An apple for the teacher.

I taught an English exam course to a group of Romanian mums at a local primary school. At the end of the course, which they all passed, they presented me with two large home-baked cakes which were the most wonderful things ever. They reminded me so much of my grandma who came from a Polish background.

annsixty, we are (or were) trained professionals, doing a vital job - not just a hairdresser or delivery driver, expecting a tip!

At college level, we simply weren't allowed to accept any gifts (although I'd make an exception for shared 'staff' chocolates) and many would view the offers of such as insulting.

I don't know when end of year gifts began for primary schools - but it should stop. I did appreciate the little notes and cards from students, though, as it's so good to feel that I was valued and made a difference to their lives. They'd taken the time to write an expression of thanks - wonderful!

In secondary, this is rare. Lots of Christmas cards, but no end of year presents.

My daughter organised a flower arrangement for her sons teacher who is going on maternity leave. I assume she collected from all the parents.

I used to teach unemployed adults… I had one particularly difficult and LOUD student who honestly… gave me a headache.

On the day the course finished, I was given some lovely thank you cards.

And from my loud student… a box of ibuprofen with a note…

‘Sorry for being your constant headache! I know I’m loud!’

It really made me laugh

I labelled them my ‘anti loud meds’ and carried them around with me for years

I too feel it is an outdated practise that should be discontinued.

I distinctly remember as a child feeling ashamed that my end-of-term present to my form-mistress was obviously either homemade or cheaper than that which classmates with wealthier parents brought to school.

I was relieved when the custom did not continue into senior school, and I know my mother was too.

My teaching experience has been solely in Denmark, where school-teachers formerly ranked and were paid as civil servants. This is a thing of the past now, but the rule that those employed by the state may not refuse presents from members of the public, as this was seen as bribery still prevails.

We have in the last few years had incidents of bribery and corruption, mainly in large firms vying for big sales contracts, but none amongst teachers.

This is probably due to the fact that in the 1980s and 90s a large number of teachers complained to the authorities that they had been asked in all seriousness, usually by immigrant families from countries where the procedure is quite usual, how large a "present" would result in a child being given better marks than those justified by his or her class work or examination papers.

Obviously, once these kind of questions were asked by parents, teachers became very wary indeed of accepting more than the offer of one sweetie from a child.

Medical professionals are not allowed to receive gifts from those they have treated, police likewise may accept no gifts, home-helps and carers are likewise obliged to refuse gifts from clients, as obviously are customs officials, so why should the teaching profession form an exception?

Off topic slightly but when my son was in the infants his class teacher left to turn work in a private school.
I was a school governor at the time and in one of the meetings the head was asked how Miss ..... was getting on at the private school.
Oh marvellously was the reply, but she does have to remember to re-apply her make up before the end of school bell rings as the parents collecting their children expect her to look well groomed !

Letters of thanks and gifts of trivial cost are fine but what is really needed is to pay teachers better, classroom requirements are fully funded and train parents to support teachers.

Asaretired Primary School Teacher I would mention that Teachers regularly spend their own money on the chidren they teach. Including art materials, books items as part of a topic . I could go on .

Glorianny

Perhaps what schools should do if parents insist on trying to give gifts is say they will be donated to a local charity.
A brief "Mrs X thanks you for the gift which will be donated to xxxx". could be sent. Wonder how many parents would stop doing it then?

I’d go for that, as long as OFSTED wasn’t due.
Even better, put it on the playground notice board and on the classroom windows, to save the teachers having to pass on an unwelcome message.
I’ve encountered the vindictiveness of some parents on FB, face to face, or on the anonymous parent opinion surveys.

eazybee

I liked the presents that the children had chosen themselves because they spotted the things I liked: cats, book tokens, some kitchen utensils, a jar of cherries 'you like eating them', chocolate, likewise, coffee and coffee mugs, pens, 'you lose them', and desk tidy (nuff said). I still have a collection of sea-washed pieces of glass collected from the beach, because 'green is your favourite colour'.

It made me realise how closely they observe you.

With regard to presents, I and many other teachers, TAs and dinner ladies also gave the children a small gift each at Christmas, Easter and the end of term. I used to bake small cakes and biscuits, hence the 'you like cooking'.

