I arranged to go out for a countryside walk with a group of friends, some I know well, some I hardly know at all. We were supposed to walk for about an hour and finish up at an eating place for lunch.
Quite a nice cafe style place for lunch with three separate eating areas with same menu; outside area, inside conservatory and inside restaurant.
No dogs allowed in restaurant area but staff quite happy for dogs to stay with you in other areas.
Friends decided to eat in restaurant area even though they knew I couldn't bring my dog in with me.
What would you have done?
1. Tied dog up outside, where you couldn't see him and risk him, or you, getting anxious, and sit and eat with friends.
2. Eat on your own in another area.
3. Go home.
Just wonder what others think.
How thoughtless of the OP to expect everyone to do what she wanted.
3
How thoughtless of them all.
They didn’t exclude her. They just went to have lunch where they wanted to have lunch, which unfortunately was not where she wanted to have lunch.
Perhaps it was rude to expect the group to have lunch where she wanted?
I'd have gone home and wouldn't be going out with them again.
Granny rose - why didn’t you tell them that you wanted to go in the dog friendly area? If there’d been a discussion it might have been that some went with you in the dog friendly area and others in the non-dog area.
crazyH
They are not ‘friends’ - so , what did you do, grannyrose ?
If you read thread you will find the answer.
They are not ‘friends’ - so , what did you do, grannyrose ?
Lathyrus
No I’m not going to back down on this one.
It was the OPs decision to take her dog on the walk and to not take the car for him to be in for the meal. So she expected that others would fall in with her wish to have lunch in the Conservatory.
When they all wanted to have lunch in the restaurant she thought they were wrong not to do what she wanted.
They all wanted to eat in the restaurant together and that’s what they did. Why shouldn’t they?
Is it reasonable to expect other people to sacrifice their enjoyment to your wishes?
Why expect other people to
Because it was downright bloody rude of them to exclude her, that's why! There were alternative arrangements available where they could all have sat together and ate as a group. They wouldn't have had to 'sacrifice' anything. I would never have left a friend of mine to eat on her own. Some 'friends'...
I'd of bought a sandwich and sat in the park with my dog.
No I’m not going to back down on this one.
It was the OPs decision to take her dog on the walk and to not take the car for him to be in for the meal. So she expected that others would fall in with her wish to have lunch in the Conservatory.
When they all wanted to have lunch in the restaurant she thought they were wrong not to do what she wanted.
They all wanted to eat in the restaurant together and that’s what they did. Why shouldn’t they?
Is it reasonable to expect other people to sacrifice their enjoyment to your wishes?
Why expect other people to
No, as I said, I wouldn't have done that, but I might have felt a bit left out of things because someone had decided to bring a dog. I just wondered if there was more to the incident than we've been told, and if the OP has been on previous walks with dogs, why she thinks it happened. It's not something I can imagine many people doing, really.
I think if they were friends it’s was rude to leave just one person outside of the group to eat alone. Almost certainly the dog was the issue but I would forgo that once and say so !
I do not think I am an unkind person who would do this to someone, it’s almost childish and school playground behaviour to leave another out in this way.
No excuse Doodledog, it was rude and unkind of friends to behave that way. Basta!
As they knew that the dog was going to be there I think your friends were most unkind to you and in your circumstances I would have gone home too.
Have any of your friends contacted you since to talk about what happened?
It is lovely to know that there are lots of people on here who understand why I was a little upset by the situation.
I understand why you were upset, but wonder if you understand why some of your friends might have been upset too. Why do you think that they behaved as they did if it is normal to bring dogs to the walks?
No 3 for me but if you were there with a dog and I wasn't, you wouldn't have sat on your own. I would have sat with you. I think leaving someone out like that is unkind.
I am a dog owner and occasionally walk with friends. However I wouldn't take my dog unless I knew others were bringing theirs. Two friends don't like dogs others do. The op hasn't said if friends knew she was bringing dog. I would have come home but it sounds like the others had an issue with dog wagging along in first place.
GrannyRose15
To be clear.
I have walked with this group before with no problems regarding dogs, mine or anyone else's.
I am familiar with the place we were eating at and know they have a dog friendly area.
I did have the option of taking the car up to the meeting place before the walk where I could then have lodged the dog while we ate, but because I knew the cafe was "dog friendly" decided to walk from home.
If I walk with them again, and it's a big if, I will make sure either that I can eat with my dog, or take the car so he can be safe while I eat.
It's not as if no-one knows I have a dog, and as someone has pointed out - "Who goes for a walk in the countryside without their dog if they have one?"
It is lovely to know that there are lots of people on here who understand why I was a little upset by the situation.
With further information, of course they were wrong. I'm amazed those who "knew you" didn't offer to eat with you, at the very least. I'd not walk with them again, as I posted originally. Friends should be nice to each other.
I guess it depends whether the OP discussed bringing her dog beforehand, and checking that it was ok. Also checking whether it was a dog- friendly cafe. Was there a discussion about where to eat, taking the dog into consideration? Either beforehand or at the time? Did the OP point out that only the conservatory was suitable for her?
Not quite as straightforward as first thought.
Personally I am not keen on dogs in eating places, but I understand it matters to others.
I would either have gone home, if it wasn’t too far or eaten separately to make a point.
To be clear.
I have walked with this group before with no problems regarding dogs, mine or anyone else's.
I am familiar with the place we were eating at and know they have a dog friendly area.
I did have the option of taking the car up to the meeting place before the walk where I could then have lodged the dog while we ate, but because I knew the cafe was "dog friendly" decided to walk from home.
If I walk with them again, and it's a big if, I will make sure either that I can eat with my dog, or take the car so he can be safe while I eat.
It's not as if no-one knows I have a dog, and as someone has pointed out - "Who goes for a walk in the countryside without their dog if they have one?"
It is lovely to know that there are lots of people on here who understand why I was a little upset by the situation.
Did the group know that you were going to take your dog on the walk GrannyRose?
Zoejory
Dogs are much nicer than many humans
Absolutely!
I would have sat with you even if we had not met before, and I would be looking for some new friends
Definitely not Option One. I think we’re all agreed on that?
Just another view on dog walking, although different.
A friend and I walk together once a week. Occasionally, she brings her sprocker spaniel, about 18 months old, not very trained yet.
He tugs and pulls, panting and trying to race along. The walk is never very enjoyable if she brings him. I am glad when he is left at home.
(I digress from the OP, just saying dog walking is not always pleasant).
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