Spending weekend alone

Chestnut

Being alone is not the same as being lonely. I do think our childhood can create a need for either company or solitude. If you had siblings and a lively household that will be what you are used to. An only child can cope with solitude and may even dislike noisy groups. So I feel our upbringing is relevant.

I feel sorry for people who need others to bounce off all the time, because it's as though they can't bear their own company and their own thoughts. And it can't be good for you. Your brain needs to spend time with itself. I sometimes worry that the grandchildren are not getting enough 'alone time' because they are constantly with others from getting out of bed until they go back to bed.

But I was like that. I’m someone that needs a certain amount of me time and solitude. Which is why it hit me so hard when I found myself overwhelmed by loneliness.

Can’t believe people putting comments on here that are not supportive.It just makes the situation worse.If you can’t say anything kind then don’t bother saying anything.Barbarax

Being alone is not the same as being lonely. I do think our childhood can create a need for either company or solitude. If you had siblings and a lively household that will be what you are used to. An only child can cope with solitude and may even dislike noisy groups. So I feel our upbringing is relevant.

I feel sorry for people who need others to bounce off all the time, because it's as though they can't bear their own company and their own thoughts. And it can't be good for you. Your brain needs to spend time with itself. I sometimes worry that the grandchildren are not getting enough 'alone time' because they are constantly with others from getting out of bed until they go back to bed.

❤️ I so remember my first Easter weekend alone , 4 days , no one to talk to , or be with , others surrounded by family and friends
It's painful but as time goes by it somehow gets easier and after many years alone it is quite normal to spend days alone, I'm no longer haunted by loneliness and am grateful for that .

I totally understand

too many women commenting on here.

if the OP says she is lonely then she is lonely ask why. don't criticize.
i had to learn how to cope when a sudden severe illness made mehousebound. I had to learn.......its not always possible to feel ok in a new situation.

op my suggestion is to do something new tomorrow and plan it today. even going out for tea or cofee.

Are there any events taking place tomorrow. Use the internet to find out.
Good luck and ignore the unkind comment

Well said Grandmadinosaur exactly my thoughts.

Hello. So sorry that you feel lonely. Even more sorry for some of the abrupt comments on here.
I sense a sadness about you. You didn't say why you are alone. Bereavement, divorce, never married? I mention this because my brother died this week. They had no family, so my sister in law is alone this weekend. I live a very long distance from her. She too is going to be facing loneliness. She's not one for small talk, chatting on the phone either. I hope your feeling of sadness will lift. My thoughts are with you.

Knittingnovice, I think 'lonely' is a state of mind - rather than actually being alone. I felt very lonely when married to my first husband (the wrong man) yet I'm happy all on my own now. I do like to see people but for short periods only, ideally just a few hours. I have a relative staying - and just can't wait for them to leave!

What happened to being kind? All the replies “words fail me”
Nobody really knows how people feel and what’s going on in there lives. If they are lonely they are lonely and unkind words don’t help.

Can I ask Mapleleaf what is meant by the comment of 'another one' please?

Tomorrow is Sunday. Most churches irrespective of denomination have a nice community. Could you just go to one and see how you get on? You may not be religious but might like the feeling of fellowship.

Too many people can't function on their own, but rely on others to provide them what they need.
There is no need for anyone to complain of being lonely. There is just too much going on. Get out there and join in instead of expecting people to come knocking on your door.

is there a wetherspoons near you.
i went to one once, to meet a group, but couldn't face it, so i gatecrashed another table where there were interesting friendly people.
and i don't drink alcohol; they told me about the re-fillable coffee. not sure if that's still available.
but the chance to meet people is.
still remember them, from pre-pandemic.
what have you got to lose. give it a go.

Many years ago after my divorce I found that at weekends I didn’t speak to anyone from when I left work on Friday till I went back to work on Monday morning. One weekend I phoned 1471 on the Saturday night and there was a missed call. When I realised that it was me phoning my landline to see if it was working I got so upset I phoned Samaritans and said I’m not suicidal at all but just wanted to hear someone’s voice. The loneliness was overwhelming and I was too embarrassed to reach out to anyone I knew for help. My home had a lonely feel to it. And I’m someone that has always enjoyed my own company. There’s always someone on here Knittingnovice if you want to chat, and some of us are night owls x

I agree there's a stigma around admitting you're lonely, and people tend to ask, in disbelief, how this is possible, when there are so many clubs to join and volunteer schemes, etc. But I think when loneliness strikes, whether you're physically alone or not, it's hard to shake off and you need some self-care and empathy from others. So I just want to say I understand; I've been lonely too.
In my experience, sometimes you need just one true friend to not feel alone, and they can be hard to find.

Has this feeling just started to get worse recently? I reckon as the nights draw in and the season changes our instincts can make us want to herd together more. Just my (probably daft) theory.
When I get that rather anxious, isolated feeling and nobody is around I phone a friend or take myself off to find a corner in the local pub.

I'm surprised at some comments although I haven't said much in the post. It's not so much being alone, it's that in an emergency I have nobody to call.

I'm usually OK alone but not this weekend

Thank you. I'm not very good with words but I'm pretty isolated for various reasons. I go to groups where I chat to people but feel lonely sometimes there but I keep on going.

I've joined the gym too, but no guarantee I'll make friends but it's keeping busy.

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How about starting a thread on here about your hobbies and interests and having a chat with like minded people?
Even if I’m not interested in a particular topic for myself it is always good to learn new stuff from enthusiastic folk.

I'm on my own a lot. All ,I can suggest is find things to do that absorb you and you won't feel lonely. Read, do puzzles, watch a film or go for a walk.

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Sometimes you can be in a crowd and still feel lonely. I keep myself busy with hobbies and crafts the TV is good company in the background. I found myself sitting in Costa with a cuppa on Thursday eve watching the world go by. By far the best company are my 2 little dogs. I had an old friend at the other end of the village who had a cat the pair were devoted to each other. She found a cat much easier to look after I remember sitting reading to her when she was ill a couple of week before she passed away the cat rarely left her side. Maybe a pet would be the answer? Your not on your own having these feelings you can always msg for a chat on here. Sending love.

Perhaps you could suggest and organise seeing people from these groups at some other point during the weekend.

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