Spending weekend alone

The "nobody to do nothing with" quote is a good one Knittingnovice. My husband died 3 years ago and although he wasn't very talkative and we often hardly spoke in the evenings I do miss his presence. Going out and seeing friends is fine but the house is sometimes very empty in the evenings without him messing around with his computer in the background.

I felt alone when i was in a 18 year relationship.
I have friends who are always saying how unhappy they are because their hubby/partner are out again. Or they've had a row I'd rather be on my own then a drama in the house

I'm not poo pooing your feelings
Like someone said on here, its about getting out. Maybe join gym or classes. I've lived alone for 7 years but been on my own for 35 years. Had few dates/ boyfriends but nothing too serious

Where do you live?
I'm always happy to meet for coffee but i live in London

Try have nice day tomorrow?
Maybe good book, take you away from your thoughts

Thank you everyone for taking the time to post comments. I feel supported by people who know how I feel, but sad at the same time as its not a pleasant feeling.

I'm an introvert so like my own company, but I don't always want to be alone.

I remember ester rantzen she has plenty of people to do things with, but nobody to do nothing with which is lonely. I relate to that.

There are so many comments on here it's hard to reply to them all, but the time of year is a factor I think, possibly low mood which posters have said.

I think also possibly my childhood plays a role somehow.

Thank you

Sorry Knittingnovice, I live alone and have recently caught a virus which has caused labyrinthitis, a severe balance problem. I've had it a month now and sometimes can't drive, it's the loneliest and most vulnerable I've ever felt, even though my son is only an hour and a bit away. I don't have a friend nearby I could ring, both of my best friends are 350 miles away. In a dire emergency I could try a neighbour, but they weren't much cop when my roof blew off last year.

We just have to be our own best friend and be kind to ourselves. Spend your 'lone' time doing nice things for you, even as basic as doing a menu plan and shopping list, go to the market to shop for lovely fruit and veg, spoil yourself a bit. Sundays here there is a large market and it has a nice community feel, I often go just to be amongst people. Next time you know you won't be seeing anyone on Sunday, plan a walk and a coffee at the end of it, even a piece of cake. I take my dog to the beach every day, and once a month go to the local art gallery with him. Since I was widowed I've never been invited to Sunday lunch - I think I miss the family sunday lunch mayhem the most. Take care.

Lyng17

I can't get my head around some of the unkind attitudes on here. I am amazed that those making thoughtless comments have any company themselves if that's how they treat others.

I agree. And internet comments when you’re sat at home on your own can really hurt.

My late mother hated Sundays.
We would meet up on Saturdays but my husband would not have her in our company on Sundays. She could be difficult and demanding, but as an only child I miss her greatly.
I am older now, and thinking of the future when I or my husband will be left on our own, hoping family will phone.
These thoughts are just to tell the OP you are not alone with lonely thoughts but as others have said, the world will not come to find you, you need to find a new relationship or more friends while you are still younger and fit. Please keep in touch with us all. ?

And I. Hate. Sundays too! I always have!

I can't get my head around some of the unkind attitudes on here. I am amazed that those making thoughtless comments have any company themselves if that's how they treat others.

Hello knittingnovice, I know how you feel, I have been there too despite plenty going on in my life and being married too! I sympathise ?
I think sometimes I don’t know how to’just be me’ when there are so many demands on us.
I hope tomorrow brings some cheer x

Weekends are the worst though aren’t they?
You can be perfectly OK on a weekday, even welcome the peace and “space” for yourself, but personally I hate Sundays and have posted on this before, how glad I am when it’s Monday again.
How you cope with being on your own is down to you though.
Look at it positively - eat what you like, drink what you like, watch what TV you like, go to bed and get up when you like.
My DH died well before his time , nearly 5 years ago and if I were to let being on my own get me down I would never pick myself up again.
You don’t say why you are on your own , I hope it is not for a sad reason but remember life is not the cards you are dealt but how you play your hand

I agree you can be lonely even in a crowd. Sometimes loneliness just hits you even if your part of a group or family. I do hope some of these comments have helped.

Hello knittingnovice. I'm sorry you feel like this. It's not easy is it. Lots of good suggestions above for finding company. But it not that simple sometimes is it. I've lived alone for years and mostly don't mind, but just now and then I could rage and scream against the loneliness.
This time of year emphasises it I think, with the dark winter ahead.
I hope you find something to make you feel better. Good wishes.

Ah knittingnovice try not to dwell. Perhaps watch some tv tonight? Strictly is popular with many people and maybeyou could immerse yourself in that or similar for a couple of hours? Don’t go to bed too late. Tomorrow you could ring someone for a chat. Or FaceTime them? That’s almost as good a real company. Look up something on YouTube that might make you laugh too. It’s the best medicine.

It’ll soon be Monday. ?

Sorry to hear you're feeling this way , I wish I had some wise words for you . I feel the same as you somedays, I'm happily married with 2 grown up daughters and 3 lovely grandchildren. I'm in constant pain with arthritis and neuropathy pain. I often feel I have no-one to talk to , I don't feel I can talk to my family, as they're probably fed up with me complaining. I'm sorry you've had some negative comments on here , I find it can be a bit judgemental on here , which surprises me , as I thought the point of the site is to ask for advice or just to have a vent.

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I am so sorry knittingnovice that you feel so alone. If there are others in the area maybe you could take it in turns to visit and have coffee, chat, watch TV together or similar? It doesn’t mean to be a grand occasion, just a friendly get together.

I have lived alone for years and really relish my freedom and solitude and enjoy activities and social activities outside my home... but the times I have felt lonely have been when I have felt low or unwell eg covid.. I'm wondering whether you are depressed? Perhaps have a chat with your GP... just a thought... wish you well..

Hello Knittingnovice even if you don't want to attend a church service, many churches have coffee mornings where you can pop in and chat to people and perhaps make new friends. It may be something to consider. I do hope that you find somewhere that will make a difference to your life and leave you feeling less lonely.

The most alone I felt was visiting a seaside town and being surrounded by people. Everyone seemed to be with someone else except me. And yet I often used to go out alone for the day when I still had my family at home and thought nothing of it.

The poster didn’t say she was lonely in life she said she has friends and hobbies and goes to groups and is busy at work just that she would be lonely tonight and tomorrow because her hobbies weren’t happening that’s why I replied as I did
I have EVERY compassion for lonely people whether they are lonely through lack of friends/ activities/ groups or isolation of any kind but poster said it was just because she had not got anything happening these two days

Sometimes you can feel totally alone even when surrounded by people.
There is no easy answer OP but sometimes just sharing how you feel can help. Please ignore the unsympathetic comments they are not at all helpful. Have you a close friend you could share your feelings with. The suggestion of a church service might help especially if you have a church nearby that focuses on the wellbeing of its members. We have a lovely Christian church nearby that gets very involved in the community and is very supportive.

Grandmadinosaur

What happened to being kind? All the replies “words fail me”
Nobody really knows how people feel and what’s going on in there lives. If they are lonely they are lonely and unkind words don’t help.

Totally agree, why be so harsh, we are all different. I am surprised at some of these replies, which will only make the OP feel worse.

spending time alone can be the beginning of a new life even.A hobby not yet explored.
Visit museum, or art gallery.

I have 3 children and their families , all living in the same village /town as I do. I haven’t had a text or a call. Since it’s such a beautiful day, I’m sure they’re at the seaside or wherever, with their young families. And that’s how it should be. I spent the day catching up with my washing, tidying etc. Thats how the future’s looking ?

ooops I meant to say too many mean comments on here !