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What was your experience of childbirth ?

(147 Posts)
Floradora9 Tue 27-Sept-22 15:18:17

My children were both born in a small maternity hospital in the 1960s . Unless there were expected complications all the town's babies were born there. There were no doctors there permanently your GP was sent for at the last minute, as far as I was concerned ,and only arrived in time to put in the stitches. If they really had a problem there was no help on hand and they carried only the drugs needed for childbirth . I got a bad throat infection and they did not even have an asprin to offer me . I was left totally alone for quite a large part of the birth ( of course no husbands ) and all the pain relief offered was gas and air which I never got the hang of. After my DS was born I was left alone again with him in a cot over the other side of the room. He was making noises and I wondered if I should get up to look but did not dare.
My mother was well know in the town as she was a health visitor so the nurses expected me to know all about babies. I had had no experience of babies in the family and knew nothing . I found it all a bit traumatic .My mother had booked me in for a private room , £1 per day , but I would have been better in a ward with other mums. At that time you were kept in bed for a week . I asked to go home and was told nobody left in less than a week . Two years later DD was born there and I had the same private room . Fast forward 3 years and I had been fostering babies who were to be adopted getting them at 7 days old . A friend watched me changing one of the babies and remarked " my goodness you look like you have done that all your life "
As an aside my mother also did the family planning clinic and came home laughing about one of her mothers who had had far too many babies . When asked what her husband was doing about contraceptives she exclaimed " Dinna blame him I am as bad as he is " .

Bijou Wed 28-Sept-22 17:12:23

1947. Was sick for whole nine months. No health service or antenatal until last month. She was face presentation so had full anaesthetic. Was in hospital for ten days. Bill for 6 guineas.
My son twenty months later was completely different. Went from seven and half stone to eleven stone. No labour pains he just slid out. Even so was hospitalised for ten days. NHS.

leeds22 Wed 28-Sept-22 17:26:20

DS was born in a midwife led unit in a local hospital. It was long and painful and I gagged at the gas and air mask, so I think I had a shot of pethidine, which had worn off by the time I gave birth. I think the only reason he finally arrived was because the midwives were getting ready to ship me 10 miles down the road to Leeds General. Then there was the long wait for the GP to come and stitch me up. I only had the one baby.

Vintagenonna Wed 28-Sept-22 17:42:35

I had three 'normal' deliveries. First I was given too much pethidine and don't remember the actual delivery. Second was text-book but baby suddenly taken away 'to weigh'; informed half an hour later she was in an incubator and struggling to breathe*. Third turned up a bit fast so born at home with the midwife and a couple of paramedics in attendance and it was a fabulous experience. Daughter [2]* made a full recovery and I am blessed with three healthy, if annoying on occasion, kids who have so far provided me with four grandchildren.

But can I honestly say that the MOST traumatic childbirths I have experienced have been those of my two daughters; nothing prepared me for grinning at people and saying 'yes, isn't it wonderful, I'll be a grandma soon/again' when all I was feeling was "please, God, please bring my child safely through this."

Musicgirl Wed 28-Sept-22 17:48:58

These stories are all very interesting and it almost seems as if the straightforward, normal deliveries are more unusual than the difficult experiences of childbirth so many of us seem to have had. Women must be made of strong stuff as it is still fairly unusual to have only one child. Or perhaps the rest of us are going for hope over experience.

Daftbag1 Wed 28-Sept-22 17:54:31

Number 1: under GA as I had toxaemia, born at 34 weeks

Number 2: already in hospital, under observation. First twin born in front of lift, no labour just needed to push. Born at 36 weeks. Twin had previously died but delivered without difficulty.however needed transfusion

Number 3,: 4 contractions and she was born. I was alone, didn't deliver placenta so needed transfusion

essjay Wed 28-Sept-22 19:00:13

!st son, 2 weeks late, had to be induced, horrible procedure. needed loads of stitches, home after 24 hours because i was a nursery nurse and had worked at that hospital so the staff knew me. 2nd child, a daughter, waters broke and out she popped a few hours later, no drama at all, home the next day. 3rd child, a son, slow labour over a few days, but wasn't aware, shoulder got stuck because he was 10 1/2 pound, home later that day

