What would you say if your husband told you to stop squawking?

For once I agree with padding but then my relationship with DH is characterised by lots of laughing. Had to be we would never have survived 44 years with each other.

Cheeky blighter! I would of went out for a lovely lunch on my own and left an egg sitting on a plate for his.

It would have been rather difficult for me to not throw whatever was closest to my hand at him.

It would not be considered acceptable in any workplace where I have ever been employed. It would be seen as bullying.

Is that rude? I don't know. I'd probably laugh and tell him to be quiet.

I would have let him know that I don't like the phrase, and felt diminished by him using it.

Another thought - can he be losing his short term memory, and is perhaps being defensive or lashing out a bit?

Its sexist, its very offensive if you look up origins and usage

but

what matters is whether it's part of a pattern of other put downs, or rare and occasional.

and

whether if you explain to him why you object to it he hears you out, respects you, and doesn't use it again

Also most of all, the context of how you are together in general - whether you both lose your temper occasionally and fling back stuff and its long been part of your life together, or its a one way street.

If my husband told me to stop squawking it would be the last thing he ever said to me 😑

sounds a rather mild word to me, and quite comic.
but i realise things are perceived differently by different people/groups.
i was rather shocked to hear quite nice northern people casually using a word that sounds a bit like beggar in ordinary speech, not cursing or angry.
i realised that it must not connote the same there.

Excuse my asking, but is this a new thing?

I am assuming this man is the father of the daughter you mentioned, and in that case you have been married to him for a number of years.

Has he always been this rude?

If he has and you have either never been able to prevent it, or to make him see how infuriating you find it (quite rightly) I am much afraid you won't change him now,

If on the other hand this rudeness is a new thing, I suggest you tell him that that incident the other day made you furious and that he will kindly not speak to you like that again.

I agree with BlueBelle don't let's get this out of proportion just a silly expression.

BlueBelle

I don’t know how long your marriage has been but to be honest if that was the worst you ve had to complain about
you ve had a pretty good time
It’s just an expression I d have retaliated with something but not get that upset about it

You can take it as being "just an expression" but terminology like that - usually applied to women - is more than a simple expression of irritation. It is meant to demean - and invalidate your complaint or opinion.

... the same as "nagging" - telling you that you are nagging is a way of discrediting you.

Basically, it is meant to belittle.

eazybee

Laid an egg on his head.

🤣🤣🤣
DD just asked if I'm ok or am I choking 🤣

Not acceptable, 25Avalon and he needs to be told.
We used to send a posse of Gransnetters round sometimes to sort out recalcitrant OHs - just shout if you need us!

My only reaction would have been a fit of giggles 😂
It’s just tooo silly to get worked up about.

Tell him to jolly well squawk off.

It seems he reacted unreasonably aggressively to a simple disagreement.
Those saying 'No big deal' are focusing on the actual words and not on the feeling behind them.

I don't know what you can do, other than ask him not to say things like that to you.
Has the actual problem been sorted out?

I agree with your first point Bluebelle but I don't think it's an acceptable expression. I'd be very hurt. You shouldn't talk to your partner like that.

I don’t know how long your marriage has been but to be honest if that was the worst you ve had to complain about
you ve had a pretty good time
It’s just an expression I d have retaliated with something but not get that upset about it

I believe I might tell him that it was time he signed up to memory testing as I knew what I did and didn't say - and he apparently had no notion to what he'd said. Further, disagreeing in front of an adult child is normal, nothing to complain of, imo. He's being ridiculous.

However, I'd not lower myself to his level of rude by making up silly ways of "punishment" - he, too, is not a child, I assume.

Nobody would be allowed to treat me like that.

paddyann54

Its only a word ,ignore it .I dont let stuff like that bother me.Life is too short .If you cant ignore it LAUGH at it .

This. I don’t know how I would survive life if I took things like this to heart.

He was trying to defend himself. It's very hard to talk to an defensive -aggressive person who thinks he is being blamed.

I had to train my adopted Jack Russel not to be defensive-aggressive. The dog was a quick learner and training sorted his problem. I don't know the method for teaching an adult human not to show his teeth and growl. Punishment probably does not work.

Very rude and meant to demean you. I would be off out for the day before I said anything which would make things worse. If you previously said that you dislike this expression, it is even worse.

I would have said “That wasn’t squawking, THIS is squawking” and given him a demo.

How extremely rude. I too would have a spending spree - on his credit card!