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Passive aggression

(61 Posts)
NotSpaghetti Thu 05-Jan-23 10:04:50

Passive-aggressive behavior is defined as behavior that is seemingly innocuous, accidental, or neutral but that indirectly displays an unconscious aggressive motive. (APA dictionary of Psychology).

Baggs Thu 05-Jan-23 09:56:54

Although laziness is irritating too!!

Baggs Thu 05-Jan-23 09:56:12

Not that anyone has been called passive aggressive. I'm looking for definition of what it is as I think this might help me be less irritated.

NotSpaghetti Thu 05-Jan-23 09:52:08

I'm not sure what you mean by this Oreo: Calling people passive aggressive is the new toxic.

NotSpaghetti Thu 05-Jan-23 09:50:16

No. I think passive aggressive is about quietly undermining and backhanded complements. Last minute cancellations may come in here too. Passive aggressive people can apologise and then be rude - eg "no offence but..." or they say things in a particular tone - things like "I love that you are always so upbeat even when everything is going wrong" (as though you are an idiot).

So Baggs, no, just not doing a job doesn't count in my opinion.

Baggs Thu 05-Jan-23 09:43:49

I think it is partly pathological laziness. I'm the one who picks up the slack about the job I'm thinking of but other colleagues also have to "carry" this person. She doesn't seem able to pull her weight in the team. I'm pretty sure management has spoken to her about pulling her weight generally.

On her job's personal level she's lovely and likewise with colleagues but just pulling her weight in ordinary ways not so much.

She has an aura of limpness so on the one hand I think we have to carry her because of her weakness – adapt the job to the person rather than the person to the job. On the other hand it’s really quite tiresome.

Aveline Thu 05-Jan-23 09:41:03

That's not my understanding of passive aggression. As we were taught it was more a case of acting like a martyr.
Not doing what you're supposed to be doing is just being lazy and management should point this out to them.

Oreo Thu 05-Jan-23 09:36:01

Calling people passive aggressive is the new toxic.
Some people at work may just be aggressive, or mean minded or sly or any number of things.

baubles Thu 05-Jan-23 09:33:43

I’m not sure if that’s just laziness, aka ‘can’t be arsedness’.

It depends on what isn’t being done and who has to pick up the slack I suppose.

Baggs Thu 05-Jan-23 09:30:08

Odd how immediately under this when I posted it is a thread about being fed up with colleagues.

Baggs Thu 05-Jan-23 09:29:20

I'm not really au fait with what counts as passive aggressive behaviour. Does not doing a job properly that you're supposed to do pretty much every day at work count?