Did your parents make you stand up for adults on public transport?

Oh I don't know! I was hauled out of a bus seat once or twice by my grandmother as a child, to stand for an adult, I'm not sure about my parents, we were either on a train and the occasion didn't arise, or in a car. My thoughts are I'd give up my seat to whoever needed it the most, I could really have done with a seat once or twice when I was pregnant and commuting, not always visible until the end, I'd gladly give up my seat for a woman in such a situation, or someone disabled. If I had children or grandchildren with me then I'd possibly suggest that would be a kind thing to do. I think my sons would definitely do that and tell me they have done so happily when they felt someone needed a seat. One young man gave up his seat for me on the London underground and after I'd gratefully accepted my thoughts were "he thinks I'm old"

I did read the MN thread, I thought the mother sounded somewhat unreasonable.

Slightly off topic the people who annoy me the most on trains are the ones who "set up office" so they purloined the seat next to them and anyone who had the temerity to ask them to move their stuff they would often do so with really bad grace, huffing and puffing, I remember one such occasion I really wanted to ask "paid for two seats have you?"

Definitely stood up for adults, but not sure where the directive came from initially. Like most children, we were taught in school to stand up when an adult entered the room, and at home always understood that I would give my chair up to visitors. Therefore it followed on that I did so on public transport, despite the fact that there were not many opportunities to use public transport in the small market town where I grew up. I remember clinging on for dear life on the tube in London, having given up my seat and feeling certain that I would get trampled underfoot! I believe it was all part and parcel of basic good manners, saying please and thank you, not speaking with your mouth full and using cutlery correctly. It was expected of you, and you did it. Being taught these basics at an early age you just added to them as you grew up, and they hopefully became automatic.

I don't remember TBH but I do remember giving up my seat.

I had a train seat reserved and a young woman who’d set up shop there was quite put out when I pointed out that she was sitting in it. “But I’m working”, she said, and seemed astonished that I wasn’t prepared to let her carry on while I stood for the next hour. I’ve never seen a laptop snapped shut so viciously.

Maggiemaybe I've had that happen to me too, I mean how dare we expect so sit in the seat we went to the trouble of reserving.

It must be exasperating for people who are returning from a working day, having paid for a ( very expensive) season ticket - to stand and view a seated child ( ticket price £1)
On the subject of folk spreading out over several seats, I once tried to sit next to a man who had taken over a table for four. He made such a fuss that I sat elsewhere. At the next stop, three young women boarded, sat at his table and proceeded to have a lovely time, drinking fizz, eating a picnic, doing their make up etc. I enjoyed his undisguised fury from a few seats away.

I was expected to give up my seat. I was giving the option of sitting on my mother's lap, but I usually considered standing was less embarrassing.

Of course, I did not need a seat. I was also told to hold doors open and say please and thank you.

I must admit it is only recently that I have taken up the offer of a seat on the bus and tube although I do fight to get DH a seat!

I always did. I didn’t go on public transport with my parents though so not sure where I learned that from. Maybe my Nan. My 11 year old hasn’t been on public transport for years so wouldn’t know that’s a thing.

I was taught as a child that if you were sitting down and an adult was standing , then you offered them your seat. An adult give up a seat so a child could sit down? No way!

I usually find that on a crowded Tube train I'm offered a seat which I accept gracefully and gratefully. On occasion I have stood in front of a young person sitting in the seat nominally reserved for pregnant/elderly people and if they haven't voluntarily moved, I've pointed out the "priority" notice and generally get an apology and the seat. There are compensations to being old!

Its reasuuring to know that my parents and grandparents were not the only ones who insisted on this. I was also made to give up my chair to visitors. The TV was immediately switched off when someone called, even if it was only a neighbour calling to borrow something. I hated that if I was watching something.

We called all adults Mr and Mrs if we did not know them. Family friends were Uncle and Auntie. I can also remember that in the 1960s in work I never called the older staff by their first names and they always called me Miss Biglouis. I would never have dreamed of asking an older staff member a personal question such as how much they earned, or why they had never had children.

It seems a lifetime away now but even in the "swinging sixties" it was a much more kindly and well mannered world than we have now.

I always gave up my seat when I was a child.
I try to find a disabled seat when I am travelling by bus or tube but I would never ask for a seat. Many offer their seat and I also accept them graciously. A few days ago I stood in front of two people in their 30s, I stood, gripping my stick and hanging on.

