What would you do about this holiday?

luckygirl, cancel. I cancelled a holiday once when realisation struck, that I was widowed and that I would be killing time on my own. You also have the mobility issues so don`t hesitate and don`t think about the cost this time

Apart from the main fact that the reason you chose to go was because of the festival which has now been cancelled, the cottage situation would be a no from me. I am not good on stairs and cottages normally have steep stairs so that would worry me even if I was with someone. And to be upstairs with the bathroom downstairs would add to my advice to you to cancel this trip. And the 4 hour drive as well. I am a great one for giving things a go but this wouldn’t be a good idea in my opinion. Plan a holiday a couple of hours from home and maybe find a nice bed and breakfast with a grounds floor bedroom. Or a flat in a market town with lots to see and do.

Is there anyone who you would like to go with you?
Nice to have someone to chat about the day together.

Such a lot of good advice here. Personally, I’d cancel and see if the Company would credit you, even with a reduced voucher to use elsewhere. If not, just put it down to experience - other than the Festival - the whole thing sounded a little impractical, from the journey to the accommodation.
I’d agree that a hotel break nearer to home, perhaps in a market town or cathedral city might be a good start for a solo traveller.

I would cancel too - it all sounds too risky and you don’t really need to test yourself like this. Write off the money and think about something safer and perhaps new to you. I can’t face booking a holiday on my own yet, and perhaps I never will, but I am not castigating myself for my timidity. We have had so much to cope with that we need to be kind to ourselves.

Luckygirl - looks like you are talking yourself out of this holiday. If it’s going to cause you a lot of stress , please cancel it .Not worth the hassle.

I am so grateful to you all for taking the trouble to help me think this through.

I plan to ring the owner tomorrow - I have her number now as I paid the final balance the week before last. I will ask whether she might be able to send a photo of the stairs, which will give me a clearer picture of the safety angle; and I will also try and find out about the sofa bed downstairs - if it takes up the whole room then that would not be great as there is no way I could return the bed to a sofa myself. I also need to find out how low it is, as I may not even be able to get up off it.

Armed with more detail I might find it easier to make a decision. I booked this a long way in advance (before my back problem and then surgery) in order to coincide with the festival, as everywhere gets booked up that week.

By the way "Baggs" I do possess a sort of small collapsible travel bucket which might fit the bill when it comes to calls of nature in the night!

My state of mind veers from coping fine to being a weepy heap - don't let anyone tell you that those who are bereaved "get over it" - they don't - as many of you here will know. This will be an important factor and I will not know how that stands till the time comes.

I guess I am lucky to be able to afford a holiday, so I feel I should at least try.

I almost cancelled a holiday to Venice because of nerves and mobility issues. A couple of days before leaving I was in tears and ready to pack it in. My nephew persuaded me to continue with my plans. He could not travel with me as he gets dreadfully travel sick even on a bus! He has never owned a passport.

Venice is not a city for the mobility impaired. Transfering to a water taxi from the dock yard is a frightening business, However there are burly men there to help and the Italians are so understanding. In the end I did travel. I booked mobility assistance at the airport (dodged the queues and the staff at the airline were lovely). I didnt do all the things I wanted to do but I did some of them that were in my capacity. Im glad I went. I will never see Venice again but Im so glad I made it one last time.

The advice in this thread does vary but your safety is the most important at your time of life. I would be very wary of narrow and steep stairs and try to sleep on one level with the bathroom.

Luckygirl, do let us know how the conversation goes with the owner of the cottage. I hope you are able to make a decision soon. It is difficult for you.

Hope the owner lets you cancel!

I am surprised at people saying cancel. Though I am younger than some on this forum I think. So they may be older and wiser.

Normally on here, advice seems to be "go for it".
Not sure what is different this time?

You can turn around and come back if things get too much? One way or another?

A few years after he died I was persuaded to go on holiday to a place where we had enjoyed several lovely holidays with our disabled son. I was in two minds as I thought I would find it too sad but to my relief I didn’t and I enjoyed all the places we had been to and I was glad I went. So that may not be an issue if that helps. It’s the other concerns that may be problematical. I do hope you manage to resolve it Luckygirl and the owner of the cottage is understanding.

- the reason for going was to go to a music festival in St Davids Cathedral every day
- but it has had to be cancelled - there are lots of lovely other places to visit, but the whole focus of the holiday has gone.

If I were you I would cancel too and hope to get my deposit back. If you explain why you were going and why you wish to cancel, explaining about your surgery if necessary, I hope when you phone they'll be understanding.

