Weddings of yesterday and today.

I think there's definitely something in that, Joseann. Remember how wedding shops up and down the country were all rushing to get copies of her dress out for sale. I think it definitely helped spark a boom in the wedding industry.

The thing that I think is a bit sad is that weddings seem to have lost the ‘family’ aspect.
They, at least in our tribe, are more about friends than family.
No children seems to be popular. This, of course means that if you don’t live near to the venue young families find it difficult to attend if they haven’t got babysitters on tap to do childminding.
My niece got married last year and luckily she had a different attitude, it was lovely for the whole family to get together. All the smaller cousins had a lovely time, were well behaved and didn’t ‘ruin’ the day.
Plenty of room for their friends too.

@annsixty, while I am the first to advocate second hand goods, I think in this case your granddaughter’s friend was wise to refuse a glass table with a two year old. When my second son was not quite three he fell into my parents’ glass video cabinet in a freak accident. The glass shattered and my son needed nineteen stitches. He still has a scar on his cheek to this day rather like Action Man. To this day I dislike glass furniture. Better safe than sorry.

I love a wedding , any type , simple or lavish , it's the bride and grooms choice . I've been a guest at lots and sometimes the simple less extravagant ones are the best .

It's a day to celebrate love and family and no one knows what's out before them .

I do feel disappointed though when family are overlooked for casual friendships and work colleagues, in 40 years time it will be your family still in your corner while so called friends have long since drifted away .

We had a church wedding , reception in the church hall , not elaborate but we loved every minute , we've been married 39 years this year .

Times are so different now. Married in 1977 and bought Pronupti wedding dress new for £50, church wedding, friend did photos, friend of family let us use the Rolls Royce, sit down buffet at local hotel, extra friends outdoors at parents home later on, friend made wedding cake, honeymoon in Isle of Man. Wish I hadn't bothered with any of it, divorce went through 18 years later.

Oh I agree with you there Whitewave. Money doesn’t make you happy, although it can certainly add to happiness. We always had enough and we were happy. I liked our life, but even then I was very aware that there were others, similar to us, who were more fortunate in that their parents were able to help them more, or they didn’t go into teaching which was notoriously badly paid. That’s why I was determined that my children would have better chances in life, and because my husband taught in an independent school, we were able to avail ourselves of reduced fees, so long as I worked to pay the rest, and the outcome speaks for itself. I will never feel in any way guilty for giving my children the best I could, even though it was hard.

A friend, a professional dressmaker made my dress, I made the underskirt to go with it myself, our wedding cake, aided by my sister and she, I and DH did the catering for the reception, which we held in the parish hall of the church we attended and where we were married.

Three friends from the congregation set tables, put out the food and drink and cleared up afterwards.

In the evening, we went to a restaurant we had booked in advance with 12 members of our closest families, and after that DH and I left for a long week-end away.

This was possible on a very modest budget - if I remember correctly the most expensive thing was actually DH and his best man's suits.

Our wedding, 16 years ago cost £400, sit down Indian buffet for 40, charity Monsoon dress for me, new tie for MrJ, our local pub had a live band booked anyway.
A great day with my immediate family and our friends (we’d lived together for 7 years), one of the last few times my Mum was totally with it before dementia claimed her mind a couple of years later.

Ours was reg office, 60 guests, marquee in my folks’ garden. My mother often told me I’d regret not having a ‘proper’ wedding (church) and not having a ‘proper’ white wedding dress, but I never have - it was a brilliant day - and a GM, bless her, said, ‘You couldn’t have found a prettier dress.’ Which wasn’t at all expensive.

Dd1, OTOH, had 190 odd, inc. a lot of children, at her big do in France, but that was only because we were lucky enough to have a lovely big venue - a chateau, no less - to use for free, courtesy of a relative of dh. A cousin had done the same a year previously.

I don’t like weddings, but we wanted to be married so we did as little as possible. Registry office, close family only and a handful of close friends, dinner in a good hotel in the evening. I did dress quite well, but not at all bridal. My husband was Australian, so his family was not there. Luckily their opinions in weddings were very like ours. There were only about a dozen of us altogether. This was in 1968. It was lovely!