When I got off 10 minutes later, I thanked them both profusely for offering their seats. The man leapt out of his seat but I said he was a tad too late.

Naturally. What else?

I was always made to give up my seat on a bus or train if necessary when I was a child. I was also told to remove myself from a chair in the house if we had visitors and it was necessary. I was then expected to sit on the floor.

We just stood if there was an adult needing a seat. My children were taught the same rule. It was just good manners. The bus that goes near our house is usually full of students, and if I manage to get on it, at least one will offer me a seat.

It was a condition of paying half fair (or free if you were under 5). I remember a sign on the inside of buses saying that children under X age could travel at half price but must give up their seat if an adult was standing. Fair enough, really.

We also had to give up our seats in the house and sit in the floor if there were more people than chairs - most children did, AFAIK. Also, yes to calling people Mr and Mrs, or Aunt and Uncle if they were close friends of parents. The very thought of calling an adult by a first name would have been strange - in fact as an adult my friend's mum would keep telling me to call her Ermintrude* but I just couldn't. She was Mrs Friendname until she died.

My children's generation called all adults by first names apart from teachers. Mine called the couple next door Mr and Mrs, as they were a generation older than us, and had never invited them to use first names. They still refer to them as Mr and Mrs now, although both of them have died. I think they were the only ones though. My younger self would have been quite shocked, but it presumably changed in stages between my childhood and theirs.

*names have been changed to protect the innocent

half fare Autocorrect 😡

Charleygirl5

I always gave up my seat when I was a child.
I try to find a disabled seat when I am travelling by bus or tube but I would never ask for a seat. Many offer their seat and I also accept them graciously. A few days ago I stood in front of two people in their 30s, I stood, gripping my stick and hanging on.

When I got off 10 minutes later, I thanked them both profusely for offering their seats. The man leapt out of his seat but I said he was a tad too late.

Good for you Charley

I taught my girls to hold doors open for adults/elderly. Unfortunately there were some who took advantage of this polite gesture and would one after the other waltz through the doors leaving one of my girls holding the door until I told her to let it go. Such bad manners were rewarded with either DD clearly saying, you are welcome! Most responses were, oh, thank you, some didn’t bother acknowledging them!

You’ve jogged my memory, Doodledog, and I do now remember the signs on buses saying that we had to stand for adults as a condition of our getting half fares.

I do hope this doesn’t go to the logical conclusion of us having to stand up for children because we pay nothing at all.

Always did and still do. I have to remind myself that I’m old enough to keep my seat!
Sometimes it’s difficult to tell if someone needs a seat. My DH was recovering from a fractured spine when we traveled once. The bus was full. I asked a young man if he would give up his seat and explained why. He happily did so. My DH was only in his 50’s and had never needed this courtesy before.

I was taught that you did not call someone by their first name unless invited. Right into the 1970s I referred to people in work as Mr or Mrs until I got to know them well. This was especially true of older people. It was for them to make the social approach of using first names.

We just did it without even thinking about it. First names , however, are just normal here and no one much uses Mr or Mrs. When I was young in the UK I would refer to adults as Aunties and Uncles if they were family friends, whether or not they were relatives.

Very definitely, you just understood as a child this was what was expected and you did it. I remember on a bus going home from high school one afternoon in the 70’s, the cool crowd down the back of the bus were hugely embarrassed when the driver got out of his seat marched down the aisle and told them to give up their seats for standing adults. They complied, albeit with surly faces, would a bus driver do that today I wonder?

Yes . So did the bus conductors . It's how it was in those days I was born in 1958. People didn't put shopping on seats or let dogs sit on them in 60's / 70's. As the bus conductors made sure rules where followed. Also more people used buses not everyone could afford a car. Because of the bus conductors they made sure any trouble makers where soon sorted out and made to leave the bus.

When my children where young in 80's buggies had to be folded and put on the storage shelf. Also there was no place for anyone to board if in a wheelchair.

Buses are still a vital service and I for one couldn't get about without them. As with all modern life something's are for the better some are worse . But on the whole I have found bus drivers to be very helpful and friendly. Unfortunately they have to put up with verbal abuse from some passengers and other road users. But it's the same for anyone who has a job who have to deal with people.

Manners don't cost anything and it's all ages who have forgotten to say please and thank you and to treat people with respect. I always treat people the way I want to be treated.

Yes, of course. Or sit on Mum's lap (horrors!). These threads occur regularly on Mumsnet and there are always people at both extremes. It's no wonder that some children grow up thinking they are royalty...