Self care and self neglect

Rosie Goodness me you have done SO well. If I can reassure you at all I will try. I am completely bald. (That was hard for me to type). I totally understand why you 'dread getting balder'. I am there. But you will find a solution. You will. It's has been difficult for me but not as difficult as it has been for you as you have been ill. You are doing great.

It always seems like it would be fun to wear wigs in different styles and colours, but it's really not, when you know how it look underneath, or that its itchy, sweaty, or about to slip off.

Kate1949

I'm sure it isn't Rosie. You are right. Male pattern baldness us 'bloody horrible'. I have spent the last few years apologising for crying, not wanting to be on photos, go on holiday, go to parties, weddings. Also listening to people saying 'well at least you're not ill' or as one woman said to me 'for goodness sake it's only hair.' Well it is but hers was lovely and thick.
.

Thanks all. The insensitivity of the unaffected can be the worst to bear. Goodness I cry every time I wash and dry my hair, which is why it's only twice a week. My hair was so thick hairdressers always, but always commented, and often complained, about the thickness. I longed for thinner hair. Be careful what you wish for, you might just get it! Actually if what I've got was evenly distributed it would be thin but Okish, but all at the nape of my neck doesn't work. Can't get on with wigs, although I really persevered during the last lot of chemo. Dreading getting balder, but hey ho keep getting reminders from the unaffected, just remember how lucky I am, not everybody survives.

I'm going through a tough time just now, relationship issues, and definitely aware of self neglect. Eating properly is just not on my agenda because sometimes my stomach is so tied in knots I just can't eat. Or else I do eat and then suffer for it and have bought my first ever indigestion remedy. Prior to this I would say I had a cast iron stomach. I do like breakfast though and my usual, fruit, greek yoghurt and granola never upsets me.
I can't remember when I last used nail varnish though i did spend some time pampering my feet the other day.
I do also make myself spend time in the evenings on my crocheting while i watch some lighthearted tv. I can't seem to concentrate on anything too demanding just now.
In some respect I know I am neglecting myself just now but I also know that I'll come through this patch and I'll feel better.

My hair is still thick and down to my waist. Washing it is a chore so I often feel like shaving it off and wearing a wig (of which I have many for my vintage accessories business). I like to shower twice a day. To me self care is doing what I want to do when I want to do it. So I eat when Im hungry and go to bed when I feel tired and dont answer to anyone elses schedule if I can help it.

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I've used the spray on fibres for thinning hair, called Topix, and it was pretty good.

I'm sure it isn't Rosie. You are right. Male pattern baldness us 'bloody horrible'. I have spent the last few years apologising for crying, not wanting to be on photos, go on holiday, go to parties, weddings. Also listening to people saying 'well at least you're not ill' or as one woman said to me 'for goodness sake it's only hair.' Well it is but hers was lovely and thick.
.

One of them is called ‘Boost and Blend’, but that’s not the one I used - can’t remember the name. I suppose there are more than one brand. Try Googling ‘hair fibre spray’. Wish you all the best.
Rosie - glad you’re doing well

Kate1949

Thank you crazyH. I know about the spray. No good if you have no hair like me but great for patches I believe.

My hair didn't come back properly after the last cancer chemo. Yes I know I have to be grateful I'm still alive but we are judged on appearance and what looks exactly like advanced male pattern baldness is bloody horrible. I do try a hairstyle camouflage but to be honest it's really worse than Bobbie Charlton's famous (infamous?) comb-over lol

Lucca. I know about the spray but haven't used them. I believe they are fibres. I think there is one called Topik or similar.

I know exactly what you mean by self-neglect Violet sky. When I'm portioning out food I always serve myself any dry bits & give the others extra sauce or yummy bits.I do like wearing cotton /linen shirts so need to iron those, but most things I will iron for the others but shake'n fold for mine. Self care- when I'm really tired I will stop although there's still a million things to do, & sit in the garden or play fetch with the dog or read a few pages before getting back to it.

Its not whinging to share a sorrow that none of us would feel too good about Kate.

Its indeed the little things, trying to find the joy in the little things in the turmoil of life around us. Feeling we have a right to happiness. Yes, hobbies, interests, friends if we are able. Self care, yes, even when life doesn't seem to make a lot of sense. Cultivate the time not just to "observe the lilies" ....but take pleasure in them

I dont know why but this poem is leaping into my mind.
www.desiderata.com/desiderata.html

yes Violet these things do add up. Somehow as the trials and tribulations come we still have to try...and sometimes even succeed!

Kate1949

Thank you crazyH. I know about the spray. No good if you have no hair like me but great for patches I believe.

Any good for post chemo hair. Mine is growing back but the fringe bit is still way too short ?
What is it called ?

For self care I keep very active with netball, golf, walking, look after my skin, my diet etc. I don't know that I care for my own mental health well enough. I could benefit from some councelling but the expense puts me off.

Thank you crazyH. I know about the spray. No good if you have no hair like me but great for patches I believe.

Thanks CrazyH that might be good around my temples

Nandad, Kate, VS
A couple of years ago I suffered from Alopaecia….several bald patches. I bought a kind of spray which filled in the patches. I don’t know if that will be of any help for you.
My hair grew back eventually, but now, due to the ageing process, it’s thinning and I might order a can again.

O think self neglect is treating yourself in any way as having less value than others.

I've had mental health wobbles all my life and so sometimes it's small things and sometimes big things

In the pursuit of happiness and good physical and mental health (or as good as it can be if like me you have long term health issues) little things add up

To me self-neglect is when you start washing/showering less frequently, wear dirty, stained clothes, don't eat proper meals etc. I realise it would be easy to slip into poor habits as one gets older.

I'm very good at the self neglect part - not so good when it comes to self care. It just never seems to be a priority for me. Oh, and I genuinely can't remember the last time I ever ironed anything!

Self care to me is eating well, getting plenty of sleep and a walk in the fresh air every day. If I can keep that up as well as my hobbies and seeing family and friends I feel I will be fine.

I’m a little confused about the concept. I consider ironing as housework, but the basic “self care” I do is showering, cleaning my teeth, washing my hair and visiting the hair dresser occasionally.
Is self care what is referred to a “pampering”. If so I don’t do that stuff?

Thank you VioletSky. I won't make this thread about me again. I don't feel remotely beautiful but you're very kind.

Kate if it helps in any way my hair is also now very thin. It hasn't recovered after thyroid issues. I've cried over my hairbrush many times and the problem is getting worse. I've had to cut so much off the length and when the end of my pony tail becomes thinner and thinner it is a bit soul destroying. My only saving grace is that it's curly enough to hide it a little

You are still beautiful and you deserve to love yourself