Your thoughts please, feeling anxious

Kryptonite, yes, I had to do that with an awkward neighbour. There were often parcels here for several days - until they bothered to collect them, or I took them over to their door.

They would knock early mornings - or late at night - to collect stuff too. In the end, I decided that they were taking the pee and/or just plain rude, so refused to take any more parcels.

The Hermes (then) delivery chap said other neighbours wouldn't take them either. Obviously, they'd previously upset people, then moved on to me!

I suppose people can just say no if postie or delivery person asks them to take in a delivery for a neighbour.

If they can’t deliver parcels here they leave a card telling you to pick it up at the local P.O at certain times. If it is not picked up in a couple of weeks they chuck it. No way would they leave it at a neighbour’s house, ever. Perhaps we are an unfriendly bunch but at least you know where you stand and take responsibility for yourselves.

You’ve done the right thing, they were taking advantage of you
If they don’t like it, let them lump it ..
There acting very selfishly and would most likely have continued to take advantage, of your kindness
It’s now up-to them to be neighbourly, stand your ground.
You’ve done nothing wrong ..

pascal30

I would block them on Whatsapp and not answer the door to the delivery men... you have your own life.

This is good advice^ I hope you have net curtains, you can see the delivery van but he won't see you so just don't answer the door. If you get caught on your drive tell the van driver that you don't live there, are the cleaner, gardener, the people are away and you came to water the house plants - anything, driver won't know and if neighbour asks just say, "been out most of the day".

Just ignore them, ungrateful miseries 🙄

MAY BE A DIFFERENT ISSUE BUT IN FIRST LOCKDOWN I TOOK IN ALL OF THE NEIGHBOURS AMAZON PARCELS FOR ONE NOT TO BE COLLECTED IN A WEEK, SO I KNOCKED ON THIS NEW NEIGHBOURS DOOR WHO WAS NOT AWARE AS I DID SAY TO THE DELVIERY DRIVER PLEASE CAN YOU PUT A NOTE THROUGH PERSONS LETTERBOX, BUT IN THIS CASE SIMPLY PUT A NOTE ON YOUR FRONT DOOR/PORCH TO SAY THAT YOU WILL NOT TAKE IN ANY NEIGHBOURS PARCELS ONLY FOR YOUR OWN HOUSEHOLD.

Agree with what others have said. Just tell the delivery man you’re going away or don’t answer the door.

I think it might have something to do with age. A lot of young people have been brought up to think the world revolves around them. I see it all the time. I have a woman in her twenties next door and she’s fine but sometimes parcels are left at my house for days even though she’s home and in and out. She also takes in odd parcels for me but I knock on as soon as I arrive home and collect it. Her visitors even used to park on my drive next to my car until I made it clear that was a no no.

Your neighbours obviously have little to no understanding of boundaries and good manners. Probably think because you are of a certain age they can treat you like mum and dad.

I’d just be firm and don’t feel uncomfortable as they’re the ones taking the p not you.

I Don't mind taking in parcels for neighbours but it isn't a frequent thing. I once had a parcel delivered to a neighbour but the courier didn't put a card through my door. At the time I hadn't ever spoken to that neighbour as it was a couple of doors away so I was starting to contact the company to say it hadn't arrived then I happened to be out and the guy saw me and said he had it. Apparently it had been there for a week or more! I was amazed he hadn't called round to tell me. It wasn't heavy, though quite large. If it had been me I'd have taken it round when I knew someone was there! It's fairly easy to see if people are in if they some and go by car!
I know a lot of people have things delivered to their work address and did that myself once or twice if knew I wouldn't be at home. It's easier now I'm retired but I hate it when a courier leaves something valuable on the doorstep!

You can refuse to take in a delivery. They won’t know it was you. Or don’t answer door. It will get neighbour more organised with receiving parcels.

I would just tell your neighbours sorry, we can’t take large parcels, haven’t got room and don’t want to be responsible for them. You can always refuse to accept any parcel for a neighbour. Sounds like they don’t do you any favours in return, do they?
Your story about the bread reminded me of a family staying at a Lake District dairy farm B&B, who announced at breakfast that they didn’t want cow’s milk…🤔🙄

Keep it simple. No need for any explanations it refuels

No. I k ow how awkward can be. I love the ad link. Haha
Well we each need to do it how it sits best I suppose

If me I would still take in a small parcel or maybe 2 to defuse feelings
Then onwards you don't take any more, say to delivery man you are going away whatever or a simple no or don't answer door
Parcel owner wont know and delivery person will find someone else

Cheeky buggers! I take in parcels for the neighbour opposite …no probs …but that’s 3/4 times a year…they both go out very early to work ( own cleaning business) and come back very late!! They were very kind to offer to do shopping when Covid first kicked off…but I I formed her I was ‘au fait’ with tech, and was shopping on line! But although we’re not friendly …we’re courteous to each other. I like that way of neighbourliness better.

You are not in any way being unreasonable - you've already gone the extra mile. Maybe you're overthinking it. What if they could not rely on you - they would sort something out.

The occasional parcel is fine but your neighbours were taking advantage. Just explain that the odd one is acceptable but having so many parcels was causing a problem in your house and you cannot manage to take so many. I think your neighbours were being unreasonable and inconsiderate. Try not to feel anxious, you have done nothing wrong, it isn’t worth it. Good luck.

The toast story really made me laugh. DH says he would have told them that we haven't done the shopping yet and have run out of bread. I don't know if I'd have been that quick!

Before I retired my office started to take in parcels for a new neighbour but then we got fed up with it - so many parcels and the neighbour was often not home before we closed our office. What to do with the parcels? Leave them by their back door? I was concerned that we might be liable (or accused of) any theft or damage to the parcels so we stopped accepting them. It was a great relief and much less hassle.

Just politely tell the delivery driver that you don't want to accept the parcel/s. It is not really your problem.

I know exactly how you feel. They are taking advantage of your kindness. It is better to stop it now than wait any longer to let them know that they are taking your kindness for granted. Believe me I've been there and regretted not stopping it before i did.

There's being neighbourly and being neighbourly, you have exceeded the idea. Your DH did the right thing, those neighbours were using you like a click and collect facility. Don't think about it, most would have done the same.

Can you offer to be a key holder for them? That way you could facilitate the dumping of large parcels into their own hallway?

You are not being unreasonable nor is your husband in feeling that your neighbours were imposing upon you.

Nor do you have any reason to be worried if they are now in a huff.

Answer this simple question: when did your neighbours do anything nice for you in return for your help?

Not once? That's what I thought.

If they are now in a huff over your husband's polite request, this means they won't be imposing on you any longer.

If someone does turn up and wants to leave a parcel for them with you, just say No.

Start saying No to the delivery drivers. They'll find another way - just as happens when you are out.

The ketchup reminded me of a neighbour who would send the child round to "borrow" an egg, milk, paracetamol, I eventually caught on & started saying No - it's as much about the inconvenience running around for them in my already busy life bagging up products for them.