F’N Sick husband

But in a reasonably happy marriage of course you'd feel that way, glammanana. Very understandable

But its not fortunate to be stuck in an unhappy marriage with years ahead with someone who says they'd divorce you as a sort of threat. Or in my case open abuse, police, et al.
Sadly, grief of loss of good bits but oh so ambiguous as badly hurt and frightened.

Thank you both!

glamma.

I still think it's a strange thread.

MerylStreep

Kitty
f%-£&*g. 😉
I think there’s too much sherbet being imbibed. 😉

With you on that!

A rant on a Sunday night may be entirely understandable but OP gives no evidence to substantiate domestic abuse, or any other reason to “LTB”. He may well be elderly and infirm - it can come to us all in the end - and the feebleness may be entirely justified.
Most people will have felt this way on occasion but that’s the “for worse” that goes along with “for better”.
I hope OP has calmed down and taken a less hysterical look at what she sees as her predicament.

M0nica

To be fair I think there is, not unreasonable resentment that after the OP has nursed her husband through 2 serious illnesses, the moment she gets ill he starts talking of divorce.

It could be just panic, some people, mainly men, but including some women go into deep distress when faced with seeing someone they love suffering and not being able to do anything to put everything right. When my sister was on life support, before donating organs for transplant, we rushed back from holiday, to see her. In her room, two members of the family stood white faced at the back of the room, pressing themselves against the wall, as if to push through it, while two of us stood close to my dear sister and were happy to touch and talk to her she was still 'breathing' from the machine and warm. it wasn't that those against the wall didn't care -- they did, but they were overwhelmed with distress.

Mind you others are just selfish and do not want to care for someone, but expect others to look after them.

I agree with your balanced view, Monica, although I did agree with @Kandinsky too.....a bit! and the post about the 'too much sherbet...'

Foxygloves

A rant on a Sunday night may be entirely understandable but OP gives no evidence to substantiate domestic abuse, or any other reason to “LTB”. He may well be elderly and infirm - it can come to us all in the end - and the feebleness may be entirely justified.
Most people will have felt this way on occasion but that’s the “for worse” that goes along with “for better”.
I hope OP has calmed down and taken a less hysterical look at what she sees as her predicament.

I find it difficult to read the threats and lack of caring when O/P was ill herself as "rant on a Sunday night". O/P suggests much more than the one divorce threat and we've commented accordingly. Hysterical? Why?

When we marry we promise to love and take care of each other not to threaten divorce when you want it to be a one way street.

Being a full-time carer is often very draining, both physically an mentally - however much love the carer has for the other person.

It is not being selfish for that carer to start to think of their own needs.

Surely care assistance needs to come from other sources, other than the OP, and as there does no appear to be financial problems, then this could be the way to go. Bring in outside carers, whether on a daily basis or just once or twice a week, etc. whatever suits both the sick person and the carer.

Go on a cruise,,,by yourself

Wyllow3

When we marry we promise to love and take care of each other not to threaten divorce when you want it to be a one way street.

It sounds as if honours are even on that score.

Wyllow3

When we marry we promise to love and take care of each other not to threaten divorce when you want it to be a one way street.

Seems to me one goes to counselling for help - much before divorce.

Can’t you ask his family to help.
I don’t really understand your post. Do you mean you have already nursed one sick husband and are now nursing another?
Is your husband genuinely ill or do you think he’s faking it.
Is he elderly?
If he did want a divorce when you were ill I can understand why you’re not so happy with things now.
I’m with kitty in not knowing what FN meant. It would never occur to me that someone would use such a phrase about their husband. You don’t like him much do you.

glammanana, so true.

I wish my dear husband was here so I could nag and take care of him

For better or worse
For richer or poore
In sickness and health
Till death do us part.

Yeah, right! Glad Im not married any more. It takes me all my time to look after myself without some man wearing the "dressing gown of doom" whinging about how bad he feels.

Something does not sit right with this post imo.

Norah

Wyllow3

When we marry we promise to love and take care of each other not to threaten divorce when you want it to be a one way street.

Seems to me one goes to counselling for help - much before divorce.

Definitely, no doubt at all, if both are willing and open. Attending a session is not enough - there has to be the willingness to engage.

Ending a life together is painful and lonely. Even in my case with domestic abuse, never easy.

timetogo2016

Something does not sit right with this post imo.

The whole thread.
I wonder if OP is feeling better this morning?

Pound to a penny this situation has either resolved itself or vanished into the mists and the hard light of day.

It's an interesting assumption about marriage though. Under no circumstances would I want my husband to care for me, we have had discussions about this after watching the generation above do it, not for us.