Dog friendly? What would you do?

win

I am totally with Lathyrus

So am I. I'm actually shocked at some of the replies on here. Basically regardless of how uncomfortable people feel about eating around dogs, or how much they were looking forward to a nice meal and chat on a comfortable environment, they should have just bowed to the wishes of the one person amongst them who had decided to bring their dog along.

Lathyrus ''People love their dogs more than they love human friends. Me, I love my friends and family. But I don’t bring them along when Im out for a meal with friends and expect everyone to eat in Pizza Hut because thats what they like?''

really? What a daft post. And no, many of us dog lovers do not love dogs more than humans. You have completely distorted this thread and turned it into something it was not meant to be. It is about friendship. If some chose to eat in the restaurant, fine- but I would have never ever left a friend to eat on her own. Never. Simple enough.

If someone brought their child along on a group weekend away and then assumed the rest of the group would be happy to go to the playground/have dinner at 5.50/ spend the weekend modifying their language would people think that reasonable?

Wondering how big the group was. Also surprised there was no discussion between OP and the people she knows well when the decision to all eat in the restaurant was being made.

I’m not sure just why you would have to take your dog with you. I completely understand the live one has for a dog. I preferred the company of my late lamented Yorkshire terrier to that of most humans but didn’t feel that he had to accompany me to every social occasion and some people don’t relish eating in the company of dogs. Not all dogs are well behaved at table and even small dogs can be intimidating when there is food in the vicinity.

Love not live

Fleurpepper

Lathyrus ''People love their dogs more than they love human friends. Me, I love my friends and family. But I don’t bring them along when Im out for a meal with friends and expect everyone to eat in Pizza Hut because thats what they like?''

really? What a daft post. And no, many of us dog lovers do not love dogs more than humans. You have completely distorted this thread and turned it into something it was not meant to be. It is about friendship. If some chose to eat in the restaurant, fine- but I would have never ever left a friend to eat on her own. Never. Simple enough.

Lots and lots people have said that that they prefer dogs to humans on this thread. I was just acknowledging that. So I think you’re being unjust to them to say it’s daft.

I prefer humans to animals even though theyre more difficult. I find them much more interesting.

You would never leave a friend to eat alone in a restaurant. That’s your measure of friendship.

I would never put a friend in position where she had to chose between pleasing me and what she really wanted to do.
That’s my measure.

she does sound rather miffed in a passive aggressive way

Ok, this is ridiculous.

3 for me, and I'd also be reconsidering just how true their friendship is.

RichmondPark1

*she does sound rather miffed in a passive aggressive way*

Ok, this is ridiculous.

I don't think it's ridiculous. The people in the group had 3 options:

1. All of them, even those uncomfortable around dogs, allergic to dogs or who had left their own dogs at home to sit out in the conservatory

2. Some of the group to sit out in the conservatory, thereby splitting the group in two,even though the plan was to all sit together and get to know each other

3. Stick to the original plan and let the OP deal with the dog situation

They chose option 3 and now are being criticised and name called on a public forum for doing so.

It's very unfair.

How is anyone being 'name called' on here - nobody knows anyone's real names? This is descending into farcical realms now. Was anyone in the group uncomfortable around dogs or allergic? That's a bit of an assumption to make.

The group has been called rude, nasty, unfriendly, unkind etc by posters for simply sticking to their original plan.

Blondiescot

How is anyone being 'name called' on here - nobody knows anyone's real names? This is descending into farcical realms now. Was anyone in the group uncomfortable around dogs or allergic? That's a bit of an assumption to make.

In any group there's bound to be some people who are uncomfortable around dogs or don't like eating around them.

Where is she... we still don't have the full story.

Yes well, when people start using terms like farcical, ridiculous, daft and distorted about other people’s posts, they’ve run out of logical points to put forward. The only thing to do is get personal then.

If people could put aside their emotions and look at the facts they would be able to see that the situation was entirely of the OPs making. She choose badly.

