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Why so much inhumanity these days? I despair.

(59 Posts)
ixion Fri 14-Apr-23 16:49:30

Not aware that I am being particularly sensitive today, but a brief look at the BBC News website shows me, inter al.,

*Another baby returned to his parents against social workers's advice and subsequently killed-
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-derbyshire-65188675

*A member of the public leading a seagull on a lead. The bird had to be put down-
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lancashire-65274023

* Met officers mocking Katie Price's disabled son and other
sexist, racist, homophobic and transphobic messages.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-65274794

Where are we going wrong?
Or was it ever thus?

I could weep.

ixion Fri 14-Apr-23 18:56:40

varian

I do feel sorry for social workers.

They risk being pilloried in the press if they ever remove a child from its parents and even more so if they don't and something tragic like this happens.

My understanding is that social workers had requested a longer period of 'transition', but that they were overridden.

"Child protection concerns meant Finley was taken from his parents shortly after he was born in February 2020.
But later that year, he was returned to their care through a court order following an eight-week transition, despite social workers asking for a six-month period." From the BBC article.

As I recall, we have former Social Workers and Child Protection specialists in our midst.
Could someone please explain about transitions and Court orders in these cases?
Thank you.

Jaffacake2 Fri 14-Apr-23 19:27:12

A court order is a decision made by a judge in a family court when presented with evidence from social services and heath services that a baby or child is at significant risk of harm through abuse of neglect by its care givers ie parents or guardians. There is a review after a period of time based on reports from frontline workers as to whether there has been an improvement from the parents in their home circumstances, life style and their cooperation at working with social services. The court judge then will decide whether a transition period where the child is returned to the family home for short access visits whilst being monitored.
I worked as a health visitor for 25 years and had to present court reports about the health and parenting abilities together with social workers. This was extremely stressful dealing with parents who were drug users, neglectful of their child and very aggressive to frontline workers.
Very frustrating that a judge then decided the child could return home from foster care in spite of our reports advising against their return.
Remembering these little ones still makes me upset.
But I tried my best to keep them safe.

Forsythia Fri 14-Apr-23 19:29:06

The judge should be named, shamed and sacked.

Hithere Fri 14-Apr-23 19:33:22

Humanity has always been this cruel

We now see it more often due to advances in technology

NanaDana Fri 14-Apr-23 19:53:34

Sadly, good news doesn't sell newspapers. If we truly believed that the news we see in the media accurately represented the life experience of the legendary "average" person on the Clapham omnibus, we would have very good reason to be depressed. In fact, there is little or no balance in what is reported, with priority always given to doom and gloom. I honestly believe that most people are kind, caring and honest, and want nothing more than to be allowed to live a peaceful, harmonious life. So yes, report the bad news by all means, but where is the balance?

Smileless2012 Fri 14-Apr-23 19:58:54

Social workers are damned when they take children away from their parent(s) and damned if they don't, or return them to their abusers.

tickingbird Fri 14-Apr-23 20:07:18

I have to admit I won’t read about baby Finlay as I struggle to put the thoughts out of my mind. I don’t know what the answer is but if I had my way they’d both forego the right to breed anymore. No sentence will stop such cruelty as they don’t think about that when they’re doing the deed.

I’ll no doubt be accused of inhumanity and Hitler will be mentioned. Don’t bother as I won’t come back on to read the comments and I won’t change my stance on this.

ixion Fri 14-Apr-23 20:12:14

Thank you Jaffacake2 for that explanation.

Blondiescot Fri 14-Apr-23 20:15:24

Smileless2012

Social workers are damned when they take children away from their parent(s) and damned if they don't, or return them to their abusers.

I understand this, I really do and I know there are many excellent, hard working social workers out there who are doing the best they can under the circumstances. However, I've also seen at first hand how things can go badly wrong when they don't do their job properly. If one social work department had communicated with another as they were supposed to, I wouldn't have nearly lost my grandson. Fortunately, he was fine, but he did have to live with us for two years while they bent over backwards to accommodate the person who could so easily have ended his life.

