I'd forgotten what it's like!!

I’m sorry about your GD! But she has to be told to respect your home! I’m appalled by her attitude and saddened by her disrespect towards you!
Totally not acceptable - take care

I feel your pain as next week we have our DG who’s 14 (going on 20) staying with us while mum & Dad go on holiday. My DH’s got dementia and is staying at their house with DG for a couple of days whilst he’s at school then he’s coming to our home for 3/4 nights. He’s gaming online mad and I won’t allow him to ‘plug into’ our TV because unless my DS is home we can never get the channels back correctly. So when he’s bored he really lets me know plus eats me out of house & home in the process. I would prefer him to stay at his parents home with my husband but they are not near any shops etc for my DH plus he now cannot drive. Also after nearly setting our kitchen on fire last week I’ve come to realise his dementia is worse than the last time he stayed at their home when they went on holiday and DH babysat for the week which was great as I had not only a rest, ate what I liked or not (hubby doesn’t like beans on toast etc 🙄) and I managed to clean the house and it stayed clean! So next week I will be running between their home and ours, half hour driving each way, and then both back here with a stroppy bored teenager and husband that isn’t far behind him in his ways. Oh joy of joy I will enjoy the first 2 nights hopefully with peace and quiet.

I remember leaving my son around about that age before I was due home he sent me a photo of kitchen as I'd warned him about leaving a mess it was perfect I later found out he'd used paper plates and cups and had takeaways all week

I used to think my dd1 would become massively tidier once she had her own house, and with the first, she did.

However, 10+ years and 3 children later, plus working more or less full time, she is just as cheerfully lackadaisical as before - will greet you at the door with, ‘Ignore the carnage, I’ve had no time.’

But they’ve always got friends round, nobody ever seems to care - the atmosphere is invariably warm and welcoming.

When she was a student, a shared house was once burgled. Police came round and asked what was missing - they were 😱at the state of her room, which looked as if it had been thoroughly ransacked - she had to tell them it wasn’t the burglar - that was its normal state!

My two girls were nightmares when living at home as teens. Despite my nagging they didn’t improve. But when they got their own places things changed! They are immaculately neat, clean and tidy now as adults so something I said must have paid off. My son has always been a clean/tidy freak but his fiancée with whom he lives is less so. And it drives him mad! However I live alone these days in a well ordered home and would give anything to have those chaotic days back again! I just have to wait until my GC come to stay and then it descends into chaos (and a bit of nagging) once more!

I'm afraid I'm the "leave things alone and do a blitz when I feel like it" sort of cleaner. So my GD aged 10comes round sometimes and says "You done a tidy-up!". She has been told anytime she wants to come round and lend a hand she's very welcome.

SueDonim

When she’s got her own home you can visit and make an unholy mess there, Tanith.

I wish it worked like that. My DD was an absolute shocker, at home and at uni, but if I put a foot down in the wrong place in her house, though she says nothing to me, it’s all there in the body language! Everyone else gets burnt to a crisp🔥😁!!

I used to.say my daughter had a little cloud of chaos that followed her around😅 water bottles, tissues, plates, bowls all.left wherever she sat, and don't get me started on hair ties
She's at uni now and I do miss her but I don't miss the mess 😅

my eldest daughter only had to walk in a room and things would throw themselves onto the floor as she passed through

... sadly this happens to me.
I used to blame it on the children - but since they don't live here anymore it's obviously me... (must just happen when I look away) ... and it's not just the floor... it's on all flat surfaces, everywhere!

My kids (and grandkids) are like snails - they leave a visable trail of belongings and mess wherever they go - in my house. In their own spaces, though, they're incredibly neat and tidy.

I was the same at home (the cleaner refused to 'muck out pigsties') but reformed when I moved out aged 17. It's only when the chaos reflects badly on you, personally, that you suddenly care.

my eldest daughter only had to walk in a room and things would throw themselves onto the floor as she passed through
Love this, grannyben 😅

It reminded me of something my mother said when I came home from uni after my first term: "You've only been in the house half an hour and it's already full!" The six other people in the house apparently didn't fill it 🤔

One of my GD was so very messy (even dirty), in her own bedroom in the family home. My daughter used to get so angry with her, as (against the rules) she would leave food lying around amongst all her clean and dirty clothes. Twice in less than ten years her bedroom carpet had to be thrown out due to its condition.

