Barmeyoldbat

My Dr told me after my last lot of blood tests that I could be diabetic in 10 to 15 years. I am 75.

Oh dear, better watch your diet, BOB!

How old is old these days?
Asking for myself, not a friend.

Fleurpepper Sat 10-Sept-22 20:27:14

Barmeyoldbat

My Dr told me after my last lot of blood tests that I could be diabetic in 10 to 15 years. I am 75.

Doctor's duty to warn you- up to you to do something about it or not.

However, and here is the crux- being diabetic can make all the difference between a 'good' death or a 'bad' one. So I'd want to know.

Barmeyoldbat Sat 10-Sept-22 20:29:15

Well I did say I would carryon having cake with my coffee when I was out cycling but I would have skimmed milk instead of semi skimmed in my coffee. I think you are as old as you feel in answer to your question