Feeling out of step?

Better to walk alone than with a crowd going in the wrong direction

MrsKen33

Who are we supposed to be in step with anyway? Who is the arbiter of taste that we all should aspire too?

Ha, ha - indeed!!

I gave up celebrating christmas in 1979.

I never wanted any children - could not see the point of them. A computer is more use to me than a child hanging on my skirts. It doesnt argue back and I dont have to change its shitty nappy.

biglouis

I gave up celebrating christmas in 1979.

I never wanted any children - could not see the point of them. A computer is more use to me than a child hanging on my skirts. It doesnt argue back and I dont have to change its shitty nappy.

Flipping eck what a misery!
Were you never a child yourself?
Good luck with your computer - who says they don't answer back anyway?

What I meant was the GN " majority" who so often seem to chip in with agreement whether it's Joules, or M&S or Strictly or carols in supermarkets, or advent calendars with beauty products whatever- I just wanted to beg to differ!

I've often thought there are lots of generalisations on here but then I suppose that's normal. For instance -

What was your first car? I've never had one.
When did you learn to drive? I didn't.

More that don't spring to mind.

All the posts about hair in the pandemic. I have none. Yes I know I'm in a minority.

Theoddbird

I am unique and proud of it....an ancient hippy who lives peacefully and quietly on my narrow boat home with my two cats. I don't have central heating and my clothes are mostly preloved. I forage for logs that I cut and split. My diet is mainly plant based...not eaten fish or meat since my late 20s. I talk to my friends...the geese, ducks and swans daily...and yes they answer back...hahaha I read posts from gransnet that are emailed to me....they amuse me.

Brilliant!
Yes you certainly are unique 👍

I have always been out of step. Even my own mother has said that I have been eccentric since the day I was born! I love Seasalt but have never worn Joules because their designs tend to be very boxy and don’t suit my (very) pear shaped body. They look great on others, though. I still have some Hotter shoes but like my vintage Red or Dead Wizzy shoes best.

Well done Theodbird Keep up the good work.

Farzanah

I would hate to fit in.
What I do find tricky as a grandparent is listening other doting gp’s. I love my family, but am not as embroiled in their lives as others seem to be. We have our own lives and interests and meet up every few months when we are all free.

Yes.... agree absolutely It frees me from a lot of Angst

Thank you hollysteers and MrsKen3....

I cannot say 'I would hate to fit in' beause never having experienced it, I cannot make comparisons.

Unlike musicgirl the phrases i heard at home - and at school -, and to be fair to my mother, always said in exasperation when we differed was, 'I sometimes think you are awkward, just for the sake of it' Of course there was always a small element of that

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

As for ‘frumpy’, it is often the case that individuals make themselves look frumpy because they follow fashion whether it suits them or not. At a recent book group meeting I noticed that a good half of the women were wearing a version of a mustard yellow top or jumper. I couldn’t work out why older ladies would don such an unflattering colour until I saw that ‘sludge’ tones were in all the shops and the book group ladies do like to spend their money.

There is nothing frumpy or wrong with Joules or Boden or any other shop. But customers need to buy what flatters them. A couple of good questions to ask yourself in a shop are, is this new outfit nicer than the one I wore into the shop? Also, does this item make me look good?

What makes Amal Clooney look good is not necessarily what flatters the older woman!

Theoddbird

I am unique and proud of it....an ancient hippy who lives peacefully and quietly on my narrow boat home with my two cats. I don't have central heating and my clothes are mostly preloved. I forage for logs that I cut and split. My diet is mainly plant based...not eaten fish or meat since my late 20s. I talk to my friends...the geese, ducks and swans daily...and yes they answer back...hahaha I read posts from gransnet that are emailed to me....they amuse me.

You sound out of step and good for you.

Most other people on this thread sound, like me, as if they've just grown comfortable with their own tastes and decisions, but aren't particularly out if step, just not slaves to every fad and fashion.

Frumpy is in the eye of the beholder. No garment is inherently frumpy, or not many, it is what you combine aany garment with and your deportment and underpinnings and what I consider frumpy someone else might consider smart.

But one thing I really do not understand is why so many older women are so enamoured of black. As we get older our skin colour becomes more sallow, or in my case I was born with sallow skin, so discovered very early that black is about the most unflattering colour you can wear if you have sallow skin, so why embrace it when you skin becomes sallow, or in my case more sallow?

One good thing about being older is you can wear what you like, when you like and to a certain extent, you can be blunt and say what you really think. You don’t care if people think you are a weirdo, in fact it becomes a bit of a compliment. I wear purple, too ,quite often.

M0nica, that was true for me about black. I always have a scarf or another coloured top between my face and the black garment now.
Mostly, people wear a colour or an article of clothing because they feel they look good in it, whether it’s the latest fashion or their favourite garment and we’re too polite to say anything their faces.
Different things make us judge frumpiness, whether it’s reasonable or not. E.g. for me, Birkenstocks -the epitome of frumpiness, for others, the height of good taste.

M0nica

Frumpy is in the eye of the beholder. No garment is inherently frumpy, or not many, it is what you combine aany garment with and your deportment and underpinnings and what I consider frumpy someone else might consider smart.

But one thing I really do not understand is why so many older women are so enamoured of black. As we get older our skin colour becomes more sallow, or in my case I was born with sallow skin, so discovered very early that black is about the most unflattering colour you can wear if you have sallow skin, so why embrace it when you skin becomes sallow, or in my case more sallow?

Because it's handy, goes with everything and they don't care.

But many of those in black clearly care because they are elegantly dressed and give the impression that they do care how they look, that is what always puzzles me.

I think frumpiness is a demeanour, and whole outfits rather than any individual garment or accessory.

I find the strange thing is, I can wear all shades of grey, including a very dark clerical grey, likewise a green so dark it is almost black, it is just black that 'kills' me, and I cannot remember when I last had a black garment in my wardrobe.

Oh well. I didn't even know about Tesco queues until I read it on here, have never bought Boden or Joules was often told I was awkward/contrary as a teenager, once didn't put up my Christmas decorations until after Christmas and never use stock cubes.

I don't think I'm out of step, just one of the many varieties of normal and generally in step.

That’s one other thing I miss about the UK - frumps. What a lovely, evocative word. Mostly people wear the same sort of thing here and no one really cares anyway. Maybe if you go to a wedding or something people might notice , otherwise - nah. Certainly not at my age anyway. You could wear a paper bag on your head and no one would care.

My wonderful, inspirational (step) mother in law once told me “I may be many things, but may I NEVER be in step “. I aspire to be like her.

MawtheMerrier: Flipping eck what a misery! Were you never a child yourself

As I recalll the thread was about people who were "out of step". There are worse "choices" than an assertive and unselfish decision not to have children.

Single childfree people subsidise other people's lifestyle choices and we are the least selfish group with the lowest carbon footprint.

Your prerogative to choose not to have children, but shirty nappies and preferring computers strike me as questionable motivation.