JK Rowling putting her money where her mouth is

Good for JKR doing something to help abused women. I don’t like her books at all but she goes up in my estimation because she didn’t have to make this very generous gesture.

Thanks Doodledog that sums it up precisely. 👍

nanna8 it's only one of her philanthropic activities. She also has a children's charity and funds an MS centre in memory of her mother. If only more very wealthy people were as socially motivated to help others.

Well said Aveline
Well done to J.K.R. If only more extremely wealthy people, who could afford to do so, were willing to follow her example.

Doodledog

NanKate

Just as an aside. Yesterday I went to the public loos. Just before I entered a man went in so I waited outside for him to exit. Now it could be that he used the Ladies as the Gents was boarded up but I wasn’t going to risk it.

That's what we have all been taught to do from childhood, NanKate. We trust our instincts and know that men in a Ladies' loo are best avoided. Even if they have good reason to be there, we assume otherwise until we find out - it's self-preservation. We also instinctively suspect people who are 'not as they seem'.

Asking women to forget all of this info - to call men 'she', to pretend not to notice an obviously male body in a dress, to agree that women is a class that can contain all-comers, so basically doesn't exist - is gaslighting, and dangerous to children and young people, who |(if this continues) may never learn fairly basic survival skills.

I am quite happy for man with an obviously male body to wear a dress and enjoy the experience. In the same way that no-one questions me when I wear men's jeans with a fly zip, or enjoy some of the more male-oriented activities.

But however much I might identify with men at various points, I'm not a man and I'm not going to tell them how they should behave or 'reframe' their experiences.

Male violence against women is real, A dress and self-identification does not change a man into a woman and a woman who has been raped by a man should not be coerced by political correctness into accepting him as a therapist if she does not feel comfortable with him.

... especially if he wants to 're-educate' you in the process. Rape is not about the therapist, it is about helping a victim of rape to overcome the trauma.

I couldn't care less what men wear to enjoy the experience. I care when they want to have that experience in a woman's safe space, and I care about the implication that he is a woman simply because he is wearing it.

Yes to the rest of your post, though.

Doodledog

I couldn't care less what men wear to enjoy the experience. I care when they want to have that experience in a woman's safe space, and I care about the implication that he is a woman simply because he is wearing it.

Yes to the rest of your post, though.

... and I care about the implication that he is a woman simply because he is wearing it.

In my (often) ham-fisted way, that's basically what I was attempting to say!

www.facebook.com/reel/1832748157089322?s=yWDuG2&fs=e

And VS?, your point being?

VioletSky

www.facebook.com/reel/1832748157089322?s=yWDuG2&fs=e

What is the relevance of a tomboy - I assume she's a tomboy from the #memes - in a women's toilet? Tomboys are as old as the hills... or is she a he - I'm not sure what point you are making in relation to a male therapist in a dress attempting to re-educate rape victims as part of the therapeutic process??

Bridie22

And VS?, your point being?

She’s found something with a catchy tune that doesn’t really make a point at all.
Still sounds to me very much akin to the ‘reeducation’ practiced by the Chinese on people who disagree.
Endorse the idea of one re-education on unwilling victims, why not the other.

If there is no point to it why post it ?!!

Bridie22

If there is no point to it why post it ?!!

Sorry Bridie22. We can’t censor people’s right to post things. I’m just pointing this out before you get jumped on.

Wasn't censoring.. just wondering, I'm personally more interested in JKR amazing project for women, as I believe this is what the original post was about.

Bridie22

Wasn't censoring.. just wondering, I'm personally more interested in JKR amazing project for women, as I believe this is what the original post was about.

Me too, Bridie. JKR does a lot for charities, and is fearless in speaking out against misogyny in all its guises.

As to the video - who knows? According to the tags on the reel it is supposedly 'funny', but the joke is lost on me. The 'point' of posting was probably something to do with 'authentic selves' and dysphoria, suggesting that anyone who feels that women should have the option to be counselled by other women when they've been raped are bigots and/or 'ignorant'. But again - who knows?

Indeed Doodledog, just an attempted distraction tactic.

Bridie22

If there is no point to it why post it ?!!

VS may have a point which we haven't twigged.

That's why I asked my question. Sometimes, things are nuanced.

I hope she replies, but no-one is compelled to explain themselves. This isn't an interrogation!

Of course no-one is compelled to explain themselves, but isn't it just manners to answer direct questions, particularly about something you have posted? Posting a video like that with no explanation or context is going to be confusing, so it is to be expected that people will ask.

It may well be that VS is posting from work, so hasn't been able to reply. Who knows, but it's not unreasonable to ask, I don't think. If I had posted something people didn't understand I'd rather they asked what I meant.

I don't do nuanced, much prefer straight answers.

I’m not sure what the video is about. 🤔

The person outside the loo looks like a lesbian to me and she would in my opinion be welcome to use the ladies. Perhaps there is a hidden agenda here which just evades me.

VS...likes a good mind game., in my opinion.

Bridie22

I don't do nuanced, much prefer straight answers.

... well I'm not very good at it either - sometimes things fly straight over my head. Even things that are obvious to everyone else.

I thought I might have missed something with the video. As far as I can tell, it's a short snip of a tomboy, peeved at being stared at and proving she's got the required credentials to use the female toilet.

But ???

We don't know if they had the right credentials though...hence, mind games on JKR thread.

I’m feeling desperate…my son is being emotionally abused by his wife. I’m sure she has NPD. He’s managed to leave her but he’s a wreck. Won’t stand up to her because petrified that she’ll muck up his access. Unfortunately nothing is formalised yet. It’s an “emperor’s new clothes” situ with no-one saying anything. Advice greatly appreciated

Love59

I’m feeling desperate…my son is being emotionally abused by his wife. I’m sure she has NPD. He’s managed to leave her but he’s a wreck. Won’t stand up to her because petrified that she’ll muck up his access. Unfortunately nothing is formalised yet. It’s an “emperor’s new clothes” situ with no-one saying anything. Advice greatly appreciated

I'm sorry to hear this. Maybe it would be a good idea for your son to get some counselling to help him navigate this difficult time. A trip to the doctors would point him in the right direction if he needs specialist abuse support.

Probably best not to get too involved yourself with ideas about what might be her problem and just listen and support, these things can backfire if they reunite.

Just focus on getting your son some professional help to handle this and keep himself safe