Some of the best recent weddings (as a guest) have been simple and DIY.
Friends married in a beautiful formal garden under a splendid tree. They served bubbly and there followed a village hall reception. After a few speeches a banquet arrived from their nearby Indian Restaurant. Dancing both ceilidh and disco, followed. The bride, a photographer, took the wedding photos.

Sadly their marriage hasn't lasted very long although they are still friends.

Some lovely stories on here. Thanks for sharing.

My parents married at Brompton Oratory in the thirties with only their two best friends for witnesses.
I married in 1968 with a hired wedding dress, cost 11 guineas I think and a reception in the events room of the local pub. A friend of DH’s mum made the wedding cake and my future sister in law took the photos. We didn’t have a honeymoon but were shooed away from the reception just when we were enjoying ourselves and went to the Naval hiring that we’d been allotted.
DD1 married in our local church with a beautiful white dress bought by us, which was still packed away in her loft until very recently. They went off to a local hotel but realised next morning that they hadn’t taken any normal clothes with them and had to go down to breakfast in their wedding clothes. Then later left for a wet week in Cornwall.
DD2 married in Las Vegas but did have family party in a local hall a couple of months later.

DGN is away on a hen do at the moment in Malta. I told her that my first trip abroad was to Malta was when I was expecting her mother all those years ago.

DGN should be D Granddaughter of course.

I'm not a wedding fan in general, but one of the best I've ever been to was a Goth pagan wedding. It was a work colleague, and a group of us were invited - but most of those present were all their Goth friends, and without exception, they were the most lovely, welcoming and friendly wedding guests I've ever met.

If DH and I had lived together beforehand we would never have got married. His father gave us 18 months on the wedding day to my face. His gran said I deserved a medal.
The hairdresser slept in, the photographer had no film in his camera, and the taxi forgot to turn up for us at the reception. DH had to break into his mother's house as he had forgotten where we were stayng and to top it all our best man a Catholic got caught up in an Orange Lodge parade with some other guests who were in the Lodge.
After getting covered in confetti from DH's umbrella on the Royal Mile in Edinburgh we realised we had done the right thing in choosing to live well away from relations.
It's 50 years hopefully soon, I can't say we don't disagree but nothing as much as when relatives were pulling the string.
Our niece had her little boy at her wedding and appears to be happy.
Horses for courses . I think it is better today, you please yourselves but I don't really like being asked if the present is money for a Caribean honeymoon.

We married in 1969, church wedding with friends and family. My Mum and grandfather had a heck of a row in the morning as he refused to wear a tie. We all froze - it snowed - the black and white photos aren’t quite what we anticipated, the sky looks black and the snow on the tombstones looks spooky. Our reception was for family only in my parents sitting room. One friend still hasn’t forgiven us for not inviting her, has mentioned it regularly for 54 years. No bouquet for me, couldn’t afford the flowers, we did manage button holes while I settled for carrying a white bible. A three night honeymoon in London saw me returning home with shingles. Having no idea what it was I consulted a GP who explained and asked me seriously if there had been any recent stressful changes in my life. .

Our first home had three new items of furniture, our bed, white wood wardrobes which we painted and a fridge my Nan gave us. The rest of the furniture was mostly donated by family, the rest had been left in the little house we rented. We’d not have changed a thing.

I wonder sometimes if for some the wedding has become more important than being married

We had three different weddings for our children. Our oldest son got married in Mauritius because it was his wife’s second wedding and she naturally didn’t want a repeat of the first one. We gave them money as a wedding gift and they said it paid for the entire wedding. Our second son got married (civil ceremony) at Cowdry Park in the walled garden. It was gorgeous. The sun shone, the champagne flowed, and the speeches, six of them, were magnificent, and very amusing. We gave them the same amount of money we had given to our first son and they bought the champagne and a painting whilst they were on their honeymoon in San Francisco and Hawaii. When our daughter got married it was a very traditional affair. A church wedding, her beautiful dress that I loved buying for her, all the men suited and booted, a choir, the works, and a lovely reception at a country hotel. We paid for the wedding. And guess what, she’s the one who’s getting divorced. We saw some signs early on in their relationship, but we said nothing, as parents are supposed to do, but it’s failed after eleven years. I did tel, I’m not paying for another wedding should she marry again.

