What was your experience of childbirth ?

The first was a shock. I had been to antenatal classes and thought it was all a matter of breathing right and relaxing. I dont remember any mention of how that was to be achieved when in raging agony. I ended up with Pethidine and then an epidural. The epidural was fantastic and I had a normal birth after 13 hours. When I went into labour with the second I was shaking from head to foot in anticipation throughout a long, slow ambulance ride through the snow. The paramedic kept asking if I was cold and I kept reassuring him I was just terrified. DD was born after only 4 hours and with just a bit of gas and air. For some reason however I still have nightmares about the second. I was groaning, fairly quietly, and a nurse said "You are not very good at this are you?". I can still hear her voice now. I wonder if anyone has told them that things that happen in childbirth can be imprinted on your memory forever. I actually thought I was doing rather well at the time!

Sounds like what I experienced when I had my first child with no doctor around just a nurse and was also kept in for a week.

That is nothing compared to what my mother informed me happened at my birth in a village in Scotland.
My mother was in labour for 30hrs as she didn’t know I was a breach babe.
As I had a nanny my mother went off with a young GP during his rounds. When my mother was in labour the local doctor could not be found. Apparently, every time there was a birth in the village he would disappear!
Another GP was found in the. next village who I was informed that he told mum she should have been in a hospital and I was informed he was young and to her, good looking!
Despite this I arrived and but my parents decided to have the local. GP up for not being around. However, the GP replied mentioning that, if they had him up he would have my mother up for fleeting with the young GP So nothing more was said!

Oops! Wrong spelling, I meant flirting with the GP

I am still surprised I went on to have 3 healthy children after my first baby. Was 1965 and I was left in labour for over 30 hours being occasionally checked by a probationer nurse. When the doctor eventually came to check me nurse said she could hear baby’s hearth beating steadily, I remember the doctor saying she was a fool she had been listening to my pulse beat. A rush to delivery room and my son was delivered having died a few hours earlier. They put me in a room overnight but it was next to the nursery so I could hear the babes crying. To this day I don’t know how I got over the next year. The pregnancy for my next baby who was born 18 months later was one long worry and the relief of a healthy live baby was marvellous. Two other healthy pregnancies followed, but to this day I am extremely bitter about it and know that we should have carried it further. However I have 3 lovely children and 6 grandchildren and I thank God for them.

millymouge, that is so awful for you and your family. My DIL had a still birth which should have been prevented and chose not to pursue a legal action but with some of the hospitals now being highlighted for babies dying, I can't help wondering whether she should have. As someone who lost her baby daughter, I understand how you never really get over it. Big virtual hugs to you.

After reading some of the traumatic experiences here I was indeed very very lucky with my three children born late 70's to mid 80's.

Baby 1 - Born at local hospital maternity unit after 8 hour labour. Text book delivery, gas and air and no stitches. No problems.

Baby 2 - Born at same maternity unit, 7 hour labour, just a few stitches (he was a bigger baby). No problems.

Baby 2 - Born at GP maternity unit after 10+ hours labour. I went into labour at home at lunchtime but said nothing to my mother, who was staying with us to look after the older two, as I knew she'd start fussing and watching me like a hawk. She had been a midwife herself and always thought she knew better. When DH got home from work at 10pm I gave him his dinner and half an hour to relax then quietly fetched my hospital bag and said we had to go. The hospital was 20 minutes away, baby began to arrive in the lift and I barely made it to the bed before he popped out. A few stitches needed but no other problems.

I had the same midwife for all three births. She was a lovely lady and I was very well cared for throughout my pregnancies, births and afterwards. My GP arrived within an hour each time stitches were needed, and was clearly an experienced 'needlewoman' as I didn't suffer any of the discomfort that some other Mums did.

I would have happily had three more kids if we could have afforded them. As one of our neighbours said to me 'having babies was like falling off a log for me'!!

But I have every sympathy and respect for anyone who was not so lucky.

That should read "Baby 3 born at maternity unit etc etc....

Can we have an edit button please.

1st birth after 36 hours labour in hospital. Horrendous and the episiotomy, I can't think about, couldn't sit down for weeks. 2nd birth was shipped into hospital 7 weeks before date when twins discovered. I was in a poor state having been sick again the whole time. Went into labour 5 days before due date everyone panicking saying birth would be almost instant. Wrong, 9 hours later cause of my constant complaining about severe backache was discovered and two Drs called to attend. lst twin was brow presentation 2nd breach. Even with 6 week stay no one paid any attention to my complaints. Fortunately both twins arrived healthy but I was a wreck being placed in oxygen tent. Lungs had room to expand more with pressure from babies being removed but I found it painful to breath properly for a couple of days. At least episiotomy wasn't anything like the first one, think they used a running stitch! Never to be repeated.

