What would you do about this holiday?

- the reason for going was to go to a music festival in St Davids Cathedral every day
- but it has had to be cancelled - there are lots of lovely other places to visit, but the whole focus of the holiday has gone.

If I were you I would cancel too and hope to get my deposit back. If you explain why you were going and why you wish to cancel, explaining about your surgery if necessary, I hope when you phone they'll be understanding.

You could have a lovely time but it is the kind of area where being able to walk well would be a bonus.

However - I'd make plans to look for other similar musical events and plan for another break away, not too far away, and perhaps look for more suitable accommodation

A few years after he died I was persuaded to go on holiday to a place where we had enjoyed several lovely holidays with our disabled son. I was in two minds as I thought I would find it too sad but to my relief I didn’t and I enjoyed all the places we had been to and I was glad I went. So that may not be an issue if that helps. It’s the other concerns that may be problematical. I do hope you manage to resolve it Luckygirl and the owner of the cottage is understanding.

I am surprised at people saying cancel. Though I am younger than some on this forum I think. So they may be older and wiser.

Normally on here, advice seems to be "go for it".
Not sure what is different this time?

You can turn around and come back if things get too much? One way or another?

Hope the owner lets you cancel!

Luckygirl, do let us know how the conversation goes with the owner of the cottage. I hope you are able to make a decision soon. It is difficult for you.

I almost cancelled a holiday to Venice because of nerves and mobility issues. A couple of days before leaving I was in tears and ready to pack it in. My nephew persuaded me to continue with my plans. He could not travel with me as he gets dreadfully travel sick even on a bus! He has never owned a passport.

Venice is not a city for the mobility impaired. Transfering to a water taxi from the dock yard is a frightening business, However there are burly men there to help and the Italians are so understanding. In the end I did travel. I booked mobility assistance at the airport (dodged the queues and the staff at the airline were lovely). I didnt do all the things I wanted to do but I did some of them that were in my capacity. Im glad I went. I will never see Venice again but Im so glad I made it one last time.

The advice in this thread does vary but your safety is the most important at your time of life. I would be very wary of narrow and steep stairs and try to sleep on one level with the bathroom.

I am so grateful to you all for taking the trouble to help me think this through.

I plan to ring the owner tomorrow - I have her number now as I paid the final balance the week before last. I will ask whether she might be able to send a photo of the stairs, which will give me a clearer picture of the safety angle; and I will also try and find out about the sofa bed downstairs - if it takes up the whole room then that would not be great as there is no way I could return the bed to a sofa myself. I also need to find out how low it is, as I may not even be able to get up off it.

Armed with more detail I might find it easier to make a decision. I booked this a long way in advance (before my back problem and then surgery) in order to coincide with the festival, as everywhere gets booked up that week.

By the way "Baggs" I do possess a sort of small collapsible travel bucket which might fit the bill when it comes to calls of nature in the night!

My state of mind veers from coping fine to being a weepy heap - don't let anyone tell you that those who are bereaved "get over it" - they don't - as many of you here will know. This will be an important factor and I will not know how that stands till the time comes.

I guess I am lucky to be able to afford a holiday, so I feel I should at least try.

Luckygirl - looks like you are talking yourself out of this holiday. If it’s going to cause you a lot of stress , please cancel it .Not worth the hassle.

I would cancel too - it all sounds too risky and you don’t really need to test yourself like this. Write off the money and think about something safer and perhaps new to you. I can’t face booking a holiday on my own yet, and perhaps I never will, but I am not castigating myself for my timidity. We have had so much to cope with that we need to be kind to ourselves.

Such a lot of good advice here. Personally, I’d cancel and see if the Company would credit you, even with a reduced voucher to use elsewhere. If not, just put it down to experience - other than the Festival - the whole thing sounded a little impractical, from the journey to the accommodation.
I’d agree that a hotel break nearer to home, perhaps in a market town or cathedral city might be a good start for a solo traveller.

Is there anyone who you would like to go with you?
Nice to have someone to chat about the day together.

