What would you do about this holiday?

I read gransnet a lot hut have never posted. My late partner and I (he died 2 years ago) often went to a holiday place in Cornwall. When I went back for the first time alone I wondered if I'd be very sad. Interestingly although the first few hours were hard after that it brought back many happy memories and has since become the place I am most at peace. I can't answer for mobility etc problems but I'd encourage you to go

I am still trying to speak with the owner.

Unfortunately I am not able to lift a mobility aid into the car owing to the back surgery. In fact I am going to have to put my luggage into separate carrier bags in small amounts as I will not be able to lift a case in/out of the car!

I use a mobility scooter. They do come apart to get into a car boot. I always stay at Premier Inn or Travelodge as they have accessible rooms. I also take a rollator to get round rooms. Have an optimistic outlook as a holiday should be enjoyed not dreaded. If I were you I wouldn't drive.

Luckygirl3 you could be my sister in law. Everything you describe about your mobility issues fits her situation perfectly, including the emergency alarm and the serious back injury last year. It is 5 years this week since my beloved brother, her DH, died suddenly.
I am actually in Tenerife with her at the moment, in a little quiet resort they visited twice per year for about 15 years. She wanted to visit one last time so I have come with her as it wouldn’t be manageable on her own. Now we are here she has very mixed feelings, it is obviously an emotional roller coaster for her. They had a restaurant they loved, but she will not visit it. I think what I am trying to say is be prepared to have mixed feelings if you do visit the place you loved together.

It sounds like your accommodation isn’t right for your current needs, had my SIL booked it I would have tried to talk her out of it because of the stairs. Your posts read like you have pretty much decided that you shouldn’t go, sometimes we just need to take the financial hit and move on. There is plenty more suitable holiday accommodation out there.

I agree with GSM that the main focus of the holiday has now gone for you . So the inconveniences you were prepared to put up with will now be more annoying. Especially the stairs for tge toilet. I would rebook a different music festival with everything is convinient and on one level . There are holiday places such as sandpipers where everything is safe and accessible if that is necessary for you or search accessible holidays if all thats needed are a few adaptations. Good luck with whatever you decide.

I do know something of how you feel, having lost my DH almost a year ago now and have been considering maybe some future solo trip .
I think that the accommodation doesn't sound too safe in your circumstances so, as suggested above, maybe try asking the company if you could change to something more suitable. Failing that I would just cancel even though it means losing a deposit.
Perhaps a future booking might be to a completely 'new' place that might involve fewer upsetting memories and maybe to somewhere you could travel to via coach/train so as to avoid the long drive element?
Best of luck with your decision and I hope it turns out well for you.

Go with your gut instincts ! If you fancy going still then do go, if not, then find something else to do that you’ll enjoy Good luck x

Lots of good suggestions on already for you. Personally as me and DH have got older I now only book UK holidays with 'free cancellaton' included. Last year due to problems I had to cancel a round trip of six guest houses and hotels around Scotland. The company cancelled all of them for us without hesitation.

Hi. I’m 78 and lost my husband 4 years ago I would not worry about going away on my own. I don’t drive so would need to arrange transport. I would not go under the conditions you describe Maybe try and change where you go and the mode of transport. Not safe to be on your own having mobility issues Put your sensible head on what would you advise a friend who said she was going to this place ? Lots of love hope you have a wonderful time whatever you decide

I would cancel and hope to get at least some of the money back BUT I would try to find something else that doesn’t include all the negatives you mention. There are other music festivals and you may even find that there are groups travelling there together. I really admire you for considering it but to my mind there are too many negatives. Really hoping you’ll get a positive response from the cottage owner.

Are you insured?
Maybe you are covered for cancellation of the festival.
Do you hear yourself saying you 'should' still go'?
Listen to what you would
'prefer' to do - it's okay to change your plans.
Be kind to yourself x

Sorry, not read all the posts, but wondered if you could take somebody with you?

I think you are very brave booking any holiday on your own. I used to go with groups but don't now. I wouldn't think of going alone and I don't have mobility problems or healt issues.

I too advise cancelling.

I know it means loosing some money, but honestly will you feel better saving the money and being miserable on holiday?