My first was born in 1991 and l fitted just after he was born - l had eclampsia but no pre-eclampsia and my husband was literally left holding a ten minute old baby. I was told that any subsequent births would have to be in hospital. Number two was born in 1993 and was spine to spine, which meant l had pain both back and front as he turned round. The epidural was such a relief. The anaesthetist was pregnant at the time and said that she would be having an epidural herself. This baby had swallowed some mucus, which had to be suctioned out. The third one was also spine to spine and again the epidural took effect. My pregnancies were quite easy but l didn’t give birth easily. Three were enough.

My first was an emergency admission after my gp finally took notice of my swollen ankles and raised blood pressure, and took a urine sample - only time they had ever seen me and initially they were convinced I was whinging on and attention seeking because I was an older first time mum at 41 and as I had 'consultant led care' didn't qualify for a local midwife nearer to home. Suddenly they went from patronizing to trying to call an ambulance but I decided to go home to pack and get a lift.

It was about a month early so they insisted on an immediate induction because of pre eclampsia. The medic wanted to set up an epidural which I refused. I felt fine and quite enjoyed the labour with a little pethadine and all went fine to be honest. I had a 5lb 5oz baby who was very content to latch on and enjoy himself. I couldn't sit down for a week but no other issues despite a chronic rheumatological problem.

With the second one, at 45, everyone went into overdrive throughout the pregnancy, including the rheumatologist. This one was also induced early 'just in case' by my lovely maternity consultant. However the doctor in charge of the actual delivery was very irritated when I refused the epidural again and actually said 'don't come running back to me when you're screaming in pain'.

Another relatively simple birth, I knew just what to expect from an induction so it wasn't a surprise. I went home same day - discharged myself as the food was rubbish and I felt fine.

Must say the midwives were all lovely but very busy and left us alone most of the time, which was fine by me as they were there whenever I needed them. All I wanted to drink was ice cold tonic water with lemon and they kept looking for the gin, which I wish I'd thought to bring with me.

Think things have got worse with maternity services since then.

Both babies are now grown men and doing well!

Isn’t there a running theme throughout these posts? Insensitive staff, too busy to help, incompetent episiotomies, left to our own devices etc etc.

I had two dreadful births, first one left on my own, glasses taken away, I was on a high bed and told to ring the buzzer as the staff all went for supper downstairs out of hearing. I couldn’t see any buzzer, I was practically blind!

Second one, the nice midwife ended her shift so I got the dragon sister who was like Attila the Hun, no compassion, just horrible, kept telling me I wasn’t having a contraction then so surprised when it happened so tore to bits again! I hated it all, feel so jealous of girls nowadays with all the information, husband and staff present, all very subdued lighting, music and choices! Choices huh!

My first was born in 1977. After many hours of labour she was not moving down. I was taken to Xray....no scans then of course. It was discovered that pelvic bones too close together to let her through so I had a cesarean with an epidural...the first the hospital had done. My other two were born by cesarean as well of course... Both my daughters inherited the same problem so my six grandchildren were all born by cesarean.

sodapop

Same here NotTooOld the dreaded episiotomy and a 10 day stay in the nursing home. There were builders working there when I was in and as I staggered down to the lavatory one of them shouted " where's your horse missus" charming.
Babies were not supposed to be taken out until they were two weeks old at that time. I remember proudly taking my new daughter out in her smart Silver Cross pram and didn't meet a single person I knew, disappointed.

I'm so sorry, but that has made me roar.. I'm in tears too...

My first baby was born in our local hospital, 10 minutes from home. I went in at 2pm and by 4.30pm was a mother. My husband had gone to play football despite my having pains which neither us thought were contractions - how naive were we? I stayed in for the usual 7 days.
Second child same hospital, went into at 9.30pm had him at 11.30pm went home at 0900 next day. Felt like I was on a conveyor belt to be honest.
Third baby same hospital, different husband, went in at 9.30 pm baby born at 1140pm New Years Eve. Same treatment, the Matron even remembered my horrific bruising post first episiotomy. Truth be told I had amazing quick and easy births, painful of course but nothing to complain about.

I'm fortunate that I'm healthy and had no problems during pregnancy or delivery, so my own experience has varied with the competance and confidence of my midwives.
My third child was delivered at home by a community midwife who clearly didn't like home deliveries and didn't feel confident managing one - that wasn't an easy experience as she clearly wanted me to agree to go to hospital though there was absolutely no reason to do so.
My second child was also delivered at home by a lovely and very competent woman who was the epitome of what a midwife should be. The result was that I was relaxed and had a lovely delivery (by her student) in less than three hours.

I attended NCT classes and was very glad I did. We were told by the teacher ( a retired much older midwife) that sometimes a rare procedure could be carried out if the baby was stuck. You guessed it...my first baby was stuck. All the pain was the same from the start. Awful. Even I knew there was something wrong but no one listened to me. Baby was breech until 36 weeks.

