Struggling with friendships.

I can really sympathise with your dilemma. I have had a similar problem once I retired. It has taken me years to learn that I can gently say no. But it has left me isolated. CC is disabled so I already have a lot of caring to do. I have some good online friendships and book club is good too. I have found a walking club for those who are more able. The rule is no talking about illness! Can you start one up yourself. Volunteers for nature monitoring usually attracts younger and younger/older men and women. My SIL does a dormouse monitoring route. And groups often go out together. Hope this helps.

It is not so much about what people wear but about how they 'are'.
Being hyper-sensitive in case someone asks you to step out of your comfort zone and 'put something back', will not endear you to new groups.
Try to be open-minded. Do you imagine that 20 years down the line you will be less intelligent and less interesting? No of course you won't. People will forget what you say to them but they will always remember how you made them feel.
Maybe try embracing life with enthusiasm. Make fun of yourself or share funny anecdotes where you have messed up. Age brings perspective and most things are not nearly as important as they first seem. You have been given lots of great suggestions for groups to join. Try them all. You can leave the ones that don't work for you. The fear and uncertainty , the apprehension that makes you react with negative judgement will leave you if you just be yourself and accept others as the new interesting people you are getting to know. You may not like them all but you may find the hidden treasure of wonderful new friends. Good luck, I feel sure it will all work out well for you.

I had to retire early in my late fifties due to health problems. I’ve made new friends through aqua, they are older than me but we have fun , socialising . Keep trying something new and I’m sure you’ll find some nice new friends

Hi Msdaisy
I too have the same problem . I joined silver ladies chatter on Facebook . It is a group of ladies from about 55 to 70 from all around the uk . They start by chatting on Facebook & you say where you are from & others will let you know if they are near you . They arrange meet ups for coffee or sightseeing or even overnights . Every one is lovely .
I joined a book club for the first time last month . It is held in a pub once a month . There are about 20 in the group. We chatted about the book & every thing else & have a drink or a coffee . I was out last Saturday shopping & a woman came up to me & said “ your in my book club “ we had a chat & I felt happy knowing that’s someone else I can acknowledge at the book club next week.
Does your gym have a coffee shop , grab a coffee after a class , people soon start chatting to you if you are on your own .

Yes if you join a gym you need the right sort of gym, things like the cafe, the Jacuzzi, and nice changing rooms where people naturally just start up natters.

Needs to be the right sort of gym, and IME the sort that has a wide variety of classes NOT just weights and rooms of treadmills and cycles.

As regards age range, it depends what time you go. In the day its often retired and mums, but many early retired. Lots of chats when you want then as if you keep going same times of day you bump into the same people.
Then in the early evening there is a busy after work rush, where its not quite so sociable, then later its those who WANT to hang out and meet and chat.

Weekends around 11.30 to 2.30 are the nicest of all - people of ALL ages come to exercise and relax

If your 'area' has a forum, have a look as they sometimes have several sub-groups for various things such as "selling and buying", "hobbies & interests", "fishing", "local history", also finiding a plumber, carpenter, electricians, that sort of thing. You might find something of interest in the hobbies or local history groups. Just do a search for your area and "forum".