What would you do about this holiday?

On a practical note - could you sleep downstairs, maybe the sofa is a sofa-bed as it's a holiday cottage?

Given all the circumstances you describe, if it were me I would cancel this holiday. The accommodation doesn’t sound safe for you, the focus of the holiday is no longer there, and it sounds as though memories would trigger sadness. You were very brave to book it though, imo.
Could you find a singles holiday for older people, where the accommodation is safe, others will be nearby and will move at a similar pace to you and there are no memories to be triggered?

Have you ever considered staying a few nights in a country hotel with good access routes? Bus, taxi, train? There may be a small village and country walks (short distance) or nice gardens you can wander around/sit in. As I get older I tend to do what suits me and will let things go which do not. I stayed recently at a lovely country hotel by the sea with good bus access and it was lovely. The staff were so friendly and the sitting room was very cosy with games or you could read or order a cocktail from the bar. They also catered for my strange digstive system. Hope you find what suits and good luck!

Sensible advice GSM. My thoughts were that if you explained your concerns to the rental company maybe they could allow you to transfer to another of their properties perhaps in a countryside or coastal area nearer your home. Just to have a change of scenery can give a boost.

Suitable accommodation is a Must, then when and where would suit you for a change of scene and interest? Do you want to drive or would a bus or train suit better? Are you happy to cater for yourself or would you enjoy a break from that? If walking much is not on, how about a hotel with hobbies or activities as part of the deal? A short 'all' in break might be an easy way to explore how you feel about all this. - To an area new to you - no preconceived ideas about what it is like.

More good ideas from LR !

I’d be as torn as you are lucky. It’s an area I know well and am always drawn to. What would I do? Instinct says I’d probably go and sleep on the sofa, if I really hated it after two days I’d just come back home. I’m sorry. That’s no real help. What do your family think? They understand your mobility issues. Perhaps ask their opinion but in the end it does have to be your decision. Wishing you well.

Well, I’ll answer the easy bit first. Yes I could go on my own. But I would do lots of research and planning so that I have lots to keep me busy and interested. The worse thing for me would be to be at a loose end - then I would think too much and get sad.

You know the area well so you can easily do the planning etc necessary.

Driving - well we are 77 and 78 now and are very strict about only driving for 2 hours and then stopping and in our case swopping. So if I was on my own I think that I would plan to stop somewhere decent and treat myself to lunch. Quite frankly if the drive is over 100 miles I would consider an overnight stop, which we do when driving north from the south coast.

So mobility - perhaps take up something like photography so record nature and views etc rather than walk in it if you get my drift.

Just some thoughts🙂

But definitely give it a go. If you surprise yourself and enjoy it, then you E cracked the nut. If you hate it well in a way you’ve solved another problem, and don’t repeat it.

Btw, we’ve been on tours with companies like Riviera, and there is always at least one person with mobility problems. Last time in Puglia we helped a lady who was on her own as she had real difficulties and blimey what an interesting and intelligent lady she was, I struck up a real friendship and we spent the entire holiday tottering around together.

I think you have been given some very sensible suggestions. Your fear of the stairs stands out to me I would choose somewhere all on one level. Why don't you contact the company you booked through and explain and see if they can find something that suits your needs better,

I agree with Germanshepherdsmum , with the circumstances that you describe I feel it would turn out a very sad holiday for you . On a more positive note though , maybe you could sleep downstairs somehow , and hire or buy a mobility scooter so you could then get about ? I have one that comes apart and fits into my small car . I can well understand how you feel as I miss my times away with my late partner , also I have mobility issues .

https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202305/medium-688637-img-2434.jpeg https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202305/medium-539063-img-2435.jpeg

Riverwalk

On a practical note - could you sleep downstairs, maybe the sofa is a sofa-bed as it's a holiday cottage?

Alternatively a bucket upstairs and possibly a shewee.

There are also expanding bottles specially designed for tricky situations. I used to take on to cub and scout camps and use it in my tent during the night. Uriwell.

It sounds as though you really don't want to go and are trying to justify cancelling.

It is ok to cancel, the money is spent, and going and having a miserable time is not going to mean you have had your money's worth.

