The bah humbug thread...

For all those with an empty space at the dinner table or around the tree

That’s a good sentiment, 1Summer. My 5yo GD talks about her great grandma even though she died four years before GD was even born, simply from hearing the stories about her and seeing pictures. ❤️

I hope your Dh makes good progress, Kalu.

Christmas must be a hard time when someone special is no longer here or is suffering. I am truly sorry for those of you who are unhappy this year.

We are religious so Christmas has an extra dimension for us. DH is a cathedral chorister and has several concerts lined up. I say a private prayer sometimes during a favourite carol. Music always makes me feel good at Christmas, even in shops and in the streets.

As for excess at Christmas, I do tend to go all out with delicacies and luxuries in the food and drink department. There is no question of putting the cost on a credit card though.

I don't think I've ever felt the loss of my girl as much as I am this year.

It's relentless, it seems.

Spot on, Maw. I am ambivalent about this first Christmas since DH’s death and didn’t want a pale imitation of previous years - in 60 years together we had many brilliant celebrations and I am grateful for that. This year I have told the “children” to do their own thing and I am cooking lunch for a friend whose wife died not long after DH. We don’t have to pretend to protect other people’s feelings but can manage the day to suit ourselves. I will see both families either side of the festival itself and that will be fine.

Lovely words Maw

DH was always very Bah Humbug and the rest of us had to be as festive as we could in spite of him. Now he's gone we can be as festive as we like but I seem to be cutting back anyway. I try to stick to cooking stuff that everyone will actually eat - chicken drumsticks for the GS who only eats crunchy stuff and a turkey joint for the rest of us. No searching for fridge space for the turkey carcase, and if things can come out of packets it's even better.

That's how I am about dinner, too.

I have a chicken breast, cover it in butter, and put sage and onion on it.

GrannySomerset

Spot on, Maw. I am ambivalent about this first Christmas since DH’s death and didn’t want a pale imitation of previous years - in 60 years together we had many brilliant celebrations and I am grateful for that. This year I have told the “children” to do their own thing and I am cooking lunch for a friend whose wife died not long after DH. We don’t have to pretend to protect other people’s feelings but can manage the day to suit ourselves. I will see both families either side of the festival itself and that will be fine.

That’s very generous of you - being kind to someone else who has gone through what you are experiencing will help you both.

I do think Christmas is what we make it.
One of my happiest was when Paw was in the Royal Free after botched bowel surgery and a Lymphoma diagnosis. We’d heard he was suitable for monoclonal antibody treatment and the outlook was good. Cancelling any plans at home I put a venison casserole in the boot of the cat and drove down to London on Christmas Eve, I camped out at D3’s flat in Hackney and we took smoked salmon sandwiches over to the hospital to eat with him on Christmas Day, going back to the flat for the casserole in the evening. Oddly enough it was a happy Christmas and we were counting our blessings.

“Car” obviously - not cat!

Thank you for your good wishes. DH is determinedly making great strides helped by his wicked sense of humour.
That is encouraging news BlueBell, thank you. It’s so good to hear of someone in the same boat still going strong years later. Your poor friends have really been through the mill.

I like the cat version Maw “Put the venison casserole in the boot of the cat” that tickled me

Yes they are very upbeat my friend is now wearing a wig but looks so well She’s about 10 years younger than me too I just hope they both keep going strong

MissAdventure. Sending you much love and strength to help you through such a difficult time. 💐

Whilst going through the menopause/mentalpause years ago now, one particular Christmas, I just CBA cooking anything and served up a selection of sushi to our guests! No one said a word! I think they enjoyed it. 🤷‍♀️

Sushi supplied by M&S 😉

MissAdventure

This thread makes us Humbuggers then.

I want to come and give you a big hug, MissA

But don't expect me to put up a tree etc, my knees are knackered.

How about a M&S ready meal?

Goodness me I am so sorry for all of you who have lost a loved one especially children.Aftermy brother died my father went pretty much to pieces he couldn’t deal with the fact that his son died before him…💐💐💐

X posts
(One eye on the football, sorry)

I really don't do hugs, as a rule.
I'm awful, I don't hug anybody.

You see, now I'm wishing I had hugged my girl more than once every three years.

I don't mind, I have been hug-resistant since Covid.

I'm not looking at my most huggable, of late.

See, I've got the right 'ump now, as we say in these parts.

MissAdventure

I really don't do hugs, as a rule.
I'm awful, I don't hug anybody.

You see, now I'm wishing I had hugged my girl more than once every three years.

If it’s any consolation miss A I’m not a hugger either…

Oh, I had always imagined you as huggy.

Baggs I have total empathy with you.
There are so many expectations associated with Christmas which I hate. This often leads to feelings of guilt.
Those sad feelings that so many have to overcome every day are heightened at this time.
I must admit to breathing a sigh of relief in January.
I am sending loving hugs to everybody especially those with worries and those bereaved, even Adventuregirl who doesn’t do hugs.

I'm a Humbugger and I don't do hugging either (unless it's my granddaughters but they are at an age where they shrug me off!)