Then on the change of shift an older midwife appeared and I can remember asking her if we were ever going to put a baby in that cot ? Then she put my husband out of the room, put on long gloves and turned my baby from my rectum, just like James Herriot dealing with a cow in trouble. An invigorating experience I can tell you, but then the labour felt normal. The bruising was both internal and external and I walked like a gunslinger for weeks. My husband wanted a boy and I think our marriage started to fall apart at that point. We went on to have another daughter and he left the premises when she was just 6 months old.
I have never met any other mother who had their baby turned in that way.

All I remember as a terrified first time mother was being told by the student midwife “ I wouldn’t be in your shoes for anything”…how very reassuring- I hope she chose a different specialism!

First one (in the nineties) was an undiagnosed breech, not spotted until I was about ten hours into labour and nothing much progressing except the pain! Inexperienced midwife (no experience of breeches), luckily nurse in charge knew her stuff. Pain relief ineffective so given an epidural which didn’t work because of trapped nerve or something so toughed it out. My daughter was a forceps delivery by an obstetrician and was so beautiful I forgot the pain although I kept being reminded by the horrendous stitches which became infected and took ages to heal. I was quite ill afterwards, I believe, as I had lost a lot of blood. Nearly two weeks in hospital, but I was so blissfully happy! The other two births had their small dramas and both involved over a week in hospital but all were such joyful times. The best.

Mine was too! I try not to think about it.

My first in the late eighties was very traumatic. I needed an elective C section, the epidural didn’t work properly. The anaesthetist was teaching a junior Dr to do it. I kept telling them I could still feel the pin prick test on my stomach but they just wheeled me in. As soon as the surgeon started I was in so much pain.. he looked horrified at the anaesthetist who then offered to put me to sleep. Naively I thought I was being a big baby and desperately wanted to be awake when my boy was born so I refused, nobody actually said the epidural hadn’t worked , the experience was so traumatic my husband left the room in tears. I just wanted to put it behind me and didn’t talk about it until I was pregnant again four years later. Determined to have a vaginal birth this time I was devastated when the surgeon said I would need another section due to scar tissue preventing baby moving down. I asked for a general anaesthetist this time but was told they only did that for emergency sections. As you can imagine when the day came I was terrified and sobbing as I went to theatre.. it was only once the operation had begun and I couldn’t feel any pain did I realise just how wrong it was the first time. ( this was a different hospital) I’m sure I could have sued them looking back but it had left me with PTSD and I just tried to get on with my life. I have two lovely grown up men and grandchildren now but will never forget it.

Two straightforward deliveries with a little bit of gas and air.

But I had an episiotomy for the first and the amateur embroiderer who sewed it up left me in pain if I coughed, laughed or sneezed for a few very uncomfortable days.

For the second one they let me tear and the embroiderer was rather more skilful...

So sad for all of you who had such awful experiences.

I felt cheated because all three were in the special baby unit after birth, so I never had the experience of holding them after birth, only worry. After the first, in the early seventies, there was no entry to the special unit, we only got to see the baby through a window. I had never held her until she was allowed home at three weeks. The second was only in a few days until we were told about the congenital abnormality that was present. By the time the third one arrived, the parents were actually allowed into the special unit. She was also in for almost three weeks

Horrible experience, first born in hospital and was due 30th January but actually born end of March. Periods were so irregular I could only give them the last date.
Induced birth and posterior presentation, multi stitches and I burst the blood vessels in my eyes which they told me was my own fault because I wasn't pushing properly.
Second baby born at home, another posterior presentation, they had assured me it would not happen again, 24 hours in labour and a 9lb baby. I had to wait nine hours for a doctor to come and stitch me, all such a mess. I decided on that day there would be no more babies as DH would not stay in the room with me even though the nurses were happy for him to be with me.

After the first, I suffered post partum haemorrhaging while still in hospital. All they did was massage my abdomen. It happened again two weeks later, just after baby got home, though I hadn’t been feeling too well. GP gave me pills to contract the uterus to empty it of placenta. After two more haemorrhages, he finally had me admitted. I needed a blood transfusion, and intravenous antibiotics and was kept in hospital for a week ‘ for the sake of my future health ‘, I was told. My GP admitted later that he was concerned when he saw me before I was sent to hospital. All as a result of the placenta not being completely removed. I heard one doctor telling another that there was ‘ a fair bit ‘ left. The consequences could have been serious. We didn’t complain in those days!

I was 21 with first son. He was one month early but a fairly easy normal birth. He spent a couple of days in an incubator. Daughter was a breech birth she was bottom first and I had an epidural. Now I’d be taken straight for a caesarean. Son number two was two hours start to finish but I haemorrhaged as his hand was at the side of his face during delivery. Each one was very different.