Children are quick. Comical sayings of children.

There was a toy that everyone wanted when my son was little - part of the He Man range, called Sucking Leech Man.
On a visit to the Grotto in response to Santa's question, he asked for one but slightly mis pronounced the first word so it sounded like it was spelt with a F instead of an S.
Cue a silent Santa who looked at me as though I was a terrible parent!

Dinner! The correct answer (for the crossword - but not for my daughter) was pudding!

I don't remember the occasion myself, but family history records that when I, at the age of two, was reproved by one of my grandmothers for not saying please when asking for something, replied, "Sorry, Grandma, they are in short supply!"

Tells you something about my date of birth, doesn't it?

Years later when teaching a class of fifteen year olds R.I. we were discussing the principal differences between being a Sunni or a Shi'ia Muslim, amongst which I mentioned that Sunnis are supposed to pray five times a day, whereas Shi'as pray three times.

A pupil turned to the only Muslim in the class and said, "Which are you?"

His friend considered for a second then replied, "I have never counted how often my mum prays every day."

I was a welfare helper at local school for a while.
Teacher - "who can tell me what a revolution is?"
Child - It's a thing you make after Christmas
Me - exit classroom before teacher and I laugh out loud!
Also, before Christmas my daughter asked me how to spell roulade. In the staffroom later I was greeted with " it could only have been your daughter!" Apparently, she had gone to the teacher and insisted the crossword she'd been given was wrong since "roulade" was definitely "what you have after Christmas pudding!"

Gdd1, still just under 3 IIRC, asked by one of the nursery staff what she was doing in the play kitchen.
‘I’m having a glass of wine.’ 😂

Dd when about 3 and staying with Grandma. Mum was getting dressed and went to put on her girdle(pull on). “Grandma you won’t get all that in there.”

My fifty-plus daughter developed a horror of dead things when she was circa three and used to question - in ringing tones - if the meat on her plate was alive or dead . . ."is this beef bugger still alive".

I learned never to look at other adults. . .

missdeke

Harris27

I remember reading the three little pigs to my 3/4 year olds . A small boy was really into it when I got to the bit when he huffed and puffed and blew the house down he looked up and said’ the b*****d I couldn’t move and kept calm and carried on the rest of the staff were in hysterics! I still can’t read it without remembering this! The

I have no idea how you didn't collapse at that one, I still can't stop laughing.

me too, wonderfull for a grey day!

Harris27

I remember reading the three little pigs to my 3/4 year olds . A small boy was really into it when I got to the bit when he huffed and puffed and blew the house down he looked up and said’ the b*****d I couldn’t move and kept calm and carried on the rest of the staff were in hysterics! I still can’t read it without remembering this! The

I have no idea how you didn't collapse at that one, I still can't stop laughing.

Weather a bit unsettled,we were going to have lunch, ? In or out? Said to my husband' eat al fresco '?
Granddaughter aged 4 ' Oh yes please- I love al frescoes'!!

I remember being in the science class at secondary school 60 years or mor ago. The teacher produced a piece of scientific equipment and said "who can tell me what this is?" I immediately put up my hand and said "Its a what-not for a wig-wam sir". The whole room went quiet and then suddenly roared with laughter. Teacher was not amused though and I was sent to visit the headmaster. How times have changed.

I asked my 2 GS if they had a good swim with Mummy. No came the eldest reply “ mummy made us go in the ladies changing room, so we saw lots of boobs but luckily we didn’t see any vagina’s “.
Playing a word game, DD had to write a flower beginning with C and she wrote “chew lip” 🤣. When trying on new shoes, she told the assistant that they were too small she couldn’t get her “elbow” in. 🤣

I spent a few days teaching a group of children the concept of symmetry, offering various visual and practical examples. I finally asked the children to produce a picture that illustrated symmetry. I came to one boy, whose picture I didn’t ‘ get ‘, and asked him what it was. He said, “ That’s the gravestones because it’s a cemetery.” My efforts had been wasted on him.

When my grandson was quite young my daughter asked him if she could have a kiss - he said ‘no’. She asked him why not and he replied ‘because I haven’t got any kisses left in my mouth’😊

Genuine answer from a 16 year old in a GCSE exam:

What can a hotel do to reduce their carbon footprint?
Tell people to take their shoes off.

I was his scribe and invigilator and had to write it down without sniggering.

I read a lovely one the other day, mother was listening to her six year old daughter talking to four old brother who was crying. 'It's all right to be sad' six year old said, 'sometimes things happen to make us unhappy'. Mother was very impressed by the girls' kindness and sensitivity asked 'Why was he crying?' Reply 'Because I hit him'.

A 6 year old child in my class was writing her monday morning news about what she did at the weekend.
She came to me for a spelling.
The spelling was sex!
With trepidation I asked her what she had been doing. She replied," I was looking for insects in the garden with daddy but know how to spell in. "

4 year old when asked what we needed to get from the shops
'Cock porn'
(Pop corn)

Grandchild in car: while revising for RE exam: "there is no difference between a jew and a genitalia." Had a job to keep the car on the road after this one.

My youngest daughter, following a history topic she had been doing in school and aged about 7, asked her grandma ' Had the wheel been invented when you were a little girl grandma'. At the time my mum was 57.

My 2 year old granddaughter was slow to start talking and couldn’t string two words together…so my daughter ( child psychologist) decided she was fine just needed little more encouragement than most..so started using picture flash cards. She showed her a picture of a flamingo …out came ‘fiffeemeemo’…then picture of hippopotamus ..out came ‘hiheepoppa’ ….to this day ( she’s 10) we all call them ‘fiffeemeemo’s….it’s on video …she can’t get away from it. I watch it occasionally when I need to smile. But not allowed when she’s around.

Just the other day my excited 3 year old grandson accidentally knocked over the Christmas tree we were decorating. He said it wasn't his fault "God did it!!"

I once made samoosa's for my daughter and one of her friends, then in their early teens. Later that week I heard that friend saying to another girl : if you go to xxxxx's home you should eat the salmonella's her mum makes, they're só good. 😅

Bobby, while sitting on the bus,
"I felt a bit travel-sick the other day Nana."
Me, "Oh dear, we'll have to get you some mints to suck for that."
Bobby, "Could I have bacon instead?"
Me, "Errrr..."

My toddler daughter was learning new words. We went into the greengrocers and I asked her what she wanted. She pointed to the oranges. Say ‘oranges’ I prompted…

Om-i-oms!

The greengrocer laughed and everytime we went back he asked if she wanted onioms.

We still call them omioms to this day… she’s now 38!