Dog friendly? What would you do?

To be clear.
I have walked with this group before with no problems regarding dogs, mine or anyone else's.
I am familiar with the place we were eating at and know they have a dog friendly area.
I did have the option of taking the car up to the meeting place before the walk where I could then have lodged the dog while we ate, but because I knew the cafe was "dog friendly" decided to walk from home.
If I walk with them again, and it's a big if, I will make sure either that I can eat with my dog, or take the car so he can be safe while I eat.
It's not as if no-one knows I have a dog, and as someone has pointed out - "Who goes for a walk in the countryside without their dog if they have one?"
It is lovely to know that there are lots of people on here who understand why I was a little upset by the situation.

I guess it depends whether the OP discussed bringing her dog beforehand, and checking that it was ok. Also checking whether it was a dog- friendly cafe. Was there a discussion about where to eat, taking the dog into consideration? Either beforehand or at the time? Did the OP point out that only the conservatory was suitable for her?
Not quite as straightforward as first thought.
Personally I am not keen on dogs in eating places, but I understand it matters to others.
I would either have gone home, if it wasn’t too far or eaten separately to make a point.

GrannyRose15

To be clear.
I have walked with this group before with no problems regarding dogs, mine or anyone else's.
I am familiar with the place we were eating at and know they have a dog friendly area.
I did have the option of taking the car up to the meeting place before the walk where I could then have lodged the dog while we ate, but because I knew the cafe was "dog friendly" decided to walk from home.
If I walk with them again, and it's a big if, I will make sure either that I can eat with my dog, or take the car so he can be safe while I eat.
It's not as if no-one knows I have a dog, and as someone has pointed out - "Who goes for a walk in the countryside without their dog if they have one?"
It is lovely to know that there are lots of people on here who understand why I was a little upset by the situation.

With further information, of course they were wrong. I'm amazed those who "knew you" didn't offer to eat with you, at the very least. I'd not walk with them again, as I posted originally. Friends should be nice to each other.

I am a dog owner and occasionally walk with friends. However I wouldn't take my dog unless I knew others were bringing theirs. Two friends don't like dogs others do. The op hasn't said if friends knew she was bringing dog. I would have come home but it sounds like the others had an issue with dog wagging along in first place.

No 3 for me but if you were there with a dog and I wasn't, you wouldn't have sat on your own. I would have sat with you. I think leaving someone out like that is unkind.

It is lovely to know that there are lots of people on here who understand why I was a little upset by the situation.

I understand why you were upset, but wonder if you understand why some of your friends might have been upset too. Why do you think that they behaved as they did if it is normal to bring dogs to the walks?

As they knew that the dog was going to be there I think your friends were most unkind to you and in your circumstances I would have gone home too.

Have any of your friends contacted you since to talk about what happened?

No excuse Doodledog, it was rude and unkind of friends to behave that way. Basta!

I think if they were friends it’s was rude to leave just one person outside of the group to eat alone. Almost certainly the dog was the issue but I would forgo that once and say so !
I do not think I am an unkind person who would do this to someone, it’s almost childish and school playground behaviour to leave another out in this way.

No, as I said, I wouldn't have done that, but I might have felt a bit left out of things because someone had decided to bring a dog. I just wondered if there was more to the incident than we've been told, and if the OP has been on previous walks with dogs, why she thinks it happened. It's not something I can imagine many people doing, really.

No I’m not going to back down on this one.

It was the OPs decision to take her dog on the walk and to not take the car for him to be in for the meal. So she expected that others would fall in with her wish to have lunch in the Conservatory.

When they all wanted to have lunch in the restaurant she thought they were wrong not to do what she wanted.

They all wanted to eat in the restaurant together and that’s what they did. Why shouldn’t they?

Is it reasonable to expect other people to sacrifice their enjoyment to your wishes?

Why expect other people to

I'd of bought a sandwich and sat in the park with my dog.

Lathyrus

No I’m not going to back down on this one.

It was the OPs decision to take her dog on the walk and to not take the car for him to be in for the meal. So she expected that others would fall in with her wish to have lunch in the Conservatory.

When they all wanted to have lunch in the restaurant she thought they were wrong not to do what she wanted.

They all wanted to eat in the restaurant together and that’s what they did. Why shouldn’t they?

Is it reasonable to expect other people to sacrifice their enjoyment to your wishes?

Why expect other people to

Because it was downright bloody rude of them to exclude her, that's why! There were alternative arrangements available where they could all have sat together and ate as a group. They wouldn't have had to 'sacrifice' anything. I would never have left a friend of mine to eat on her own. Some 'friends'...

They are not ‘friends’ - so , what did you do, grannyrose ?

crazyH

They are not ‘friends’ - so , what did you do, grannyrose ?

If you read thread you will find the answer.

Granny rose - why didn’t you tell them that you wanted to go in the dog friendly area? If there’d been a discussion it might have been that some went with you in the dog friendly area and others in the non-dog area.

I'd have gone home and wouldn't be going out with them again.

They didn’t exclude her. They just went to have lunch where they wanted to have lunch, which unfortunately was not where she wanted to have lunch.

Perhaps it was rude to expect the group to have lunch where she wanted?

3

How thoughtless of them all.

How thoughtless of the OP to expect everyone to do what she wanted.

It's not what she wanted though is it Lathyrus. The group arranged to go out to have lunch together. That's what they were all expecting. The cafe's restrictions allowed them all to sit together in the dog friendly area and the rest of the group left the OP alone. What an odd thing to do? If one of a party isn't allowed in an area nothing would possess me to let them eat alone.

Ladyleftfieldlover

Granny rose - why didn’t you tell them that you wanted to go in the dog friendly area? If there’d been a discussion it might have been that some went with you in the dog friendly area and others in the non-dog area.

Sounds like a reasonable compromise- keeping both friends and mutt happy!

Yes she wanted to eat where she could have her dog with her.

They wanted to eat in the restaurant.

They both couldn’t have what they wanted.

So the OP wanted them to give up the restaurant meal so that she could have what she wanted.
She expected the group to do what she wanted, right from the moment she decided not to take the car.

Without discussion or consultation with anybody in the group.

Nobody likes to be railroaded with “You won’t do what I want. You’ve upset me now”

Blondiescot

Lathyrus

No I’m not going to back down on this one.

It was the OPs decision to take her dog on the walk and to not take the car for him to be in for the meal. So she expected that others would fall in with her wish to have lunch in the Conservatory.

When they all wanted to have lunch in the restaurant she thought they were wrong not to do what she wanted.

They all wanted to eat in the restaurant together and that’s what they did. Why shouldn’t they?

Is it reasonable to expect other people to sacrifice their enjoyment to your wishes?

Why expect other people to

Because it was downright bloody rude of them to exclude her, that's why! There were alternative arrangements available where they could all have sat together and ate as a group. They wouldn't have had to 'sacrifice' anything. I would never have left a friend of mine to eat on her own. Some 'friends'...

Couldn’t agree more, downright bloody rude it was.