Catering for groups? General discussion.

LRavenscroft

Thank you all for your many different answers. The lady who has the allergies is very charming and always has some sort of problem/flare up/helplessness that needs supporting. People will accommodate to be kind and she always says how grateful she is. This is how the situation has arisen. Hey! Ho! Just thought I would like to hear other folk's points of view. Thank you all for your comments.

As others have said, I really can't understand why this lady can't bring a dish to contribute which she can eat herself.
She might well be able to eat some of the food provided by others anyway as there are so many things that don't include various different allergens and the cooks are all present to advise her.
I suppose it depends on how many allergies she has. Gluten free is easy, you can use other starches unless you're using pastry, and even then you can perhaps put the filling in a bowl and serve without it.
I certainly don't think that it is reasonable to expect others to eat only "GF cake, drink oat milk and eat vegan".
I think I would resent having to pander to her "helplessness" as I find vegan food pretty limiting. Perhaps it is time that it was suggested that she contribute herself.

I'm vegetarian by choice. I often take stir fried spicy rice to parties, and the most annoying thing is the non-vegetarians eat that pretty quickly as it tastes good! I make a chick pea curry too, and yes that goes pretty quickly too! Not to mention remarks I get on whether it should be hotter, ( the answer is no, bring your own seasoning and who complains about seasoning for lasagne)!!So I'd say make an effort. It is heathy food!

Sorry I find her actions selfish she’s just 1 person in the group. I don’t see why you should eat her dietary requirements if I was in the group I’d very kindly decline her food. My gd has friend like this and in sleep overs she brings her own food and she’s 14.

My opinion would be to ask her for examples of things she can safely eat, she may bring something and you can provide veg etc. It's not just the food it's hard to prevent other foods coming into contact in the prep area unlike a commercial kitchen.

My ex-DIL insisted she had numerous food issues based on how high she could raise her arms to the side after eating whatever food the problem was! She cooked for herself, leaving DS to cook for their boys. Strange it was, however, that the ‘issues’ disappeared when there was a chocolate cake on offer!
If this lady has genuine allergy issues she will be carrying an epi-pen, and not, I should think, risk cross-contamination from what others have cooked.

I used to cook for a staff canteen and if ppl have food allergies then they tend to bring their own stuff that way they know what they can eat and don’t want to take the risk of you getting it wrong. I wouldn’t take the risk myself. If you get it wrong you could make her poorly even hospitalised.

Presumably the company of the group is the important thing for her here. I would just have a word and ask her what she normally does in these situations. If she is very allergic she will be used to taking everything she can eat with her. I don't think anyone with these difficulties would expect a whole group to cater to them.. and in any case how could she trust that everyone was as thorough as she was with the ingredients used.

If this is a social group holding "bring and share" suppers then she should be expected to contribute something surely?

I always thought the idea of these "American Suppers" was that everyone provides enough for one person, for example a plate of sandwiches, or filled rolls, or sausage rolls etc. All the contributions are placed on the table and everyone takes a bit of everything or maybe I have been doing it wrong for about 30 years although no one has ever complained.

Sago, in England gluten free prescriptions, for sufferers from coeliac disease, are for bread and flour mixes only (the staff of life), and are charged at £9.35 per prescription.

Thank you all for your many different answers. The lady who has the allergies is very charming and always has some sort of problem/flare up/helplessness that needs supporting. People will accommodate to be kind and she always says how grateful she is. This is how the situation has arisen. Hey! Ho! Just thought I would like to hear other folk's points of view. Thank you all for your comments.

Well the first issue is that she doesn't bring anything to a bring and share group!! Has she misunderstood the arrangement? That needs addressing

I think a good idea would be for each member or maybe 2 at a time, including her, take turns to bring something suitable for her -1 do savoury, 1 do a sweet thing. That turns it into something quite fun with different chances to try different recipes!

I think the lady enjoys being part of the group - and maybe isn't very fussed about eating. I'd just tell her to bring her own food (as many vegans do) and let everyone else do the 'bring and share' thing.

Those of us with genuine allergies are wary of accepting anything, really - as we can be so ill afterwards.

My granddaughter had severe cow's milk protein allergy. Although people were told, they'd still often forget and offer her unsuitable snacks (cake, biscuits etc.) She was well trained (by 2 yrs old) to never accept food without a family adult checking it first, so you'd hear her at a party shouting 'No thanks, I not allowed it!

Theexwife

I think she should cater for herself and not be asked to contribute.