You could have a lovely time but it is the kind of area where being able to walk well would be a bonus.

However - I'd make plans to look for other similar musical events and plan for another break away, not too far away, and perhaps look for more suitable accommodation

From what you’ve described, the minuses definitely outnumber the pluses, so in your situation I would cancel the holiday.
Actually never mind in your situation - I have no mobility issues at all, but even I would not relish the thought of nocturnal trips up and down stairs just to go to the loo!

There have been lots of good suggestions of alternative holidays which might be more suitable for you.

I think I would cancel and try to get some of my money back, even if you have to forfeit a deposit. Look at going on a tour with others , or maybe even a cruise ( lots of people who are alone seem to go on them). There are special tours for over 50 s here, maybe something like that. Mr. Google would be your friend in finding something!

I also think you should cancel Lucky girl . Too many negatives.

Maybe if the house can be relet, you can get a refund.

I tackled a very long drive on my own 6 months after DH died. I managed but didn't enjoy the journey. We had always shared the driving and even when he couldn't drive anymore he talked to me and read maps .

Luckily I wasn't on my own at the other end as I met DD and her family there.
We were sad but sad together!

This year I shall spend a week at an interest holiday. I shall either go by train and bus or get a lift.

This is a tricky one. On the one hand I think it’s natural to be getting cold feet. But you have driven there many times and know the area well, and I’m sure could enjoy it, even by yourself. On the other hand, there are other factors to consider such as the suitability of the accommodation and the fact the music festival is off. Maybe it would be best to investigate alternatives this time to see if you can get something which suits better?

No idea whether this location would be any good for you, but I’ve heard there is Aldeburgh and Snape Maltings in Suffolk which have music events and little shops to potter around.

I think you should cancel, too, although it makes me sad for the Luckygirl we used to know. But do replace it with something similar but with more suitable accommodation as others have suggested - even if it involves a bit of effort, getting away and seeing other people and places is always worth it!

It sounds like
You no longer want to go, as the reason for going has now gone. If you don’t want to go, don’t go, I have in the past gone to things I paid for that I knew I didn’t want to go on, when the time come or changes had taken place. Now I put it down to experience and if I don’t want to go I just don’t. It sounds lovely but maybe your choices of accommodation were based on what was available that week. As others have said, look for something more suitable to your needs and something you know you will cope with and enjoy. Best of luck

It’s a risk…..and vacations are about relaxation and enjoyment and not anxiety and worry! Cancel it - ask for a credit if at all possible and if not, just chalk it up to a decision made for peace of mind. We all make mistakes in life…..but we learn from them and it’s how we move past them that’s important. Your health and well being will thank you for taking this decision!

Do you by any chance have travel insurance as you booked before your mobility problems?

I understand why you are in two minds, I haven’t had the courage to go away completely on my own since being widowed. I have been away with my DC & GC and also went to a hotel in Scotland with friends in a similar situation and had a good time.
Going back to a place that has special memories could bring mixed feelings but it may be a step you need to take. Is there someone amongst your friends or family who would enjoy going with you, if not I’d be tempted to change to a more suitable hotel close by with a lift and people on hand if there are any problems. I hope you manage to get away and have a lovely time, it’s never going to be an easy step, good luck.

I’m in a similar position with mobility and my health generally, and I wouldn’t take on all those stairs on my own! This sounds like one of those situations which offers me a ‘wake up call’ about what I can manage on my own, having ignored my restrictions as much as I can. I think those restrictions might cause you to miss your husband’s presence more than usual.

I’d give the cottage company a try - they may let you cancel on compassionate grounds, given that your event has been cancelled, and the unsuitability of the property, and your bereavement.

I hope you manage to have a holiday which lets you relax and recuperate.

I too advise cancelling.

I know it means loosing some money, but honestly will you feel better saving the money and being miserable on holiday?

It is brave of you to try going away on your own, so I would suggest you regard this cancelled holiday as an object lesson in what not to do. It sounds as if it might just be too early for you to revist a place that you and your husband used to go to.

I would suggest you next time book a packet tour making sure there is suitable accomodation and help for you as you have mobility prolems.

Going on a packet tour does not mean you have to go everywhere with the group, as long as you tell the guide that you are not coming, but doing your own thing and when you will be back at the hotel.

Group excursions are not my thing either, but it is, I think, slightly preferable being one of a group and able to get help if needed, than going away alone.