Where are you from? Is it an insult?

Daisymae

This incident was at an international event. There were people from all over the world present. Strikes me that this was not an unreasonable question to someone who was attending. Blown out of all proportion. Plus I do think that it would be interesting to the other side of this story.

We won’t be allowed to hear her other side of the story. She’s been stitched up like a kipper. Poor old lady.

Preparing to be flamed but I agree with the point made in the final sentence
If you make such an obvious statement about your heritage, you cannot be surprised when it invites a question about where you might be from.
(AFAIK Hackney does not have National dress)

A very good posting Espee.

We've been told that M&S sell animal prints, MawtheMerrier.

Yes, Hackney does have a traditional dress. 🙂

Sago and others you ve lost the point completely and you’re not alone
There is absolutely nothing wrong or racist in asking someone where they are from, however if you continue and continue on and on trying to get a different answer to that being given there’s either something wrong with you or you have an agenda This woman had a pre conceived idea that the lady was African and was completely thrown when she said London so she asked again and was told the organisations name so she tried again and again even going as far as “NO where are your people from ?” she was irritated because she didn’t get the answer she was searching for So an innocent question was taken into a racist badgering
Can you see the difference ?

To add to that before the questioning she had reached over to move the lady’s hair so she could see her name badge that’s offensive in itself you DO NOT touch peoples hair face or anything else for any matter

She shouldn’t have been sacked that ll gain nothing she should have been put on an awareness course to teach her how to talk and act with people She was high handed acted as a over privileged person with little awareness of politeness or personal space

I agree Forsythia SH was allowed to say sorry but not another word. orf with her head

Witzend

I certainly wouldn’t ask anyone who sounds native-born.
I doubt that Lady Susan was prompted by racism, but IMO it was highly insensitive, or perhaps crass would be a better word.

We have more than once asked cab drivers whose accents made it obvious that they were born and brought up elsewhere else - I don’t think anyone has taken it amiss.

Yes, we've often got into conversation with cab drivers about their origins. I'm not very elderly (or racist) and am interested to know about where people's origins were, whether or not they are now UK citizens. The Guardian piece suggests that all this media attention is over the top.

Sadly it appears that black people are very enthusiastic to take offence about people's interest in their ethnic background - is it racist of me to think this? Are we not allowed to be interested?

Callistemon21

We've been told that M&S sell animal prints, MawtheMerrier.

Yes, Hackney does have a traditional dress. 🙂

🤣🤣🤣

mawthemerrier doesn’t give anyone the right to interrogate or touch your hair or any other part of your body no matter what you wear that’s just a big old excuse for a rude over privileged woman who didn’t getthe answer she was expecting

cc don’t you see the difference between asking in an interested way and interrogating asking the same question over and over surely you can see the difference…. if not well 🤷🏼‍♂️

Sorry BlueBelle but you don't know that. SH was not given a TV interview etc. None of us know what she was really doing. We can only speculate.

Someone said upthread that the Royal attendants have a job to find out all they can about visitors to identify the interesting ones to prepare the way for the K or Q. I would speculate that SH was doing that in a rather overbearing way.

BlueBelle

cc don’t you see the difference between asking in an interested way and interrogating asking the same question over and over surely you can see the difference…. if not well 🤷🏼‍♂️

Perhaps she simply wanted the answer to her question, i.e. to know where her family originally came from? (Though we do wonder if perhaps 83 is too old be be fulfilling an official role).

And as Grammaretto said it was SH's role to find out all they can about visitors. I agree it appears to be heavy handed.

We don’t know that she touched her hair. We only have one side of the story. I’m on holiday at the moment. I’ve been asked numerous times where I’m from. It doesn’t offend me. I answer them. Some have said but where in England are you from? Badgering me or just genuinely interested. One young man commented on my white hair and said it was amazing. How dare he!

Forsythia

Daisymae

This incident was at an international event. There were people from all over the world present. Strikes me that this was not an unreasonable question to someone who was attending. Blown out of all proportion. Plus I do think that it would be interesting to the other side of this story.

