Gransnet forums

Chat

Page 2 of 2 | First | Previous | Next | Last
| Flip | Customise |

Upset over daughter’s miscarriage

(27 Posts)
Add comment | Report
HeatherTee Thu 23-Feb-23 09:22:59

Struggling with my emotions over my daughter’s miscarriage.
My daughter would have been 8 and a half weeks pregnant by now and had a scan (due to spotting) last week only to be told the heart had stopped and the fetus had stopped growing at 6 weeks. She still hasn’t miscarried and still feels pregnant. She has been told this will continue until her hormones settle. She has an appointment this morning to discuss options.
The issue is that I feel I am supporting her well but I can’t help feeling her hurt, her pain and her grief. I feel this is also compounded by my own loss of what would have been her first born and a grandchild. I sometimes feel selfish - after all, it is them who are going through it. Other times I feel I am honouring what was once a little life growing inside of her. I’m confused; has anyone else experienced this? I should also explain that my daughter is 36 and was told in November that she would need IVF to conceive - this pregnancy happened normally with no intervention - a little miracle.

Add comment | Report
TaraLee Sun 26-Feb-23 12:41:09

I also miscarried my first baby and it was devastating. You sound like a supportive, loving mother to your daughter.

I remember what real insensitivity is. My DH’s sister started asking me if my mother ever miscarried, what about aunts, cousins, the clear implication being, does it run in your family. My brother’s wife told me I was handling it very badly. The only thing I handled badly was making the mistake of speaking with her the day after when the pain was so fresh.

Of course you are in pain — for yourself and your daughter. Allow yourself this grief; it will pass. My mother always used to say, “Don’t worry. The sun hasn’t gone out of business.”

Page 2 of 2 | First | Previous | Next | Last
| Flip | Customise |