It is brave of you to try going away on your own, so I would suggest you regard this cancelled holiday as an object lesson in what not to do. It sounds as if it might just be too early for you to revist a place that you and your husband used to go to.

I would suggest you next time book a packet tour making sure there is suitable accomodation and help for you as you have mobility prolems.

Going on a packet tour does not mean you have to go everywhere with the group, as long as you tell the guide that you are not coming, but doing your own thing and when you will be back at the hotel.

Group excursions are not my thing either, but it is, I think, slightly preferable being one of a group and able to get help if needed, than going away alone.

I’m in a similar position with mobility and my health generally, and I wouldn’t take on all those stairs on my own! This sounds like one of those situations which offers me a ‘wake up call’ about what I can manage on my own, having ignored my restrictions as much as I can. I think those restrictions might cause you to miss your husband’s presence more than usual.

I’d give the cottage company a try - they may let you cancel on compassionate grounds, given that your event has been cancelled, and the unsuitability of the property, and your bereavement.

I hope you manage to have a holiday which lets you relax and recuperate.

I understand why you are in two minds, I haven’t had the courage to go away completely on my own since being widowed. I have been away with my DC & GC and also went to a hotel in Scotland with friends in a similar situation and had a good time.
Going back to a place that has special memories could bring mixed feelings but it may be a step you need to take. Is there someone amongst your friends or family who would enjoy going with you, if not I’d be tempted to change to a more suitable hotel close by with a lift and people on hand if there are any problems. I hope you manage to get away and have a lovely time, it’s never going to be an easy step, good luck.

Do you by any chance have travel insurance as you booked before your mobility problems?

It’s a risk…..and vacations are about relaxation and enjoyment and not anxiety and worry! Cancel it - ask for a credit if at all possible and if not, just chalk it up to a decision made for peace of mind. We all make mistakes in life…..but we learn from them and it’s how we move past them that’s important. Your health and well being will thank you for taking this decision!

It sounds like
You no longer want to go, as the reason for going has now gone. If you don’t want to go, don’t go, I have in the past gone to things I paid for that I knew I didn’t want to go on, when the time come or changes had taken place. Now I put it down to experience and if I don’t want to go I just don’t. It sounds lovely but maybe your choices of accommodation were based on what was available that week. As others have said, look for something more suitable to your needs and something you know you will cope with and enjoy. Best of luck

I think you should cancel, too, although it makes me sad for the Luckygirl we used to know. But do replace it with something similar but with more suitable accommodation as others have suggested - even if it involves a bit of effort, getting away and seeing other people and places is always worth it!

No idea whether this location would be any good for you, but I’ve heard there is Aldeburgh and Snape Maltings in Suffolk which have music events and little shops to potter around.

This is a tricky one. On the one hand I think it’s natural to be getting cold feet. But you have driven there many times and know the area well, and I’m sure could enjoy it, even by yourself. On the other hand, there are other factors to consider such as the suitability of the accommodation and the fact the music festival is off. Maybe it would be best to investigate alternatives this time to see if you can get something which suits better?

I also think you should cancel Lucky girl . Too many negatives.

Maybe if the house can be relet, you can get a refund.

I tackled a very long drive on my own 6 months after DH died. I managed but didn't enjoy the journey. We had always shared the driving and even when he couldn't drive anymore he talked to me and read maps .

Luckily I wasn't on my own at the other end as I met DD and her family there.
We were sad but sad together!

This year I shall spend a week at an interest holiday. I shall either go by train and bus or get a lift.

I think I would cancel and try to get some of my money back, even if you have to forfeit a deposit. Look at going on a tour with others , or maybe even a cruise ( lots of people who are alone seem to go on them). There are special tours for over 50 s here, maybe something like that. Mr. Google would be your friend in finding something!

From what you’ve described, the minuses definitely outnumber the pluses, so in your situation I would cancel the holiday.
Actually never mind in your situation - I have no mobility issues at all, but even I would not relish the thought of nocturnal trips up and down stairs just to go to the loo!

There have been lots of good suggestions of alternative holidays which might be more suitable for you.