At 18 years this young lady (who had left school and was working), announced she was getting her own flat. She moved in just few days after that birthday only a few hundred yards from the family house. One bedroomed flat own front door.

My daughter's main concern was how she would keep it. Before she moved in it had been done up, freshly painted and new carpet throughout by the landlord. I went out a bought a whole box full of cleaning materials!!!!

Signs were there even during moving in process. She had put down cardboard to protect the light coloured carpet. A piece had moved and a small mark appeared. Even whilst we were having a break from moving things in, she got down on her knees to clean this mark.

The flat is always beautifully clean and tidy. Cannot believe it is the same person. Even when she has friends staying with her, they have to obey her very strict rules about keeping it tidy.

She has now been there several month

Re bedrooms, dh used to despair at the state of theirs - he said that if we ever moved he wouldn’t bother with wardrobes or chests of drawers for them - the ‘floordrobe’ was evidently enough.
I used to tell him just to shut the door and not look. I’d be the one to retrieve 4 mugs with mouldy dregs of tea, fossilised apple cores, bowls with Ready Brek dried on like cement, etc., though.
Happy Days! 😂

I’d go a bit ape over bits of shaved hair everywhere! Rinse it off!!

What I don’t miss from teen/early 20s dds at home, is the several bottles of shampoo/conditioner/shower gel in the other bathroom, with just a bit left in the bottom, because they couldn’t be bothered to turn it upside down and use it up.

Not to mention my missing moisturisers/deodorant etc., which they ‘borrowed’ and forgot to put back….

My daughter and her three children came back to live with us for a couple of years, she is really messy, so the children just think it’s normal.
I could have spent every hour of everyday yelling at someone, but that would only have been a different type of hell, so I just shut the doors on their bedrooms, luckily they had their own bathrooms, so I just tried not to stress.
when I realised that my nagging wasn’t getting anywhere I hired a cleaning company, which eased the strain.
Eventually they moved out, but my teenage granddaughter stayed on, and I don’t think in three years I’d had any influence on her at all.

tanith it is lovely you get on so well together and can sit down to watch a film you both enjoy.

The week will fly past and next week you can clean to your heart's content.

my eldest daughter only had to walk in a room and things would throw themselves onto the floor as she passed through
😂😂😂
I love that, must remember it Grannyben

I bet you’re having a great time with her! Enjoy tanith.

Thankyou 😊

I so hope my grandchildren will want to stay with me, enjoying old films, when they are older. I wouldn't mind the mess at all (my eldest daughter only had to walk in a room and things would throw themselves onto the floor as she passed through).
Make the most of it Tanith, you can clean to your hearts content when your lovely gd has returned home

A tale from a distant acquaintance about leaving her 18yo home alone. Her dd went out that evening, having done her hair and make up and all the rest. She came home in the early hours and was then rudely awakened at about 5am by a couple of burly firefighters in her bedroom, which was filled with smoke.

It turned out she’d used some sort of styling wand to do her hair in her parents bedroom but had failed to turn them off. She didn’t notice anything when she got home but a neighbour who was up in the middle in the night saw flames in the window and called the fire brigade out.

She wasn’t allowed to be home alone for quite some time after that. 😳😳😳

It looks like a bomb has fallen in our house after our 2 grandsons have left, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. We love having them here. In a year or so they will be off with their friends and I will remember the happy chaos.

When we left DD at home when we were overseas for a couple of months we came home to an immaculately tidy and clean house.
We were astonished, knowing she was not the tidiest of people. Then she confessed that her brother's fianceé had come round and helped her clear up and clean before we came home 😁

Mind you, my granddaughters are tidier than I am. 😂

kittylester

Crikey, lighten up everyone. My grandchildren can make as much mess as they like so long as they come to stay.

I taught my children about tidiness, I want to enjoy the company of my grandchildren not become their parents.

This!