Dog friendly? What would you do?

A meal isn’t just the food. But the essence is it wasn’t what they wanted to do.

Why is what Nannyrose wanted more important than what they wanted?

You mean they should have said we’re going to eat in the restaurant before the walk? Yes if that had already been decided pre walk I agree.

But I still think the people in the group should be able to just go and have the meal they want.

I really don’t get having to have a meal that isn’t what you want just because someone else wants to be with their dog.

It isn’t like they stopped her from having a meal or being with her dog. It’s that she thought they ought to be with her while she did what she wanted.

It seems rather one-sided to me.

They could have had the meal they wanted wherever they sat. The OP told us the menu was the same in all three seating areas.

We'll it doesn't seem reasonable to me.
I really don't like dogs but I wouldn't have acted as these 'friends' did. They should have made their intentions clear and not been so hurtful.

I wouldn’t reach that conclusion

Week, I’ve been one of the most vociferous on this thread, but I would reach that conclusion either.

Just that they wanted to eat in the restaurant and that’s what they did.

Nothing personal against Grannyrose or her dog. Just deciding if we’re paying for a meal we’re going to have the one we want.

It seems so reasonable to me.

Glorianny

It is actually quite difficult to say to a dog owner "I don't want/can't stand your dog" . So perhaps the group have tried dropping hints before and just been ignored. This time they chose to eat where the dog couldn't go. The message is clear. The dog isn't wanted.

You have no justification for that statement at all. Nothing I have told you could possibly lead you to that conclusion.

I can see this from both sides. I’m a life long dog lover. I don’t currently have one but I’m frequently doggy sitting for my AC. I have my daughter’s dog with me tonight and I love him to bits.

However, I’ve had meals out spoiled by other peoples dogs sniffing about under tables, dogs growling at each other etc. There are lots of reasons why some folk don’t like sharing their dining space with dogs. Hygiene reasons, possibly being uneasy/afraid of dogs and possibly cultural reasons. My friend next door is a Muslim and she won’t enter my house if I have one of the family dogs here. She regards them as “unclean”

On a few occasions I’ve had to make a hasty exit from a cafe with a relative who has a severe learning disability and is terrified of dogs.

I do think it was unpleasant of the “friends” that not one of them offered to join you in the dog friendly area.

It is actually quite difficult to say to a dog owner "I don't want/can't stand your dog" . So perhaps the group have tried dropping hints before and just been ignored. This time they chose to eat where the dog couldn't go. The message is clear. The dog isn't wanted.

Not friends at all ! If I was hungry would have eaten outside with my dog ... if not come right home ... no way would I have left my dog outside ... if I had been there I would have said ... (no doubt others would have well) ... I will have lunch outside with you ... would I meet up with them again ??? ... Doubt it very much !

Luckygirl3 The OP has already said
"I have walked with this group before with no problems regarding dogs, mine or anyone else's."
"I am familiar with the place we were eating at and know they have a dog friendly area."

No assumptions made.

Most restaurants do not allow dogs so the situation was predictable, Maybe leave dog at home next time. To be honest I think it was a big assumption to think that the other walkers wanted your dog on their walk.

I’d definitely have headed home with my dog, would rather be in his company than friends like those. I have taken my dog in dog friendly areas of pubs and cafes many times and he has just gone to sleep under the table, no trouble at all.

Dogs should be important to their owners. The creature's entire well being is in the owner's hands. Taking good care of your animal's welfare does not mean you treat it as a human.

3, without a doubt. A dog (which by its very nature always gives unconditional love and devotion) is far more important to me than these so-called friends. That’s where my priorities lie.

Glorianny

I'm always amazed at how important dog owners think their dogs are. They are animals, they are not human. They are best and happiest when they are treated as animals and not people.

All my dogs have been hugely important to me and my family.

As I said before they are a lot nicer than many humans

I think there are definitely two ways to look at this. One is that the friends were rude not to change their plans and sit with the OP, and the other is that that the OP was rude to expect them to fit around her decision to take the dog.

I honestly don't think it's clear cut one way or the other, and don't really understand the vehemence of those who are speaking against the friends. I agree that real friends wouldn't be likely to leave one person sitting on her own for lunch, which is why I wonder if there is more to the incident than we know.

I'm always amazed at how important dog owners think their dogs are. They are animals, they are not human. They are best and happiest when they are treated as animals and not people.

It sounds as though ‘the group’ decided to exclude granny rose and her dog, without any discussion. Surely there’d have been a standing around outside the venue, discussing which area was most popular. The dog free restaurant decided on, granny rose says ok, enjiy your lunch, I’ll take Fido home (and make myself a cheese sandwich ?).
I simply can’t imagine walking with people like that again.

I do wonder if the group are sending you a message that they don't really want your dog with them. It is very difficult to tell a dog lover that their dog is a problem, but they can be. I have friends who sometimes bring their dogs with them. They are small dogs and well behaved for the most part, but when they are on the lead I worry about tripping over it, and when they are off the lead I worry about tripping over them. We seem to have to stop every few minutes whilst the dogs sniff, relieve themselves or do some other activity. As there are only a few of us it doesn't really matter but I can imagine a larger group getting really annoyed.
Why not find a group of dog owners to walk and eat with?

Blondiescot

Lathyrus

No I’m not going to back down on this one.

It was the OPs decision to take her dog on the walk and to not take the car for him to be in for the meal. So she expected that others would fall in with her wish to have lunch in the Conservatory.

When they all wanted to have lunch in the restaurant she thought they were wrong not to do what she wanted.

They all wanted to eat in the restaurant together and that’s what they did. Why shouldn’t they?

Is it reasonable to expect other people to sacrifice their enjoyment to your wishes?

Why expect other people to

Because it was downright bloody rude of them to exclude her, that's why! There were alternative arrangements available where they could all have sat together and ate as a group. They wouldn't have had to 'sacrifice' anything. I would never have left a friend of mine to eat on her own. Some 'friends'...

Couldn’t agree more, downright bloody rude it was.

Without discussion or consultation with anybody in the group.

Nobody likes to be railroaded with “You won’t do what I want. You’ve upset me now”

Yes she wanted to eat where she could have her dog with her.

They wanted to eat in the restaurant.

They both couldn’t have what they wanted.

So the OP wanted them to give up the restaurant meal so that she could have what she wanted.
She expected the group to do what she wanted, right from the moment she decided not to take the car.

Ladyleftfieldlover

Granny rose - why didn’t you tell them that you wanted to go in the dog friendly area? If there’d been a discussion it might have been that some went with you in the dog friendly area and others in the non-dog area.

Sounds like a reasonable compromise- keeping both friends and mutt happy!

It's not what she wanted though is it Lathyrus. The group arranged to go out to have lunch together. That's what they were all expecting. The cafe's restrictions allowed them all to sit together in the dog friendly area and the rest of the group left the OP alone. What an odd thing to do? If one of a party isn't allowed in an area nothing would possess me to let them eat alone.