Historic rape accusation, should we change behaviours?

Yes it's horrible when people believe the "no smoke without fire " thing. I left an area once because of bullying. Someone started a horrible rumour and I felt it easier to leave because I didn't have the emotional energy to defend myself (and I also didn't feel I should have to!)

I think the type of people to believe a one sided rumor are not worth bothering with. There are gossips in every town.

A point that seems to be ignored in this thread. False accusations by women are rare. Male sexual assault is not. Yet we pity men?

Yes, because most of us aren't misandrists and can easily understand that false allegations, made against anyone, male or female, causes untold misery and anguish. It is perfectly possible to pity, empathise or be sympathetic towards anyone who is the victim of false allegations made against them, whether that be for theft, sexual misconduct or the lack of support from the legal systems that were set up to help them.

I agree with you BlueBelle.

My DH used to often call in on a neighbour couple on the way home from work.
If the man wasn't there, he wasn't allowed in and only got a quick chat on the doorstep.
Likewise, if my DD called and the woman wasn't in.

I don't know if anything had happened in their past, to cause their caution .

That's an awful thing to have happened Onward, something I've also experienced. You're in effect being accused of lying without the word liar, ever being used.

Well said BaBaBoom.

It's not misandry to point out that a man should statistically be more worried about being alone with a man than a woman.

If the lone woman told such a lie about your husband she 'd be guilty of serious slander.

Have you noticed if she is reasonable and decent or if she is irrational and untrustworthy? Does she slander other men, or does she seek ways to extort compensation? Most people are not criminals.

No one can anticipate what might happen years down the line if a neighbour or relative starts symptoms of dementia.

Whatever the sufferer believes is just that, they will not be swayed from their firm belief that something has happened to them either recently or in the past.

MIL had some very firm beliefs when she was admitted to a nursing home, very outlandish, not to mention impossible, but should someone have believed her goodness knows what would have happened to the poor unsuspecting person.

How can you protect yourself from someone’s delusions?

How can you protect yourself from someone’s delusions?

By always having a witness. By making sure you are never alone with them, in a situation that could be misconstrued. Working with kids in the past, it was advised to never be alone in case they made an allegation that would be their word against yours.

False allegations are rare. Fear of them shouldn’t stop us behaving with kindness, support to our friends and neighbours.
Take sensible precautions but don’t let fear dictate e very thing we do
I worked therapeutically with children and adults for 40 years, along with colleagues. None of us were made the subject of false allegations.

I have never been either.

But that doesn't mean that I haven't safeguarded myself as much as possible while safeguarding others.

But it's not in any way safeguarding if the people here are scared if their husband is alone with a woman but not scared if their husband is alone with a man.

Sago, it would be such a shame if we stopped helping our neighbours, due to the very unlikely and rare 'risk' of false accusations.

The 'sad thread' on which your fears are based is so strange anyway, missing details of the usual procedure, maybe just hearsay.

We shouldn’t live in fear of being alone with anyone unless we have reason to have concerns about them. Such incidents happen but are very rare, and the vast majority of men and women are decent and well-meaning. Otherwise we’d need to find a chaperone every time someone, friend, neighbour, tradesman etc. had reason to come into our homes. Who could we trust?

Likewise, why should men be warned to be wary about offering a helping hand in the very extreme case of it being misconstrued?

I don’t believe we should live our lives imagining danger round every corner.

I wonder if any of these “falsely accused” men have ever tried… not raping people?

AmberSpyglass

I wonder if any of these “falsely accused” men have ever tried… not raping people?

👏👏

evidencebasedjustice.exeter.ac.uk/case/stefan-kiszko/

Stefan's life was ruined by false allegations. But the four girls who said Kiszko had exposed themselves admitted they had made it up “for a laugh." false allegations, even if extremely rare, can cost innocent lives and are not to be lightly dismissed.
Stefan didn't rape or murder but lost 16 of the last 17 years of his life.

I remember the case, Rosie51

Evidence which could have cleared him was not presented to court as it was not available to the defence in those days.

Incredibly sad case wasn't it Callistemon21? So sad he died so soon after eventual release. His mother, bless her, never doubted him.

false allegations, even if extremely rare, can cost innocent lives and are not to be lightly dismissed yes Rosie. Lives can be ruined by false allegations.

Rosie51

Incredibly sad case wasn't it Callistemon21? So sad he died so soon after eventual release. His mother, bless her, never doubted him.

Yes, it was shocking.
Very sad, poor man. Evidence which could have cleared him was not presented in court.

The eal murderer spent over 30 years free and assaulted other children.

I don’t understand your comment AmberSpyglass. Falsely accused men are not, by definition, raping people.

Real murderer.

Delila

I don’t understand your comment AmberSpyglass. Falsely accused men are not, by definition, raping people.

I don't understand either.

Thanks Smileless.

I agree that false allegations can be so harmful. That case is so awful. Imagine if it was your husband, brother or son. Because it's not just the person accused that suffers.

Look at the responses on this thread and consider that these are the people who will make up a jury.

And then decide.