Gabrielle56 Wed 28-Sept-22 19:05:56

First son in 1981 labour 22 hours then they sent husband home 15 minutes before baby arrived, he was sleeping in carpark. They took son away for four hours to nursery after and didn't let me hold him, stitched me without any anaesthetic, didn't show me how to breatsfeed, (son nearly died at 6 weeks apparently I'd no milk but as health visitor never came I had no idea! ) Second son q1983 different story , I refused to be sent home as I knew exactly when he was due! 5hoirs labour , I called the shots from the outset.
Fast forward 41 years and it has dawned on e that the reason for our appalling treatment wa down to us having a foreign name!! Staff took the piss constantly about my name and were generally very rude to both me and ex.on first visiting time they told him he had to sit on an empty waiting room until called and he nearly missed visiting altogether! And they refused entry altogether to my German mum in law! Saying immediate family only!!!!Absolutely disgusting people. I'm ohso glad I found my substantial voice by time #2son came along and took NO crap from any of them!! Best thing about both? A midwife from Dominica who took control of both actual birthing and smuggled some ice cream for me during labour as they'd starved me all day with #1baby telling me it could mean I could have a seizure and die and baby at risk too if I ate anything!!! Utter crap! I have nil respect for racist staff no matter how qualified they think they are! They ruined what should have been two perfectly normal events and joyous o occasions

Magrithea Wed 28-Sept-22 19:21:19

I was lucky as all my three were born overseas so I had private care - obstetrician for all the care (he didn't get paid if he wasn't at the birth!) - and all 3 labours were straight forward. I stayed in 7 days with DD but only 3 or 4 with both DSs. I was also fortunate to have help at home (normal in Hong Kong) which made things a lot easier.

Sasta Wed 28-Sept-22 19:33:22

That’s an interesting story Floradora9. How lovely to have helped those new babies. After having my first born, I asked to see the placenta. I was fascinated at what had kept my baby alive all that time. There was no Google then and I had no idea. The midwife was coarse and refused, asking if I also ‘wanted to bring it home to make the gravy with on Sunday’. Wouldn’t get away with that today, thankfully. With my second baby five on, that was not a nice experience due to the nurse in charge who was absolutely awful to everybody. I didn’t get ‘into trouble’ with her as I think she recognised I lived in the same street as her, but she left plenty of the new mums in tears. I was placed in the bed next to the toilets, consequently when we got home, both me and my beautiful baby and everything in my case absolutely reeked of cigarettes, including my baby’s hair. It was really vile ?

Greciangirl Wed 28-Sept-22 19:39:06

Do we really want to hear about other people’s sometimes horrific and sometimes traumatic experiences with childbirth.

I certainly don’t, so I won’t continue to read any more.

P.s. even the good ones, I don’t want to know about.

Boolya Wed 28-Sept-22 19:56:14

First child - wakened up with a lost cold so stayed in bed. Developed back ache and began to realise that what I thought was discomfort from wind kept coming on at regular intervals. Our car was in for service (I was 10 days early) so my husband had to use a work car to get me to the maternity home. A very old house with a romantic history. I was examined on a mattress on a door pulled down over the bath and told I was in labour. Into delivery room, had my waters broken and within 3 hours we had a lovely daughter. Felt like I could've walked into town afterwards, I was so high on adrenaline.
Second child - waters went in the middle of the night and again the car was in for service (1 week early this time). Taxi to nearest big hospital and things moved fast, however staff thought they knew better and our son was almost born on a trolley in the corridor en route to delivery room.
I was so lucky with the births and they made up for lousy pregnancies - 8 months of sickness - yuk.

Boolya Wed 28-Sept-22 19:56:56

I should add that this was in the early 70s.