A friend spent a fortune on their wedding but didn't have any money left for any furniture for their house.

A grandson isn't married to his partner but we now have a lovely complementary great grand daughter

We married 51 years ago….fiancé said …big wedding or big honeymoon overseas . I’d never flown before so I said straight away ‘big Honeymoon’ so we married in registry office and just had family there and left for honeymoon at 1 in morning . No white dress….no bridesmaids….my dress cost £8 ( a weeks wage for me) from a frock shop in Oxford street …me and sis and mum went up to buy it….a floppy /hippy hat ….and still married after 51 years. More importantly we were first to save money for a deposit on own house after generations of both families in council houses….his parents did not approve ! “not for the likes of us “ was quoted quite a few times! Luckily I ignored them !

My son and his now wife spent about £40000 on their wedding last September, they paid for it all themselves and we had a wonderful party, I felt beforehand that it was a bit over indulgent but we all had a such a good time I really couldn’t begrudge it

The money spent on weddings is stupid amounts. My first wedding in 1976 was all arranged in a month. My dress and 3 bridesmaids all made by my sister. About 60 guests and a sit down meal at our local airport bar. Marriage lasted 14 years. My second wedding was at our local registry with 4 guests and now we've been together 32 years. I see a lot of wedding dresses now where the bride is nearly hanging out of her dress. I don't find it attractive at all well maybe that's just me.

I am getting married in September, second time arounders, and appreciate that as it is our second marriage we don’t want the big event we did before. We are just having our closest family - just our children, grandchildren, my mother, our three sisters and two brothers in law and that’s it. Just a small wedding at the local town hall with a restaurant after. My dress this time is 10% of the cost of my one 30 years ago, and I am delighted with it! We have got the two granddaughters as little bridesmaids but again their little dresses are just £30 each from John Lewis! A friend is doing our flowers using local British flowers in season that won’t cost the Earth and another friend is doing a deal on the photography so again very very reasonable. I have found some things so much more reasonable than before. Whole budget about £1500!

And it isn’t about being cheap, it’s just not wasting money we don’t need to, and really delighted with the intimate feel of this time around.

My son’s first wedding cost £32,000 I was horrified! Unfortunately it was all about the bride being the centre of attention and it lasted less than a year. He then met his now wonderful spouse. The bride made the cake. The dress cost very little and I made the bouquets. It cost £3000. They have now got 2 beautiful children and a wonderful life together. It’s not about the wedding a marriage is what you make it.
I recently heard that just to book a (stately) home for a wedding near us was no less than £80,000.

Maybe l am not posh enough but some years ago l went to a wedding near Green Park in London. l thought there would be a wedding breakfast but no. After the service we were ushered into a room where champagne ( and it was the real stuff ) and canapés were plentiful. A short speech and then a finger of cake. Order of service ensured that we knew that was the part we were invited to. Not having had breakfast in the expectation of a meal l was feeling quite giddy. We quickly thanked an official looking man because we were so concerned we may make a fool of ourselves. l don't think we were A list guests. It was soulless , very "proper" but for the life of us we cannot remember whose doo it was. We were working in London in a well known teaching hospital so it may have been the daughter or son of the consultants , on whose firm he was working for.
Contrast this to my sons wedding , met wife at school when she came from Germany to perfect her english. They had been to to 3 schools, 3 universities and worked in both England, Germany and Australia. They had friends from all these places so the venue had to be near an airport and be able to cater for 350 people. When the time came we knew very few of the guests but all but 5 came. We gave a contribution but to be fair they paid for the lions share. l had thought that if my son got married in Germany it would be in a dreamy Bavarian Castle but alas none could cater for such a crowd. Quite honestly if we had not gone l doubt we would have been missed.as they were so excited that all their friends came. l must admit the notes on here about the mother of the groom were very helpful as l did feel "low" after the wedding. My Dil is every thing you would want and they keep in regular contact but l feel l have lost a son rather than gained a daughter. The old adage is true

I find it difficult to understand why so much is spent on weddings. Most couples nowadays have lived together, established a home, some with children, yet they deem it necessary to have tens of thousands spent on a celebration, of what? They've already done what a wedding is all about. A simple ceremony would suffice in my opinion.