Is this a generation thing or a personality thing?

I hate it when people drop out of things at the eleventh hour, especially as I have MS and could wake up temporarily blind, deaf, unable to walk, etc and have never pulled out of anything at the eleventh hour even though everyone understands that I could possibly need to based on the disability.
My partner is constantly dropping out of things with little or no notice and it drives me round the twist.

Personality I think. I love to have clear days, now I’m retired, where I can what I want.

But I’m a lifelong fan of planning things properly and considering things fully in the planning.

I'm the casual one in our family, my AC are much more organised than me. I will agree that there isn't a lot of communication though. I usually have to check a couple of times to check that we've made the arrangements I thought we had.

I think its just too easy now to contact each other so the pressure to be at a particular place at a particular time is less. My kids never worry about meeting friends at a venue for a certain time and if others have moved on somewhere else they just message each other to update. They
will make efforts to arrive a few minutes before time if its a set appointment though. Friends my age tend to say where, when we are meeting but I confess there are quite a few friends who need to be told to arrive 30 mins before the actual time just to make sure they are not late! So I think its more to do with personality than generational. I am one of those who is there much earlier than I need to be and really fret if circumstances mean I am only just going to make it on time or even worse late.

I think its generational, I'm really disorganised & not a planner, but I feel compelled to keep commitments & appointments & to be punctual. I think my life is much busier than my mum & dad's life & doing things when they are originally arranged is the only way I can cope. If something gets re-scheduled, I probably wont remember /find time to do it - I need to make an effort & stick to the arrangement first time round. My AC seem to be much better at re-scheduling & fine-tuning things to suit them.

I am like you Nanamar. I get really annoyed if people cancel without give me at least a few days warning. The worst is if they just don't come at all or cancel at the last minute when all preparations have been done. I just don't invite them again if it's some trivial reason.

Nanamar. Yep. Been there with the printer thing. Last minute dash to us to get tickets printed because their printers run out of ink. But if they printed in advance they wouldn't remember where they put the tickets. Wouldn't mind, but they've both got good jobs, which require good organisational skills, which they seem to be good at.

I am a stickler for punctuality and abhor people who are late for anything. Unless they have a good reason.

If I’ve made an arrangement to meet someone I jolly well go and make sure I’m there, usually with lots of time to spare.

My daughter is the opposite of me. Unfortunately!,

Definitely not generational two out of three of my adult children are very organised much more than me third one is a bit scatty although fairly good with time and her children are a bit scatty too although everything always turns out right one other grandchild is extremely well organised and always a step ahead of everyone else
It’s purely down to personality

I have a DiL who drives me mad with her being late for most events no matter how important, so disorganised its hard to tell what she is doing or intending to do. The amount of time she wastes and other people's due to her "oh it will be alright " approach to everything. Cancellations at last minute not uncommon either usually due to something that interests her more cropping up. I never count on her being anywhere on time and surprised if areangements aren't changed at last minute. Her father is the same, even having been a secondary school teacher. I consider it lack of respect, not a generational thing but a personality trait although being able to cancel, offer apology by text makes it very easy and a generational thing.

Hopefully, when you've reached your sixties, you live your life for yourself and not for everyone else.

Scottiebear, I think you make a good point! What I find interesting is how different family members are from one another. My late DH and I were always on time if not early and always prepared. DS did not follow our example. I recall our amusement and frustration with him on one occasion trying to print out tickets to an event about five minutes before we needed to leave, having the printer go down, having to borrow roommate’s printer, etc. I find that scurrying around very stressful! It is ironic, by the way, that DDIL found out that four of the five friends who made the trip to Vegas did indeed contract COVID. Fortunately the birthday celebrant didn’t. But of course now DDIL feels justified about pulling out!

I feel the same way about my son and DIL. Everything is last minute. Plans are often hazy. They are disorganised. They forget where they put things. Son is regularly sure he's told us something that he clearly hadn't. But they are both lovely, so we forgive.
I blame technology. We had to plan arrangements, as we didn't have mobiles to text updates or have group chats. We had to phone hotels or restaurants to book to make sure we could get a table, whereas they just Google. We had to tediously check train times on phone, whereas they are a few last minute taps away on a keyboard. We had to make time to go to bank, but now we just fire up the internet. What I can't figure out is why, when they are able to save so much time with the tedious routine stuff compared to when we were their ages, they never seem to have enough hours in the day!

One of my DD’s doesn’t check messages. It can be very inconvenient. I have to text the DGC’s to ask them to advise mum of messages.

I'm sure it is a personality thing. I have two daughters; one plans ahead and the other leaves everything to the last minute. However, the good planner often arrives late, the other daughter is generally punctual. It annoys my DH, who needs to plan everything way ahead and then has to leave before the agreed time!

I'm fed up of people doing this to us - making arrangements for visits then crying off at the last minute. My friend has done this loads of times. Arranging for us to visit then texting me an hour or two before to cancel. I won't do it anymore. My hubby's two sisters and family arranged to visit us (they live 50 miles away) so I bought the food for a buffet for 6 of us but just as I was starting to prepare the food they rang to cancel. I wasn't best pleased so his brother who also lives near his sisters and texts my hubby everyday came with his wife and daughter and enjoyed the food. His brother is not without guilt either. We had arranged to go over after they came back off holiday so he said he would let us know later in the week. We never went as he let us know a night or two before that she was ill. We would rearrange for another weekend. A couple of weeks later he said come next weekend he would let us know later in the week. He didn't say anything all week and texted the night before to see if we were still coming the next day so we said no. We are fed up of people doing this to us so now we play people at their own game.

Definitely personality (and ethical) for me. My diary is my lifeline. My word is my bond. I would never be either late or absent from an appointment other than in extreme emergency. And I mean extreme. Thankfully latter has never been tested.

Personality I think.Friend who is always late and sometimes forgetful rang this morning. Very ill, could I take her to a and e?
Said she would be ready in 30 mins as not dressed but after an hour I rang and she was still not ready.
I imagined her collapsed on the floor but half an hour later she was ready.
Came out dressed to the nines and made up.Told her to get a taxi home.

I thought it was to do with mobile phones. In my day (awful phrase) we couldn't cry off or change plans at the last minute, because there were no mobiles. On the whole, we made plans and stuck to them.

Neither was late for work btw. Interesting.

I wonder if it's congenital?
My MIL and my youngest DC are very similar.
It's an irritating trait, lateness.

Personality I think. I know people from all generations who are planners and punctual and also who are not.

Norah I think you have undestood the question the same way as other people. All people are different, there are many ways of being punctual and reliable - and unpunctual and unreliable. But it is a personal thing not a generational thing

I must have misunderstood the question.

I think the planning bit is personality. I'm not a planner. I'm always on time. I'm never early. I do what is needed. I attend what I must.

I don't make commitments for arrangements I can't keep, I merely refuse at the asking because I am reliable and feel responsible to what I accept.

I'm a hermit with dogs and a family.

Shouldn't admit it but my late MIL was exactly the same. It was even mentioned in her funeral eulogy. Someone had tipped the vicar off. It was said that DH was on time for once after making the late grand exit all her life.