Sasta Wed 28-Sept-22 20:12:56

I agree.

Witzend Wed 28-Sept-22 20:19:00

Me too, Vintagenonna. I asked not to be told until Gdc1 had arrived safely - would have been in a terrible tizz otherwise. Dd had a very difficult first labour - baby back to back - and although the midwives were aware (she was in the MW unit) the wretched MWs didn’t make her aware of the difficulties, and that she could have had help and avoided many hours of pain, not to mention damage, if they’d just sent her downstairs to the obstetric unit rather earlier.

When she asked them later why not, they said, ‘Oh, we thought you wanted to do it yourself.’ I’m still mad about that.

Thank goodness her 2 subsequent labours were infinitely easier.

Keffie12 Wed 28-Sept-22 21:53:31

I was ill through my first 3 pregnancies so in out of pre natal. Eldest son, in 1985, was 6 and a half hours, 8lb baby. No walk in the park but OK.

2nd 2 years later in 1987. I threatened to miscarry, give birth early so on bed rest as well as same health issues. Only daughter she was born in 2 and a half hours. Didn't know I was in labour. I was on pre natal. The nurse told me I was. Chronic backache was all I had. Labour, last stage, was over in 10 minutes and like bad constipation. She was 8lb.

Then I had my 3rd, 2 years later. He was my worst. It was horrendous. They told me no more after him. Even though he was only 2 hours and 50 minutes major back story with him. He was 9lb.

I did have my 4th 7 years later. I was terrified with what had happened before. I wasn't well in that pregnancy either. 4 and a half hours all together. He was 8lb. No major problem's

Gwenisgreat1 Wed 28-Sept-22 22:36:05

My first was very reluctant. Turned out she was breech, which was the weirdest sensation as she turned. I was told to come to the hospital 1st August 1972 for the birth to be induced. 2 days of contractions later and she finally arrived. The doc announced had they have known she was going to be so big, I would have had a C section! My undercarriage felt like someone with hob-nailed boots had been putting pressure on that delicate area. It was about a week before I could sit up. I had great difficulty with breast feeding, but one mid-wife managed to help her to latch on. My 2nd birth was much easier, thank goodness.

Feather Thu 29-Sept-22 09:18:13

Four babies all born at home in the 1990s. No pain relief (my decision) no stitches. Three born in London, one in N Ireland. Only midwife care. Four of the best days of my life. Husband and then other children present throughout. Number 2 watched numbet 3 being born.
PS My dad was present at my birth in the mid 60s. Fought his way in after clearing it with a consultant. Always proud felt very proud of him for that.

Mamardoit Thu 29-Sept-22 09:32:57

So sad reading some of your experiences.

There was a TV series hosted by Claire Rayner about childbirth and I remember watching that. I also read lots of magazines and books about childbirth. I even asked my mum about her experiences. All she said was don't worry once you have your baby you will forget the worst bits.

I was 22 when I had my first. I was terrified by everything that happened. I was in a small maternity unit staffed by midwives. There were no doctors on site just a rota of local GPs who came in to do the anti natal clinic and stitches when required. Any problems would have meant a blue light to the main teaching hospital.

I arrived in labour and was told they were very busy and just sit on a hair and wait. But I couldn't sit down. They ordered DH into a room with other dads. In the end a very elderly (about 60 maybe!) ordered me into a tiny room with a bath and a bed and told me to undress completely. She was quite rough when she examined me and seemed quite annoyed with me. There was no time for an enema, shave or bath so I put a nightie on and followed the midwife to one of the delivery rooms. She didn't care that I could barely walk. Another midwife was already there and she was really kind and helped me up onto the bed. I will never forget that wonderful little midwife with the lovely Scottish accent. She calmed me down and convinced me I could do it! Well I did do it and DS1 was born. We stayed in the maternity home for a week with the first. It was quite regimented but they staff made sure we could look after our babies and I got breast feeding established. The staff were fantastic and even the very old school midwife who I first saw had her softer side.