The difference between us is that some of us think the group should have rescued her from that bad choice, giving way to be friendly and kind.

And some of us believe that there may have been a number of good reasons in the wider group why the OPs decision should not have been the deciding factor for the whole group.

I do believe the OP should have considered the wider group when she made her decision. I don’t think they were selfish and nasty to reject her idea of how they should eat lunch.
I think it was ok for them to chose what they wanted to do.

Personally if I had done what the OP had done, I would have gone home thinking, “Well that was a silly thing I did. Next time I’ll take the car”.

I would have accepted responsibility for the situation I had put myself in.

Vintagejazz

Blondiescot

How is anyone being 'name called' on here - nobody knows anyone's real names? This is descending into farcical realms now. Was anyone in the group uncomfortable around dogs or allergic? That's a bit of an assumption to make.

In any group there's bound to be some people who are uncomfortable around dogs or don't like eating around them.

Not among any of my friends...

Pity there wasn’t one or two others who volunteered to eat outside with the OP.

Vintagejazz

RichmondPark1

she does sound rather miffed in a passive aggressive way

Ok, this is ridiculous.

I don't think it's ridiculous. The people in the group had 3 options:

1. All of them, even those uncomfortable around dogs, allergic to dogs or who had left their own dogs at home to sit out in the conservatory

2. Some of the group to sit out in the conservatory, thereby splitting the group in two,even though the plan was to all sit together and get to know each other

3. Stick to the original plan and let the OP deal with the dog situation

They chose option 3 and now are being criticised and name called on a public forum for doing so.

It's very unfair.

VintageJazz I believe you've misunderstood. I was quoting Lathyrus (21.12 yesterday) in the bold. I wasn't calling the OP ridiculous. Throughout this thread I've thought she asked a reasonable question without being demanding of her friends.

Lathyrus referred to her as passive aggressive.

Lathyrus said

"Next time I’ll take the car. I would have accepted responsibility for the situation I had put myself in."

The OP said this exactly what she would do next time in a post on Saturday afternoon. She has never not taken responsibility, merely asked a question.

Lathyrus said
"If people could put aside their emotions and look at the facts they would be able to see that the situation was entirely of the OPs making. She choose badly. "

We don't have to put aside our emotions, this is an opinion based discussion group.
The facts are that many people disagree with you.
We don't all have to agree.
We don't all have to agree with you.

I do think the way she posted her experience was passive aggressive.

It was phrased in a way to gain support, encourage criticism of her friends and justify her decision.

As I said a moment ago, the situation was of her own making. She could have posted under “I messed up a lunch I was looking forward to”.

But she didn’t see it that way. The tone was one of “My friends were at fault”.

Obviously though lots of people see it that way. The fact that a dog was involved seems to have stirred up a lot of emotions on both sides. But the facts of what happened were clear.

RichmondPark1

Lathyrus said
"If people could put aside their emotions and look at the facts they would be able to see that the situation was entirely of the OPs making. She choose badly. "

We don't have to put aside our emotions, this is an opinion based discussion group.
The facts are that many people disagree with you.
We don't all have to agree.
We don't all have to agree with you.

I don’t expect everyone to agree with me.

I’m just posting what I think.

Sometimes it’s helpful for people to be presented with a point of view that is not their own rather than just being encouraged to go on thinking in a certain way.

This happened to me and I went home, one friend offered to eat outside with me, but I felt a bit awkward about that and insisted she went inside with the others . Fast forward a few yrs and a couple in the group have a dog of their own and everyone rallies around them as they are popular and are inclusive of the dogs needs. I am afraid I do not socialise with them anymore, I find them rood and have found other groups where I feel more accepted.

That’s not true, Lathyrus, it wasn’t worded in such a way.

It was a very ‘matter of fact’ report of the situation, and totally devoid of emotive language.

It was certainly not ‘phrased in such a way to encourage criticism’ etc.

This thread has certainly taken in a life of its own

Were you in the group who ate in restaurant Lathyrus?