We won’t be allowed to hear her other side of the story. She’s been stitched up like a kipper. Poor old lady.

She could go on twitter. Or I'm sure that any of the news programs would love to have her point of view. Do you think she'd like to do that?

Or do you think she might keep quiet because she acknowledges she behaved in a racist manner?

volver

Forsythia

Daisymae

This incident was at an international event. There were people from all over the world present. Strikes me that this was not an unreasonable question to someone who was attending. Blown out of all proportion. Plus I do think that it would be interesting to the other side of this story.

We won’t be allowed to hear her other side of the story. She’s been stitched up like a kipper. Poor old lady.

She could go on twitter. Or I'm sure that any of the news programs would love to have her point of view. Do you think she'd like to do that?

Or do you think she might keep quiet because she acknowledges she behaved in a racist manner?

She’s been closed down. As for her going on twitter at her age I never cease to find your sense of humour amazing. You are a card.

CC not all black people take offence about people’s interest in their ethnic background. It is racist at worst or making assumptions at best about everyone who is black. This denies individuality which is totally wrong.

Sadly it appears that black people are very enthusiastic to take offence about people's interest in their ethnic background - is it racist of me to think this? Are we not allowed to be interested?

I don't think they're very enthusiastic at all - I expect they're just very very tired of the same questions over and over, and putting up with those who won't accept the first answer.

I remember a young Polish nursing colleague a few years ago saying she was fed up with patients asking where she was from and upon hearing the answer, the response of 'it's a wonder there's anyone left in Poland'. That response was once spat out by a very famous television presenter!

Well said 25Avalon

Forsythia

JaneJudge

she can wear what she wants

And nobody said she couldn’t did they.. if I turn up to a function wearing a kilt and sporran people might assume I’m from Scotland. They’d be racist asking me I guess.

If you weren't Scottish and you turned up wearing Scottish dress it would be seen as cultural appropriation

It's not difficult to be respectful. Someone having heritage and being proud of that is different too, from what has happened.

This has to be my last word you will be relieved to know.
Lady Susan Hussey was crass, patronising, tactless, rude and showed her lack of education or indeed preparation for the evening.
You do not touch people’s hair . (Remember Princess Margaret brushing Peter Townsend’s lapel?)
If you don’t get an answer because the question was unwelcome, or one you don’t understand, you move swiftly on (as in, “Really, tell me about your organisation/work”)
You might realise that you cannot blanket assume “Jamaican” because somebody came over on the Windrush, and in any case “How fascinating- what brought them to London “ might be more tactful.
But all of these have been ignored in the outcry against SH, although to me, they are damning enough in themselves for a former Lady in Waiting and indicate time to retire, and be put out to pasture.
But racist? No.

However, these days the heinous crime is Racism.

Sadly it appears that black people are very enthusiastic to take offence about people's interest in their ethnic background - is it racist of me to think this? Are we not allowed to be interested?

I tried to make this point on the other thread as I too (white,
blond living in France)get frequently asked and yes like the
Polish nurse you get tired of it but I don't think its a racist.
I begin to think that Lady Hussy may have thought she was
not understood by the other lady and hence the repeated question.
Don't the media and the wokers just love such a situation.

I get asked where I am from too as I have a regional accent which isn't from the area I live in, it's nothing like racism or any ism

JaneJudge

Forsythia

JaneJudge

she can wear what she wants

And nobody said she couldn’t did they.. if I turn up to a function wearing a kilt and sporran people might assume I’m from Scotland. They’d be racist asking me I guess.

If you weren't Scottish and you turned up wearing Scottish dress it would be seen as cultural appropriation

It's not difficult to be respectful. Someone having heritage and being proud of that is different too, from what has happened.

I agree with you. This woman has culturally appropriated African dress and an African sounding name. Her real name is Marlene Headley. Her parents are not from Africa but the Caribbean. Cultural appropriation exactly as you describe. Still, let’s hope a few journalists dig a bit deeper to find out why she did this, growing up British and living in Hackney.

This was a set-up job!!!!