Which is more important? I can't decide.

Mine is very kind and thoughtful but hasn't forgotten how to be sexy on the right occasion. Certainly has looked after himself physically looks good.

These are lovely replies.

Late husband was kind and, for me, that made him sexy. I don't think the marriage would have worked if either component was missing.
Current love interest is also very kind although he tries to hide it behind a gruff exterior and, yes, I find him sexy although not necessarily in the mad-panting-lust way of 50 years ago.

Definitely sexiness when I was young but now it has to be kindness. My husband is kind & tolerant, that's what I love about him.

To this day my husband remains the kindest man I have ever met and it’s most definitely the reason I married him. That he is also easy on the eye is simply a bonus.

M0nica, I'm with you all the way on the non-smoker part. No matter how attractive I found someone, if they were a smoker, it would be an instant non-starter.

I remember kate.

Thank you kitty. It was a long time ago.

(((Hugs))) kate.

Thank you Dickens. Our lovely nephew was 16 when he died, 14 when he contracted leukemia. Two years of hell for him.

My first long term relationship was all about lust, not a lot of kindness there, and it didn’t end well.
I’ve always known my husband was a kind man, and I think it’s my number one reason for being together for so long.

In fact, I don't think I thought about much else (other than sex!) in the early days so I think it was probably luck that means we are still here.

M0nica

Then and now the most important thing in a partner was that he be a non-smoker and tidy.

DH, hid his untidiness very successfully until after we married (54 years ago).

that gave me a chuckle,

Kate1949

They are indeed. He never mentions it or tells anyone. Bless him.

What an awesome man your DH is!

Made my day reading your story. But how sad about your nephew - how old was he?

Things do change over time - 52 years is a long time. And yes, physical attraction was very strong, but so was his calm, kind, gentle and caring manner.

Then and now the most important thing in a partner was that he be a non-smoker and tidy.

DH, hid his untidiness very successfully until after we married (54 years ago).

Thank you Jane. Yes I've had him for 55 years, I might as well keep him.

Yes it is unpleasant. However, he was admitted to The London Clinic in Harley Street (I think) and was fed lovely food and, if he had wanted it, wine and gin and tonics!

Oh Kate, I'm sorry about your nephew. Your husband sounds like a keeper

Most definitely bless him, and everyone like him.

I have heard it is quite an unpleasant procedure, too.

Now that would put me off, for a start!

They are indeed. He never mentions it or tells anyone. Bless him.

What a noble thing to do!
Ordinary, everyday people are blooming amazing, on the quiet, (sometimes!) aren't they?

It does MissA. It was after our nephew died of leukaemia. DH went on the register. He was an 'near match' for a lady in France who had young children. He donated his bone marrow to her. Unfortunately she didn't make it. I'm ashamed to say I didn't sign up for the register, although it was my brother's son who died.

Kate that goes over and beyond kindness, doesn't it?
I'm sure not many people are that kind. I'm definitely not!!