Oreo Fri 14-Apr-23 21:30:53

tickingbird

I have to admit I won’t read about baby Finlay as I struggle to put the thoughts out of my mind. I don’t know what the answer is but if I had my way they’d both forego the right to breed anymore. No sentence will stop such cruelty as they don’t think about that when they’re doing the deed.

I’ll no doubt be accused of inhumanity and Hitler will be mentioned. Don’t bother as I won’t come back on to read the comments and I won’t change my stance on this.

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Same here

Oreo Fri 14-Apr-23 21:33:24

ixion I know what you mean but think it’s just we are more aware now with rolling news and tech of all that goes on. No horrible detail is spared.

M0nica Fri 14-Apr-23 22:02:06

There is nothing remarkable about the current examples of man's inhumanity to man (or woman).

In fact I would say things are far better than in the past. how many children have been spared terribly lives and deaths because now in society as a whole, we do not accept a parents total rights over their children, mans total domination of his wife.

All these things happened and more so, but were accepted as 'normal'. On the other hand we hanged women for infanticide, children for stealing and sent small boys up chimneys, down mines and under fast moving weaving machines.

We live in an age more compassionate than any it has followed.

Witzend Sat 15-Apr-23 08:02:19

We are bombarded with news, most of it bad.
Apart from a quick flick through the paper (we still get one) every day, plus a look at the BBC news website, I do tend to avoid it. Which is not so easy in this house, since dh is addicted (it doesn’t depress him) so it’s usually on - TV or R4 but during the day at least he’s mostly in his lair (study) and I’m elsewhere.

At least we no longer burn people at the stake or inflict horrific tortures, or confine poverty-stricken people to the workhouse. From my recent hospital ward window I had a very good view of the old workhouse - which previously I hadn’t even known was there.

Iam64 Sat 15-Apr-23 08:27:03

I agree the news does seem relentlessly depressing. Some if it links to the 24 hour news cycle on radio and tv. I’ve reduced my listening time and watch ch4 often for only 20 minutes so I’m another avoiding being overwhelmed.

Finlay deserves a thread of his own really, no criticism of you Ixion for including him in this one. I listed to the radio as I was driving yesterday, felt tears starting so switched off. I’ve read on line this morning as well as the link in the OP. I’ve seen no reference to the recommendation of his Children’s Guardian. What we know so far, is the local authority took the uncommon step of removal at birth, so the safeguarding issues were identified and it was clear he was at risk of significant harm.
The local authority wanted a long 6 month transition period. Again, pointing to ongoing significant concerns. The judge disagreed, wanting things to move more quickly. If the Judge disagrees with the recommendation of the independent Children’’s Guardian, written reasons are given. The review will indicate whether the Judge was influenced by the CG or went against their recommendation.

These parents are responsible, and that’s where my anger rests. It’s impossible though, not to acknowledge the huge pressures children’s services are under. Case loads too large, little if any preventive, support services and the stage at which intervention happens gets more serious all the time. We can only imagine the heart break felt by Finlay’s foster carers and the social workers involved here. His injuries are beyond horrific. One thing stands out though. If you can’t get in to see a baby on a statutory order, with a child protection plan, you call the police. They’ ll get you in, covid or no covid. And in such a vulnerable child, an assessment by a paediatrician in those circumstances wouldn’t be exceeding reasonable concern

Toetoe Sat 15-Apr-23 08:42:38

Living alone is very hard and hearing how sad the world is , I try not to listen or watch but we are bombarded with disasters wars and awful things . I could cry for the world . I often say its not my place now , it feels too harsh

choughdancer Sat 15-Apr-23 10:16:42

I agree MOnica and Iam64.

