How to deal with rude people!

I suffer from resting bitch face, so it happens a fair bit, despite having a pretty cheery disposition in reality

You’re not alone Ailidh. A homeless man once told me to ‘cheer up, it might never happen’ 🥴

Oh Yammy. That sounds awful

Look them square in the eye and say "Did you mean to be so rude?"

I have a great friend who seems to handle people well.

When someone said something rude to her her reply was,

‘ Do you always speak to people like that?’ and then she walked away.

It reminds me she kindly treated me to lunch at a rather nice country hotel. We had ordered lunch and as we waited the noise of a pneumatic drill started outside. She summoned the waiter and said ‘If that drill isn’t stopped immediately we are leaving NOW! Two minutes later there was silence. 👍

If it’s a personal comment just put on a quizzical face and say “you do know you said that out loud and didn’t just think it”.
Hopefully they will have the grace to be embarrassed.

If rudeness meets me it is put swiftly in its place. I don’t mince my my words and I don’t make excuses I just tell it how it is rudeness gets put in it’s place. You don’t have to be loud or abusive just brief and to the point.

There are occasions when people post on GN about their experiences with a rude person, sometimes a family member. There is a thread at the moment where the poster is having to put up with such nasty personal remarks it's hard not to get angry on her behalf. I honestly think in such cases, assuming there isn't some underlying reason why the person in question is prone to making spiteful comments, it's a good idea to take them to task and shame them by winding back on what they've said and asking why they think it is ever acceptable to make rude and personal remarks, with a "maybe that is something you should ponder on as it does say rather a lot about you"

annsixty

If it’s a personal comment just put on a quizzical face and say “you do know you said that out loud and didn’t just think it”.
Hopefully they will have the grace to be embarrassed.

LOVE this! mentally filing it for future use thanks!

Round here rudeness is usually physical, in the form of arrogant driving/parking by the completely OTT four wheel driving yummy mummy brigade! Pavement hogging by the same lot (but then I am invisible..) and some men in cafes talking way too loud about their business deals

I just stare at them with a totally blank expression and then carry on the conversation as if they hadn't spoken.

"Diplomacy at its best!" is one I've heard.

"Did you mean to be so rude"! is apparently a Mumsnet favourite.

The rudest person recently was a leader in u3a. I was picked to take part in a group activity and when I stood up she loudly said 'oh, not you, I meant that other lady!'I then had to walk back I front of everyone and a man told me off for walking too close to some equipment. I didn't go back.
The other one that comes to mind was a woman who joined our friendly group and liked to boss and organise everyone.Every time I started to speak she jumped in and talked over me so again I left.

I have tried

Patience
Kindness
Humour
Giving as good as I get

Ignoring them is the only thing that really works

In person, if I have to work with them or can't avoid them, bare minimum politeness, like saying hello and answering questions

Online... don't read, don't acknowledge if its a short enough comment that I couldn't not see it.

Quite often the people who end up bending over backwards to deal with difficult people are the ones who don't need to actually change

Gloria Hunniford was on loose women today and she remarked to the male guest that his big belly seemed smaller since his last appearance. Jane then asked him had he ever thought of being tested for autism!.What a crowd.

Quite often the people who end up bending over backwards to deal with difficult people are the ones who don't need to actually change.
Oh I know VS, but I have tried so hard. 😇

If there is an audience try “Did you mean to be so rude/hurtful”. and look really hurt and upset!

I blank them. They become invisible to me.

kircubbin2000

The rudest person recently was a leader in u3a. I was picked to take part in a group activity and when I stood up she loudly said 'oh, not you, I meant that other lady!'I then had to walk back I front of everyone and a man told me off for walking too close to some equipment. I didn't go back.
The other one that comes to mind was a woman who joined our friendly group and liked to boss and organise everyone.Every time I started to speak she jumped in and talked over me so again I left.

Yes, I know what you mean. The poetry group I belong to has a lady queen bee who knows it all. I have to admit her brain is so sharp, if I had a brain like that I would cut myself. But, she does like to talk down to people and correct us and dispense endless wisdoms. Even if I try to avoid her she somehow seems to be able to eagle eye my errors.

“I’m curious to know ………………..is it easy being that rude…………. or does it take a lot of practise?”

That's a brilliant response annsixty.

It depends on the situation, I pick my battles

One I dont pick is being questioned if I am the mother of my kids- "why do you ask" with pleasant voice stops anybody on their tracks

One I do pick - sorry

Annsixty and bumblebee34 - Thank you! Added to my list!

Since the pandemic I’ve found that I get challenged when parking in disabled bays a lot more. When I’m sitting behind the wheel, my disability isn’t apparent and numerous times I’ve been asked by random members of the public - very often, even before I’ve turned off the engine - why I’m parking there, and what my condition or disability is. No matter what tone they take, I find it incredibly rude to be asked about my medical condition by an entitled stranger. I used to get tongue tied but not any more. Now I ask them if they are a member of the police, traffic warden, or a car park attendant, and point out that if they are none of those, then I have no intention of answering any questions as my condition is between myself, my doctor and the local authority issuing the blue badge. What I enjoy most is the look on their faces as I use the wheelchair lift , sit myself down and wheel off into the sunset !!

FannyCornforth

Oh Yammy. That sounds awful

It was, we lived near the railway line I used to lie and cry. I had to keep quiet it was the job of DH's dreams.