Talking about Grief..

I think people need to discuss death and I don't think language should be criticised when it is accessible to those who want or need to talk about it.

I unfortunately had very early loss in my life and people just did not talk about it and it has affected me until the present day. I think the death of someone close to you can cause such isolation that really isn;t necessary, so whatever language is used isn't the most important part of communication, if you know what I mean. You may not and if you don't, that's fine too

I always thought the Salvation Army 'promoted to glory' sounded wonderful. If you're going to use a euphemism then really go for it.

Live and let live may not be quite an appropriate phrase on this thread but……you catch my drift.

Whatever terminology one decides to use when describing the death of someone should not be under scrutiny. If someone is more comfortable using the term passed rather than died that is their personal choice and should be respected I would think. Grief is a heartbreaking experience for all without nit picking at one’s choice of expression.

Lucca. I don’t get ‘worked up ‘ about it. I just don’t like it and say so.

Lucca
I’m not worked up over the word passed at all, I just don’t like it. That’s very different from being worked up. I don’t like the word passed because it’s a euphemism for died. I’m not afraid to say died because that is exactly what has happened. People can’t pass anything except in the hearse, they die. I didn’t realise it was an Americanism, I’ve just noticed it being used with increasing frequency lately.
I also understand that Bea and others say passed because they believe that the soul has left the body and gone to heaven. But most don’t, they just say it because it’s the latest euphemism for died.

MrsKen33

*Lucca*. I don’t get ‘worked up ‘ about it. I just don’t like it and say so.

Exactly.

JaneJudge
People are allowed to say they don’t like something without being told it’s criticising. It’s not, it’s stating an opinion and that is perfectly acceptable.

maddyone

JaneJudge
People are allowed to say they don’t like something without being told it’s criticising. It’s not, it’s stating an opinion and that is perfectly acceptable.

that is fair enough x

It's not an Americanism nor a euphemism, it's a perfectly acceptable and correct grammatical term for passing from one state - Life - to another -Death and it's been in use, in English, since the 1400s.

In any case, if it gives comfort to those of us who are heartbroken and bereaved why does it matter?

I’d loved to be off tomorrow but National Guidelines say we have to start Covid/Flu Vaccine for our Staff at my Hospital. So I’ll be vaccinating watching on a Computer!

And agree- perfectly acceptable to say- passed

Thank you Jane

I once had a client with a learning disability who was told that his mother had passed. He did not understand what it meant and distressed the family with his questions as to where she had passed to and when she'd be back. Sometimes clarity is the key!

MrsKen33

*Lucca*. I don’t get ‘worked up ‘ about it. I just don’t like it and say so.

You said you hated it….

maddyone

Why do people say that people have ‘passed’ now? They haven’t passed, they’ve died! My mother died three weeks ago. She didn’t pass, she died. Are people so afraid to speak of death? Death is what it is.

I always say died....pass ...I mean what does that even mean ?

To be tediously pedantic - pass from the state of Life to Death. Not euphemistic, not ambiguous in meaning just another term for changing state by leaving this life.

Passed from this world into whatever is next.

An argument even about grieving

A new term for died that I’ve seen used in America is ‘transitioned’. Given today’s higher profile of transgender people, it seems a confusing term to use about death.

If you die, you are dead. End of. I find all all these euphemisms, uncomfortable and unpleasant, likewise the euphemisms for other bodily functions that arise from the 'do not like to mention in polite company' way of talking..

I find saying my daughter is dead unpleasant sometimes, so I say passed away.

Saying passed is not a euphemism. That's not a matter of opinion but grammatical fact. Each to their own. If a person suffers tremendous loss semantics do not/should not come into it. Anniebach and MissAdventure for the grievous losses of your daughters maddyone for the loss of your mum for all the bereaved on this thread. It doesn't bloody matter how it's expressed as long as such sorrow is acknowledged IMHO

Huw Edwards has just referred to the death of the Queen ,
‘Passed away*

MissAdventure dead sounds cold when speaking of our
child x

I think everyone has their own views, and I share Annie's views. My parents, my much loved sister have died and their ashes are interred in a grave. For me they have not passed, passed away or any other word that avoids the facts of what has happened to them. I never heard my parents refer to their deceased daughter as other than having died.

We have always said “passed away”