Just got round to looking on line this am and so have read all the posts, and pleased to see that it is sorted, which is good news. Long time friendship is worth more than one argument. My only comment I would add is that I would always go in person and speak to them. I have taught TESOL and english is such a wonderful complicated language that you can say one sentence, but the tone of voice, body language and eye contact tell you so much more than just the bare words. I know younger people live all their lives on their phone, but it is very easy for you to type a sentence which, in your head sounds a reasonable request. However the reader may take it quite another way and without context totally misread the whole thing. I would always want to see the person face to face for incidents that could be misconstrued, and if not possible to visit their homes would suggest meeting for coffee somewhere, where you could choose a more private area to sit in and then you could judge when and how to bring up the subject. The other thing is speed. The sooner you can deal with the problem the better. Reliving incidents , they can become more of a problem than they were actually or you can all misremember what actually happened. The longer it goes on the more difficult to keep it in proportion. My husband and I lived by the old maxim of never going to bed without making up any argument. The great thing was that if you have got in a situation where it is difficult to get out of it, sleeping in the same bed meant that either one of us could reach out and touch the other persons arm or hand and that was enough. We did not have to go through the topic again and might still retain the same attitude about a subject , but our relationship was much more important than any disagreement and that physical touching allowed you to remove that subject and not brood over it. So pleased for you that it was all sorted. Here the weather is grey but the leaves are falling and it is lovely autumn colours of gold and brown on the ground. Meeting for an autumn walk is also useful so you are not face to face but walking side by side and it is often easier to apologise or discuss some difficult area when you are moving and hot on a confrontational position opposite each other.