Brahumbug Sat 15-Apr-23 20:43:33

What is really terrible is that a baby Finley death happens EVERY WEEK!

silverlining48 Sun 16-Apr-23 07:17:41

Constant criticism of social workers is not helpful, mostly they are doing their best. Decisions about children are not made by just one agency but by multi disciplinary groups of police, health, education and anyone else with knowledge of and involved with the family. Yet it’s only social workers who are blamed.
It’s difficult and stressful work, parents can lie, neighbours do lie and it’s never easy to tell what the truth is.
Children are ideally better with family, because removing them into care doesn’t always have a good outcome.
Families can put on a show, persuade workers they are doing their best. Children are notoriously loyal to their parents and if older do not report problems and if young know nothing different.
Who would be a social worker? Its a thankless job. Yes mistakes happen but it’s dammed if you do and damned if you don’t.

choughdancer Sun 16-Apr-23 20:26:11

Good post silverlining48.

I remember working in a primary school where a boy was clearly hungry, unkempt, unwell etc. The school knew his mum was a single parent with a big drug problem. There was a strong feeling that he would be better off away from home as a result. One day he was crying, and the biggest thing he said he was scared about was being taken away from his mum.
I was a relatively inexperienced teaching assistant at the time, so wasn't actively involved, but I've never forgotten this.

Iam64 Sun 16-Apr-23 21:01:03

Cloughdancer, as a newly qualified sw I remember my manager helping me talk through my concerns about a boy. He told me he once removed a boy of six who had bruises and a broken arm. The boy was seeking shouting to his dad I’ll soon be home dad

Primrose53 Sun 16-Apr-23 21:22:55

Iam64

Cloughdancer, as a newly qualified sw I remember my manager helping me talk through my concerns about a boy. He told me he once removed a boy of six who had bruises and a broken arm. The boy was seeking shouting to his dad I’ll soon be home dad

That is so true. It seems the worse parents are, the more kids want to love them. I grew up next to a family of 8 children. They weren’t abused but they were ignored and neglected. Father worked long hours so was always in bed when he wasn’t working and the kids had to keep quiet or play outside. Mother had loads of boyfriends and used to be in the pub every night leaving the kids to fend for themselves. Neither of them ever took the kids out or went to school events. They dragged themselves up. My Mum used to have a couple of them in at a time and cook them some chips or give them sandwiches when their Mum was at the pub or Bingo.

Yet when the mother died at a great age, you would have thought she was Mother Teresa!

biglouis Mon 17-Apr-23 11:15:50

I dont believe that the world is any worse than it used to be. More crime and offences are reported now because it is easier. There are nosy neighbours all too ready to snitch to social services because the kids next door cry a lot. As a child I was often given a slap or a whalloping by my father but then so were my friends. I sometimes went to school with huge bruises on my arms from my father's fists. None of my neighbours or teachers thought to call social services. The family has always been a potentially dark place in which offences might be concealed. This is what turned me off the entire idea of the "family" and so called "family life".

Iam64 Mon 17-Apr-23 18:12:03

biglouis, you’re right, parents and carers have always subjected children to all manner of abuse. The figure of one child each week killed by parent or step parent has remained the same over decades.
As you sadly experienced, it used to be accepted that many children were hit with fists or belts. That’s no longer socially acceptable and parents may be prosecuted

What I believe is different, is the number of parents who are dependent on drugs and/or alcohol. Services are overwhelmed. The goal posts for intervention get wider by the day. The capacity for violence, cruelty and out of control behaviour when substances feature is ever present

M0nica Tue 18-Apr-23 07:58:19

What is more horrific being neglaected or abused by parents who take drugs, or having to climb, often hot chimneys, at 4 or 5, or work down mines in the dark at 3, or risk being killed by unprotected factory machinery at 7 or 8 because your family are so poor that without your money the family will starve?

I would suggest that the proportion of children killed and injured by the necessity of working or starving probably exceeds those damaged by parental drug taking.

Blondiescot Tue 18-Apr-23 08:31:42

I would imagine each of those scenarios is equally horrific for the child itself...