Sounds like one of those bombastic entitled rather ignorant men who think their nasty views are of interest to others. You’ll find someone better.
What do you find yourself avoiding more as you get older?
A few months ago I had some work done on my house. I was very pleased with the result and the workmanship was excellent. However, the tradesman was an out and out racist. He blames "foreigners" for everything that is wrong with the country - unaware that I was married to a "foreigner" for over 40 years. I told him I disagreed with his views and didn't want to discuss it with him - but that didn't stop him!
I now want to have more work done and have been asking around for recommendations, unfortunately, everyone recommends this man. They all agree with me about his views but mainly deal with it by remaining in a different room.
1. I don't want to have to hide away in my own home and
2. I am reluctant to give work to someone whose views I find so obnoxious
So, should I employ him for the quality of his work and try to ignore his comments or employ someone else and risk having inferior work done
Sounds like one of those bombastic entitled rather ignorant men who think their nasty views are of interest to others. You’ll find someone better.
Don't even think about putting money in his pocket or having him in your house again. I'd rather pay double, even though money is tight, than give my money to a vile racist. I changed hairdressers for the same reason. The one I had been using and was happy with had a rant on Facebook about closing the borders. She lost my custom immediately.
Thing is you dont know if other workmen arent going to be same or not either?
Bottom line is tradesmen workmen contractors whatever none of those should be discussing their own personal views at all- so you should not have this dilemma really.They are there to do a job not have chats to air their views, probably why other folk have just left him to get on with it and gone elsewhere- its not 'hiding in your own home' - if youre paying someone to do a job then let them in, say whats required(if youve not already discussed it) and remove yourself to leave them to do it.Then despite their best attempts, they cant say much if there is no one there to listen can they?Something to bear in mind next time you pay someone to do a job.Might make it cost less too as takes less time.🤔
I agree with Biglouis. It is not a social event. Why are you engaging in social conversation? Get him started on the job and leave him alone to do it.
I spoke to my nephew about this as he goes into people's homes and offices to fix their computers. He says that he hates it when people hover, ask lots of questions, and otherwise distract him. He would much prefer that they went into another room, watched TV, or got on with some job of their own. Like me he has strong views on some subjects but never discusses them with clients.
When a trade comes to your home to work you are there to "manage" them. Give them their instructions about what you want then to do then leave them to get on with the job. This is the only interaction you need, unless they want/require some information from you regarding the task.
If its a long job the best plan is to leave them a tray with kettle/tea/coffee/biscuits/etc and let them get on with it. They will take a break according to their own schedule. Tradespeople here usually bring a packed lunch or nip out to a local coffee shop. You dont have to wait on them or entertain them with social chat.
This may have been covered already - in which case - apologies. I suspect gender plays a part here.
Generalising like hell, here :
Opinionated males tend to assume any female(s) - whether potential dates, passing strangers, life partners or customers - will be willing to listen to whatever horsefeathers that they give vent to. Nay, these females have been longing to hear their verbal sewage.
I asked an upholsterer to leave when he started ranting on about some blankety blankety blank of a female dog of a customer.
To my shame, I didn't tell him why. . . but he didn't ask. One reason I didn't ask is that he'd started to tell me what he should have done to the customer. He knew where I lived.
I have neighbours one of whom is absolutely great but who is married to someone who will try to turn 'how are you?' into an excuse for some kind of anti-wokery rant.
Interesting how some people assume that Wadesnan engaged in social conversation . Over the years I’ve had various workers who I just start talking to me about everyday or family matters. My DH used to find it amusing how much people would tell me. I once found myself in a slightly similar position to you Wadesnan fortunately it was a garage and so I didn’t return. Took a few years but eventually they closed as word spread about a pan alternative garage tucked away from the main road, that was far superior in many ways.
You can also find tradespeople through your local Green Party and guarantee that they won't be racist.