Apart from the main fact that the reason you chose to go was because of the festival which has now been cancelled, the cottage situation would be a no from me. I am not good on stairs and cottages normally have steep stairs so that would worry me even if I was with someone. And to be upstairs with the bathroom downstairs would add to my advice to you to cancel this trip. And the 4 hour drive as well. I am a great one for giving things a go but this wouldn’t be a good idea in my opinion. Plan a holiday a couple of hours from home and maybe find a nice bed and breakfast with a grounds floor bedroom. Or a flat in a market town with lots to see and do.

luckygirl, cancel. I cancelled a holiday once when realisation struck, that I was widowed and that I would be killing time on my own. You also have the mobility issues so don`t hesitate and don`t think about the cost this time

Could you transfer the cottage to Gloucester and attend the Three Choirs Festival in July instead? Or maybe take a friend to St David's and share the driving..

I think you should go! You were brave to book it so now go and try it. You don't have to stay the whole week if you aren't happy. Buy yourself some treats, get a couple of new books and go for it! Good luck!

agree with GSM.
don't go.
your safety and well-being are more imp than money.
all the best.

I think going somewhere I had been with DH would make me sad. Just my personal view but you don't seem to be looking forward to this trip for various reasons. Maybe call this holiday off and plan another making sure you go to somewhere on one level so no stairs. Also somewhere more easily accessible that's new to you.

I'm 76, and although still reasonably fit, I'd find the solo drive to west Pembrokeshire quite demanding. Even from somewhere like Gloucester, it's a 4 hour drive to St. David's area. I can quite understand why you wanted to make a sentimental journey, but with your mobility limitations and with the cancellation of the festival, I think I'd be looking for a more user-friendly, more accessible option. Presumably it's just your deposit you'd be losing at this distance from the date. Maybe just put it down to experience, and plan an alternative.

A great shame- but it does not sound ideal- so why not sell the holiday at a bit of a loss. Perhaps advertise it here- someone might take it up. Or a local site, ask family and friends to advertise it.

It is so so important that this first venture our on your own is a success and a joy, even if tainted with sadness. Go closer from home, and make sure that the cottage, or Hôtel, is ideal for you and your limited mobility and back pain- perhaps with a spa, and food cooked for you. And where you can drive not too far and out of comfort zone, or can go easily with public transport.

Plenty of time to try and sell it on. It is such a beautiful area, and must be amazing in June- but probably not for you this time.

Or yes, explain to the Cottage rental company that it is now too far and too difficult for you with loo downstairs, and see if if they are prepared to swap for something closer and more suitable- even if you take a small financial hit. Almost 1 month in advance, they should agree to help.

Which region could you travel to easily, shorter drive or pt?

I very much agree with others that the reason for the holiday, the whole focus, has gone, which is why all the negatives are coming home to you.

I would try and cancel with whoever it’s booked with, either swapping for something nearer home or postponing it for a later date.

If that’s not possible, I think I would reluctantly accept that the money has been spent but that doesn’t mean you must go and be miserable.

I do hope it works out for you.

My concern would be the suitability of the accommodation. As others have said try changing the cottage ?I have booked a small cottage in Cornwall for just myself. Near the shops and the sea with some easyish walks . It’s the first time on my own , I do know the area well and did stay with my late DH but don’t think it will be sad who knows 🤷‍♀️. I have an added issue in that I don’t drive so need somewhere that has good public transport. I know my family are a bit worried I will be unhappy alone but I am alone at home anyway…
Looking forward to this experiment-, if it isn’t OK then I may branch out on an organised trip. But never been one to like organised trips and although I have some widowed or single friends not sure about holidays with them . My closest friends still have partners and would feel even more sad holidaying with them .

Good post Aveline. I was reminded of that old Sandie Shaw song, Always Something There To Remind Me.

Just reading your post makes me think that you really don't want to go. You don't have to. The whole point of going has gone, the accommodation is at best uncomfortable and at worst unsafe for you, you worry about the drive and feel that you will feel so sad there on your own after so many happy visits with your DH. Keep those happy memories. Don't spoil them by a miserable time there on your own.
You're a sensible adult in control of what you do. You can do as you like at this stage in your life. So do that. Good luck.

I think you're talking yourself out of it. I'd say stop overthinking and just go. You don't have to stay if you don't want to. You might really enjoy it.

Consider:

taking a friend
going by train, then cab
anything that makes life easier

Yes, you could sleep downstairs - or take a bucket and loo roll. Do take your mobile charger and keep it (and the mobile) nearby at all times. Take a few frozen favourite meals and a really good book.

Did you book through an agency? Ring them and see if you can swap to a bungalow or somewhere more suited to your needs.