Children are quick. Comical sayings of children.

Baby Jesu went to London with guns and a camel…

This made me watch my language. About 50 years ago, I was struggling with the safety pin on DS's terry nappy (remember them?) when the 2-year-old came out with his first long sentence: "What's the matter with that bloody pin?"

Years ago I was teaching my P1 class a new prayer. I said now put your hands together, now put them below yr chin like this. Close your eyes. Now say after me …… and they all said as one voice “After me” !!!

My nearly 4 year old grandson is dinosaur mad. He had been to a theme park with large animated dinosaurs and decided he wanted to be a dinosaur keeper. He informed me that he could feed the diplodocus by hand but you must always use a bucket to feed a T-Rex!!

I’m actually crying with laughter. The brainium!

When my son was two (now 73) he was given a cup of tea. “It’s staggerous” he said. Meaning nasty.

Son was under Three when sitting at dining table said to my step mother - “ sometimes mummy says sugar and sometimes she says sh.. and sometimes she says sugar and sh..” I was mortified. Hadn’t realised he was listening.

Asking a class of children what they wanted to achieve when they grew up the usual nurse/doctor/spaceman answers were forthcoming; apart from Alex who annonced that his aim was 'to get the highest level of benefit'.

or 'announced'....can spell can't type.

The scene is the school dining hall:

Child: Can I have custard?
Me: And the magic word is?
Child (thoughtfully: Bon Appetit?

They were all brilliant. I laughed out loud

Love this post. It reminded me of many of my three children and the funny things they said or did. My three year old Daughter sitting with my Mum, were waiting for me to get back from my neighbour, we needed to get to the bus stop and my Mum said out loud, if your Mummy doesn’t hurry up…..my three year old completes sentence with, we will miss the bl…y bus! Apparently my Mum casually said yes we will!

I have had sheep for many years and one day when my daughter was young we were about to go and round some up and she asked whether I had remembered the purdles.I was baffled what purdles are and asked her what she meant and she said sheepurdles (sheep hurdles) and it all became clear.

We had a cat when my daughter was learning to talk, so an early word was 'ca'. We went to West Midlands safari park and had the pronouncement that the lions etc. were 'ca' - fair enough. Then we saw a hippo, my daughter stared at this strange creature and we finally got the pronouncement 'ca'!
The same daughter a couple of years later said very solemnly. 'Mummy, there are two sorts of pardons aren't there? The ones that come out of your mouth and the smelly ones that come out of your bottie'. Needless to say that sort have been called 'smelly pardons' ever since.

When my youngest daughter was about 4, we had an au pair as OH was away a lot. She suffered badly with her menstrual cycle. On returning from my day job, I was greeted with toys everywhere and asked 4yo to please pick up her Lego... She lay on the sofa, back of her hand to her forehead and announced in a martyred way "I can't, I'm having my period".

This was the child who a few years later, in all innocence, would go on sing that famous Mike Oldfield classic "In Fallopian Tubilo"!

One of my grandsons got a castle and soldiers for Christmas when he was small. He told us about one particularly special figure who was, apparently, a “Shite in knighting armour” 🤣

Jenni123 Hilarious!

All so brilliant. Thank you 😂

When we were visiting my sister with my mum my DS (now 33), was in the room with my mum playing with their dog, my mum said to him give Lady some peace she doesn’t want to play. DS went into the kitchen looking in the fridge and my sister asked him what he was looking for. His reply “Gran says lady wants some peas”. We’ve never let him forget it 😂 😂

Not a mistake but a bright kid. I was listening to our local radio statio and it was a quiz for children . The quizmaster asked one girl what she would be doing tht afternoon. the conversation went like this.
girl : I will be going to gymnastics .
QM : so are you flexible ?
girl : Well I can't do Tuesdays .

Think about it !

My Italian granddaughter had been learning about adding an s to make a plural in English. Later she and her Mum had the following conversation:

S: Mummy I've got a bru

Mum: A what?

S: A bru on my leg

M: A what? Show me. Oh a bruise

S: No Mummy, A bru. There's only one

When my older son was about 6, he was singing a song at home which they had been practising for the Christmas concert. I realised he was singing " highly flavoured lady" instead of "highly favoured lady" - referring to the virgin Mary. Thought it best to correct him, but gave us quite a laugh.

These are great! Thanks so much. I love purdles
Only today I asked DGD age 7 what she was doing at school now it's nearly Christmas.

Oh just nativity stuff - nothing Christmassy!

Rather a reflection on our times I thought.

When I was 6 we moved to a new house and my mother lined the new bedroom drawers with some pink quilted material. For some reason I was very impressed by this and rushed up to guests excitedly asking if they had seen the pretty pink bottom in Mummy's drawers.

Love all these!

Being a fully paid-up pedant, I was perversely chuffed to hear a dd of maybe 10, telling me after some tests at school, ‘English was OK, Mum, but I did really craply at maths.’