I had DC2 and 3 in the same maternity home and met my Scottish midwife again. She had six grown up children of her own.

My youngest three were born at the local teaching hospital. By then it was the only place available because all the small maternity units had been closed. It was suggested I go for a home birth with one, but I'm not that brave.

All of my births were straight forward. I know I was very fortunate.

JECB Thu 29-Sept-22 09:59:34

How fascinating to hear how times have changed. Good for you for fostering !

Germanshepherdsmum Thu 29-Sept-22 10:28:50

1985. Brand new maternity unit at renowned university teaching hospital. On admission in labour, older midwife commented that my pelvic opening was very narrow. Given epidural. 23 hours later after being told off in no uncertain terms by a male doctor for pushes being inadequate, two young and clearly not confident midwives experimenting with drugs to increase contractions and epidural having worn off, female doctor renewed epidural and ordered immediate c-section as baby was in distress. Baby’s head had come down into birth canal, shoulders too wide to pass. Subsequent X-ray showed I was unlikely to be able to give birth naturally. I was astounded that this had only ever been picked up by the midwife I saw on admission, and either not noted down or ignored. My baby was very fortunate to survive with no ill effects.

Lupin Thu 29-Sept-22 11:36:11

Crikey! Some awful and traumatic experiences related. Sympathies to you all Women are tough!
My first daughter was born in 1971. From late pregnancy I was aware that something wasn't normal but never clear what. My blood pressure was high, I think. Had to give birth in a hospital instead of the maternity unit. Was induced and had a long labour, but pain and care managed well. They were on the point of taking me for a c-section, I was aware of some panic when a lovely, calm and competent Indian lady doctor wearing a sari came on duty. She used forceps - again pain managed well but I couldn't breathe properly and had to be given oxygen. Dear baby came facing the wrong way with the cord round her neck. Both of us had been in distress. However, she recovered quickly and was alert from the start. THEN 1970s think came into play. It was the received wisdom of the day to separate babies who had had difficult births from their mothers and cot nurse them for 24 hours. The doctor who had delivered her came onto the ward next day to see me, and when she asked me how I was feeling I burst into tears, and she insisted that they bring my baby and let her be by my side. I was allowed to pick her up later that day.
My second daughter was just about born in a hospital delivery unit and not on a trolley. She came early but healthy after an easy labour, but they did an episiotomy and left me for ages before a weary doctor came to stitch me up. The pain relief had worn off! I will say no more.

AlisonKF Thu 29-Sept-22 18:22:15

Re Juggernaut. My experiences in N. Ireland in 1964 were partially like Juggernaut's. No clinics pre birth, booked a room at cottage hospital, cost £12.00 for a week.Knew nothing about babies and my mother in Scotland. Read everything up in advance from Dr. Spock. Husband not in attendance and would have been horrified at the idea. The staff gave me some lessons on how to hold baby and bath him etc. Stayed ten days eventually. I declined to breast feed. No arguments, just a drug to stop the milk. (Ten years later, I did try to feed a second son, but it failed after about six weeks).Had one visit post birth from a district nurse. "You seem to be getting on all right". Never saw her again. I was lucky to be fit and healthy with no problems but got little or no help from anyone, including husband.

Maggieanne Thu 29-Sept-22 21:08:30

My first child I had a 52 hour labour, all of the staff, bar a few were spiteful and nasty. The most miserable time of my life.

Beautful Fri 30-Sept-22 07:54:30

No, not read , just glanced at a few ... why people would want to talk of their child birth I do not know ... are you try to put people off having children ... not all are bad ... this is a personal thing not for everyone to know about !

Galaxy Fri 30-Sept-22 08:05:37

Both MN and GN are pretty much built on women sharing their experiences. Both sites would collapse if it wasnt fir women sharing personal stories. You dont have to read obviously.
My first was straightforward. The second was long and ended with the midwife and the doctor fighting in front of me about what should happen. The doctor thankfully won and I was taken for an emergency section. She saved my childs life.