Maybe your first trip away would be better somewhere without memories or perhaps just for a couple of days.

If you cancel now it may be able to still be rented so you would be entitled to a refund.

Did you book through an agency? Ring them and see if you can swap to a bungalow or somewhere more suited to your needs.

I think you're talking yourself out of it. I'd say stop overthinking and just go. You don't have to stay if you don't want to. You might really enjoy it.

Consider:

taking a friend
going by train, then cab
anything that makes life easier

Yes, you could sleep downstairs - or take a bucket and loo roll. Do take your mobile charger and keep it (and the mobile) nearby at all times. Take a few frozen favourite meals and a really good book.

Just reading your post makes me think that you really don't want to go. You don't have to. The whole point of going has gone, the accommodation is at best uncomfortable and at worst unsafe for you, you worry about the drive and feel that you will feel so sad there on your own after so many happy visits with your DH. Keep those happy memories. Don't spoil them by a miserable time there on your own.
You're a sensible adult in control of what you do. You can do as you like at this stage in your life. So do that. Good luck.

Good post Aveline. I was reminded of that old Sandie Shaw song, Always Something There To Remind Me.

My concern would be the suitability of the accommodation. As others have said try changing the cottage ?I have booked a small cottage in Cornwall for just myself. Near the shops and the sea with some easyish walks . It’s the first time on my own , I do know the area well and did stay with my late DH but don’t think it will be sad who knows 🤷‍♀️. I have an added issue in that I don’t drive so need somewhere that has good public transport. I know my family are a bit worried I will be unhappy alone but I am alone at home anyway…
Looking forward to this experiment-, if it isn’t OK then I may branch out on an organised trip. But never been one to like organised trips and although I have some widowed or single friends not sure about holidays with them . My closest friends still have partners and would feel even more sad holidaying with them .

I very much agree with others that the reason for the holiday, the whole focus, has gone, which is why all the negatives are coming home to you.

I would try and cancel with whoever it’s booked with, either swapping for something nearer home or postponing it for a later date.

If that’s not possible, I think I would reluctantly accept that the money has been spent but that doesn’t mean you must go and be miserable.

I do hope it works out for you.

A great shame- but it does not sound ideal- so why not sell the holiday at a bit of a loss. Perhaps advertise it here- someone might take it up. Or a local site, ask family and friends to advertise it.

It is so so important that this first venture our on your own is a success and a joy, even if tainted with sadness. Go closer from home, and make sure that the cottage, or Hôtel, is ideal for you and your limited mobility and back pain- perhaps with a spa, and food cooked for you. And where you can drive not too far and out of comfort zone, or can go easily with public transport.

Plenty of time to try and sell it on. It is such a beautiful area, and must be amazing in June- but probably not for you this time.

Or yes, explain to the Cottage rental company that it is now too far and too difficult for you with loo downstairs, and see if if they are prepared to swap for something closer and more suitable- even if you take a small financial hit. Almost 1 month in advance, they should agree to help.

Which region could you travel to easily, shorter drive or pt?

I'm 76, and although still reasonably fit, I'd find the solo drive to west Pembrokeshire quite demanding. Even from somewhere like Gloucester, it's a 4 hour drive to St. David's area. I can quite understand why you wanted to make a sentimental journey, but with your mobility limitations and with the cancellation of the festival, I think I'd be looking for a more user-friendly, more accessible option. Presumably it's just your deposit you'd be losing at this distance from the date. Maybe just put it down to experience, and plan an alternative.

I think going somewhere I had been with DH would make me sad. Just my personal view but you don't seem to be looking forward to this trip for various reasons. Maybe call this holiday off and plan another making sure you go to somewhere on one level so no stairs. Also somewhere more easily accessible that's new to you.

agree with GSM.
don't go.
your safety and well-being are more imp than money.
all the best.

I think you should go! You were brave to book it so now go and try it. You don't have to stay the whole week if you aren't happy. Buy yourself some treats, get a couple of new books and go for it! Good luck!

Could you transfer the cottage to Gloucester and attend the Three Choirs Festival in July instead? Or maybe take a friend to St David's and share the driving..