If you do employ him, he obviously feels comfortable to share his views with you, maybe try mentioning early on that you have 'foreigners' who are part of your close family and really lovely, and loved by you. Do this in a friendly way so you don't make him feel challenged. It might get him to think about what he's saying, which is probably an unexamined knee-jerk bias. If he isn't courteous about it ask him to leave and don't pay him. There has been some suggestion that people are less inclined to act in a racist way of they are face to face with the 'foreigner' and experience them as normal and non-threatening person with real feelings instead of some disembodied idea. Think the reference is LaPierre, but sorry, no link, as it was over 40 years ago that I did my psych degree.
Personally, if I looked and genuinely couldn’t find any one different I’d use him and the very first time he starts to make any discriminative remarks I’d simply ask him to stop, telling him you find him insulting and offensive and whilst you respect his opinions you do not have to listen to them !! Good luck
I would have no problem not employing this racist and would happily NOT recommend him
madmum38
Have you a local nextdoor group you can join? There will be tradesmen advertising but you could ask a wider range of people for recommendations, ours always have people that have had work done and only to willing to pass on their thoughts.
They are nice groups just for community chit chat as well.
Good luck
I would go with going on the Nextdoor website for recommendations.
You might find his name.come up in the recommendations but you should get some other names as well.
I have used this site a lot it’s very helpful.
I'm sorry but no contest I'm afraid, I'd have told him stop work, paid him and told him to go and never return. I would also put a review on check a trade or whatever organisation he belongs to. If not put a comment on your local Next Door app if you have one. The world is a very sad place at the moment and we can do without ignorant people like him making people feel worse.
Cossy
Personally, if I looked and genuinely couldn’t find any one different I’d use him and the very first time he starts to make any discriminative remarks I’d simply ask him to stop, telling him you find him insulting and offensive and whilst you respect his opinions you do not have to listen to them !! Good luck
OP does say that she asked him to stop and he didn't. That, to my mind makes him unsafe. And it doesn't sound as if she invited his opinions!
Also, It depends on the set-up at your home and the job as to whether you need to be around or not. We have an open-plan kitchen / dining / living room. I don't waste time chopsing, but might, if making a cup of tea, make polite small talk for a minute or so.
I would not have that tradesman back in my house, I'm very anti racist. Look for someone else, there are plenty of other professional tradesmen out there that wouldn't dream of talking about others in that manner. It's disgusting. Good luck in your finding someone else, I'm sure they will do an excellent job too without running down half the Country.
I'd not have him in my home.
Forsythia
I went with checkatrader ... person I employed to do work had fantastic reviews ... mainly 10's I went with him ... his work was atrocious had to come back still not right ... may I add not saying all are bad ... personally try to go with personal recommendation
Too polite for our own good…. ‘….say whilst you respect his opinions you do not….’ would anyone say the same thing if he was being sexist?
There must surely be other just as good tradespeople in the area. Does your Council have a Trusted Trader list? They are checked for work and character. Or the Check a Trade type sites. Three quotes and who you feel comfortable with are essential.
I follow my principles and can live with myself. Years ago I worked for an airline and could have have a cheap trip to south africa and longed to go down the garden route, but apartheid meant that I would not allow myself to visit then. I refuse to bank with Barclays, because of their historic connections to south africa, and to this day, more than 40 years later, refuse to use them even though their bank is the closest in distance for me. Of course I was sad that I could not visit but had left the airline before Mandela was released etc. So I stick to my principles and would not tolerate such attitudes in my house. I dont approve of such atitudes, and whilst he may say what he pleases in his own home I would never allow such views to be expressed in my home. I need to stick up for my views, and if he was the best workman in the county still would not have him .There is no way I could say I am anti-racist , but I want a cheaper or better job and so will ignore the principles for this time until the job is finished. I would feel that my house had been contaminated by allowing such behaviour to continue.
Do you have some good trusted friends/social circle where you could just ask about workmen they have had in mentioning your concerns? Where I live everything is done by word of mouth as the community is small. We may have to wait for months to get a job done but you know it will be good because they come personally recommended.
You could try telling him that it’s ok for him to believe what he believes, it is NOT ok, however, for him to insist that every one else believes the same. Unless he is challenged he will carry on inflicting his racist beliefs on everyone else
Bravo, Madeleine , very well said 👏👏👏
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