I sent a cheery email to a friend in Canada yesterday updating them on what we were up to, our plans, and asking after them.
Today I received a reply full of booster shots, blood pressure and medication reports. Not a word about anything else.
If they were elderly with nothing else going on in their lives I would be more understanding but he is still of working age.
Do you get correspondence like this?
Is it hypochondria, self absorption or what?
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Hypochondriac?
(46 Posts)Could be, or could be he doesn't feel very well at the moment.
Sometimes life is just full of medical issues and your cheery email full of lovely plans may have made him feel worse! If he has some serious problems it’s hard t think of anything else.
Although I’d have just said how nice the plans sounded, too.
If it isn't his usual response then maybe he's feeling unwell, is worried about it and took the opportunity to share his concerns.
You say he's of working age so perhaps he's concerned that health issues may impact on that.
I have a friend of the same age as me who loves telling me about all the tablets she’s on!
I would be mortified…but count myself very lucky so far!
Yes, you are possibly right but he's off to the sunshine for three months next year and our plans involve meeting up as usual.
Sounds like a complete personality change.
I will respond and delve deeper.
I have a similar friend. However, I can't talk as I am a complete hypochondriac but don't inflict it on others except for my poor long suffering husband.
I used to believe my BF is a hypochondriac - the obsession with her health contributed significantly to the end of her second marriage and sometimes our meetings are completely taken up by it. She texts me most mornings to report her latest symptoms and keeps a daily diary which she discusses with the Practice Nurse most weeks! However, my DDs think it’s more like Munchausens, where she inflates any minor problem into a full blown disease. At the moment it’s acid reflux, but she tells everyone she has Barrett’s Oesophagus. When she moved house, I hoped her new GP would ‘see’ the real problem, but apparently not and she gets sent for multiple hospital tests, all of which prove ‘inconclusive’ or ‘unremarkable’. She’s a lovely person, newly retired and happy with her life, but the health thing is so frustrating for those around her.
Sorry to derail the thread.
What a bore hypochondriacs are! It’s bad manners to go on about our health concerns socially.
My mother in later years went out every day to her local shopping ‘mall’ to be under cover and see some life. She told me that if she got into a conversation with someone who started on their health matters, operations, bad leg etc, she was up and away.
Yes, we can be sympathetic to really serious concerns, but people need to keep some things to themselves.
Hypochondria is actually an illness in itself!
It must be hideous to always think there is something
wrong with yourself, I hope I would have sympathy
for some one who is constantly worrying about their
health.
I have a friend who is never happier than when she has a string of hospital appointments, she actually manages to see her Doctor face to face , I can tell when she has a new ailment from her voice on the phone , there is a real lift to it !
It’s getting to the stage where I avoid her
You are right Nannylovesshopping. Nobody wants to be like this. They are scared.
I am always surprised to receive Christmas cards with graphic updates on people's health.
Most of us have concerns about our health, particularly as we age, but we don't find it necessary to dominate conversation with regular accounts of usually imaginary symptoms.
I think it is more attention-seeking than genuine fear; these people are rarely, if ever, seriously ill.
I understand what you are saying eazybee. However, it's certainly not attention seeking with me. It's a mental health problem.
Esspee
Yes, you are possibly right but he's off to the sunshine for three months next year and our plans involve meeting up as usual.
Sounds like a complete personality change.
I will respond and delve deeper.
I see Espee. It sounds like he might be overly concerned. Maybe you'll be able to help when you meet up.
Maybe it’s health anxiety, which can be very debilitating. It’s had more prominence since the pandemic, when so many people were very frightened by what was happening.
In the first few months following my brain injury I had what was almost a compulsion to talk about it. My life changed profoundly and I struggled to understand and come to terms with it. I’m sure my friends and relatives got fed up of listening to me banging on about it, but fortunately they listened and I eventually got over the phase. I also started worrying that any slight symptom was a sign of something serious.
I so agree that hypochondria/Munchausens is an illness in itself, which is why I genuinely hoped that when my friend moved and changed GP‘s, that this condition would be picked up. Apparently not, and she continues to contact him for painkillers and eyedrops that could easily be bought over the counter, as well as POMs that she tries for a few days, Googles, then demands further action. Her ex-husband said it was attention seeking, and thought that as she was the youngest of four, she had perhaps been almost overlooked.
Does it make sense to say that if your life has been quite traumatic you are constantly waiting for the next trauma? That's me anyway.
Kate1949
Does it make sense to say that if your life has been quite traumatic you are constantly waiting for the next trauma? That's me anyway.
Yes, it’s called catastrophising.
After a childhood with a violent father, not knowing what would happen next, I have suffered from this. The plane will crash, so will the car etc.
I don’t think there is a connection with hypochondria however.
My (now dearly departed) parents used to go on coach trips to various places for long weekends and the one thing that used to amuse them was the game of "one upmanship" of their fellow travellers as to how many tablets they took each day and what the tablets were for.
eazybee
I am always surprised to receive Christmas cards with graphic updates on people's health.
Most of us have concerns about our health, particularly as we age, but we don't find it necessary to dominate conversation with regular accounts of usually imaginary symptoms.
I think it is more attention-seeking than genuine fear; these people are rarely, if ever, seriously ill.
I agree, but I cannot deny that a great amount of people apparently do find their health or that of others a fascinating topic of conversation,
The reasons can be many and various, as already noted.
When button-holed by one of the breed who can only talk about one topic, I tend to say, "That must be hard for you." or "Yes, there are a shocking number of sad things going on. That's why I don't read newspapers any more" as applicable and walk away.
I rarely receive Christmas cards in the form of a medical journal,or a critique on the state of the nation, perhaps as a result of these tactics
Both my MIL and FIL were hypochondriacs. We used to laugh every week when their sole topic of conversation was how ill they were or which friends had had an operation. My MIL lived to be 100, FIL to 101.
^Hypochondria is actually an illness in itself!
It must be hideous to always think there is something
wrong with yourself, I hope I would have sympathy
for some one who is constantly worrying about their
health.^
I agree! In fact the term ‘hypochondria’ is rarely used (particularly in a clinical setting) because of its ‘negative’ connotations. People who exhibit such behaviour are probably suffering from health anxiety. And I use the word ‘suffering’ specifically here because health anxiety is a terrible illness. Like any mental health issue, it’s not a behavioural ‘choice’ and IMO it’s extremely unkind to dismiss it as such. To the original poster I say this, if your friend had broken his leg, was in plaster and in terrible pain, would you consider him a ‘hypochondriac’ or ‘self absorbed’? Just because an illness isn’t visible doesn’t mean it’s any less serious.
My ex mum in law goes on at length about their health troubles (her & hubbys) whenever we ring so grandson can speak to them- (they dont live near us) and more recent his own dad to has had 'tests' for something that he never seems to determine what it is- i find it all a bit galling when they know myself and my sons all have had medical issues & disabilities of our own for years- their own grandson was born extremely early and so has had hospital tests & regular visits with numerous consultants etc over the years and hes still struggling and coping with it all- yet they act like theyre the only ones who have ever had anything wrong with them- and never even ask my son how HIS health is or how HE is doing🤨I try to sympathise with them but i can see why my son doesnt really want to phone them anymore.
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