Yes

So the whole group has had her dietary choices imposed on them? Clever.
We once organised a leaving do for a member of staff that was entirely gluten free, so he could eat anything and everything he chose, but that was a special occasion.

I think as we get older we all find that certain foods we could eat with gay abandon in our youth can cause discomfort from mild indigestion to more severe reactions. Surely the whole point of this group supper is to bring & share with diverse dishes to make for a more interesting evening. If you're constricted to this one ladies style of eating it will quickly become boring and people might start dropping out to the detriment of the whole group.

There is NO way the whole group should limit their meal to fit in with her. And how she thinks it is ok to not contribute is beyond me. She should cater for her own needs, and the rest of you get on with it. If anyone wants to make a meal which be ok for her to partake in, then they could put it aside and say it is ok.

Some people really take the **ss!

How does she get away with never bringing anything and getting everyone to eat what she needs/wants/prefers? She must have the skin of a rhino.

If everyone in the group is more than happy to prepare dishes which cater for this woman's dietary requirements, that's fantastic. However, surely she should be contributing a dish too? That's only fair. I wouldn't have a problem with making something which met all the requirements, but I would expect her to be making an effort too.

LRavenscroft

toscalily

You say she graciously accepts whatever she is given, is that food food prepared especially for her dietary requirements by the other members of the group and does this lady bring & share something for the rest of the group? I think most of us at times prepare food for others that we do not want or cannot eat ourselves.

Yes, it is food prepared especially for her dietary requirements by other members of the group. And, no, she never brings anything herself. The whole group is now eating vegan, GF and Lacto free.

no, she never brings anything herself. The whole group is now eating vegan, GF and Lacto free.

She sounds like what Mumsnet would call a CF, then .

How does she get away with coming to a shared supper and not bringing anything, never mind asking for special food?

Can you become co-ordinator? Send out an email asking who is coming and what they are bringing, suggesting that vegan dishes would be appreciated. After a week or so, send another, with a list of attendees and their offerings, (including your recalcitrant friend) pointing out that you still haven't heard from X, Y and Z, so is it ok to suggest that they all bring salad, as the bases are covered by everyone else. A couple of nights before the meeting, send a third and final one saying that this is what you are expecting (you can put salad next to anyone who still hasn't replied), adding that if anyone has changed her mind will she let you know, and if anyone is unable to eat from the communal spread, she should bring her own.

toscalily

You say she graciously accepts whatever she is given, is that food food prepared especially for her dietary requirements by the other members of the group and does this lady bring & share something for the rest of the group? I think most of us at times prepare food for others that we do not want or cannot eat ourselves.

Yes, it is food prepared especially for her dietary requirements by other members of the group. And, no, she never brings anything herself. The whole group is now eating vegan, GF and Lacto free.

When I began eating a very strict diet to uncover food allergies I always took my own food/s.

Hopefully with enough to share if anyone else was interested.

If this lady eats what she is given then I doubt the allergies are very real.

When I accidently ate a fairy cake with ingredients I shoild have avoided I was sick for 2 days.
Its too big a risk to chance it.

Today was the last meal of the season at our house (ex Vicarage, so with second kitchen and large ex Parish room at the back) for the 'older' folks of our village and the next. Rural, many of them ex farmers- not a single allergy, intolerance, veggie, vegan, etc, etc. I don't do the cooking though, just prepare the room and help with service and activities + end cleaning.

I have a rare allergy to/intolerance of the bacterium that change milk into cheese, crème fraiche or yoghurt. When prepping for a shared meal I provide food I CAN eat safely, but which seems to be enjoyed by all the diners. I would second the suggestion that folk with allergies should get first dibs at the buffet, so that they can chose food they have prepared themselves or know to be safe for them. Also, I wish that people who have used an unusual or unexpected ingredient in a dish should label the dish accordingly. I have been really ill for a week after ingesting 2 cheese & onion crisps, which I had assumed were plain and also a spoonful of what I assumed to be a trifle topped with whipped cream

She should bring her own food, as catering for a gluten, lactose free and vegan diet would be a challenge for most cooks and could mistakenly include dangerous ingredients. If of course she is genuinely intolerant, not just following it through choice.

There's a big difference between someone who is choosing not to eat certain foods - for whatever reason - and someone who is genuinely allergic to something or has a condition like coeliac disease. If I was in the latter group, I'd be bringing my own food rather than risk eating something which someone else (however well-meaning) had prepared.