I used to give my class a present at Christmas and a card to make sure everyone got one. and usually made baskets with them and I bought mini eggs at Easter. One summer I bought them all a cheap bucket and spade for the seaside some cried because they had never had them before.
One class I had I bought them all plastic bugs and snakes because they had a habit of putting spiders in my cupboard.
I doubt they would be pleased with such small things these days.

Perhaps what schools should do if parents insist on trying to give gifts is say they will be donated to a local charity.
A brief "Mrs X thanks you for the gift which will be donated to xxxx". could be sent. Wonder how many parents would stop doing it then?

I know it's not us and them with regard to parents I spent a large part of my career managing childrens home but the welfare of the child is paramount, there are very good reasons why other organisations involving children dont allow this. What is NHS guidance on this does anyone know.

Back to the subject of tipping yet again. I would have thought there were limits imposed on the value of gifts allowed.

Parents aren’t the enemy of teachers in this situation, they’re the enemy of each other. If parents want to do it, they feel they have the right.
The school where my sister is Office Manager banned gifts, saying a card, or a note or personal thanks was plenty if parents wished to do that.
What happened, according to her is that parents would slip into reception and say thinks like, “I know we’re not supposed to bring gifts, but could you just pass this to Mrs X from Matthew.” That left her and the office assistant in the difficult position of saying, “No I’m sorry, I can’t do that.”
Which often left them receiving abuse and the head getting comments about unhelpful office staff.

At one point I had 4 children in primary. The donations for everything was hugely draining.

I do think it's better to scale it down. We remember the personal things so much more than vouchers etc.

The WhatsApp groups for parents can be very intense. I try to avoid it ( thankfully only one in primary now)

Especially due to things like "X has lost his jumper, has anyone taken it home by accident". Instead of maybe one reply saying "yes, sorry, will pop it in tomorrow" you get 29 replies saying "we don't have it, sorry, hope it turns up!". I never answer those, people probably think I steal all the missing uniform lol

Surely, in the current economic climate, Head Teachers should be contacting parents and advising that a home made card from pupils is sufficient to show their appreciation to their teachers. Why should parents be put under pressure to spend cash they can ill afford - and I know there's parents who can afford it who take great delight in showing off or even organising a whip round by delegating how much each parents should donate to a collection!
My AC never. took gifts to school for their teachers, it simply wasn't a thing then so why now?

I think it's mostly in primary /junior schools and perhaps a little bit in year 7.
I have several things that were gifted and they mean a lot to me , as do the cards and letters I received.

Actually I can’t believe that anyone in any situation likes being put under pressure to give a “gift”.

I can only assume that people who think the class collection is a good idea have

a) never experienced the disapproval of the parental Playground and how parental opinion can translate into child bullying

b) never been so poor that even 50p given means going without something and a fiver for each child would mean no food on the table.

c) never felt the shame of it

Galaxy

Things within education shouldnt just happen because parents like them.

An experienced HT along with efficient School Governors should have good and clear lines of communication with parents.

It should never become a them and us situation. Parents aren’t the enemy, they should have the same respect as teachers expect.

It’s over 30 years since my children left school.

Thank goodness this practice hadn’t caught on back then, well, not at our schools anyhow.

Galaxy

Things within education shouldnt just happen because parents like them.

True, but where should the “because parents like them” stop?
Parents during my time teaching, have liked;
end of term gifts,
term time out of school,
fruit juice in water bottles,
trainers,
huge school bags,
oversized hair bows,
strange hairstyles etc.
Who makes the decision about what things are allowed and what are not allowed because parents like them?

I’m not a teacher. I work as a counsellor in an independent school. I have occasionally been given a token gift but our school stated nobody can receive a gift worth more than £20 . If that ever happens it has to be declared to our finance department and is registered with them so everything is transparent

Things within education shouldnt just happen because parents like them.

It is the parents who organise class reps and collective present giving, not the school. I have never encountered a class rep, but talk to the mummies rather than insisting loudly that any form of gift should be banned. If you don't want to give a present or contribute, then don't.

We used to have a silly secret santa at school until the Deputy Head decided of his own volition that we would all give £5 and it would be sent, in his name, to Oxfam. He also banned the children from sending Christmas cards to each other because it wasted paper, but asked parents for a donation instead. They ignored him.
It all caused bad feeling, particularly the next year when a different charity was suggested and he refused to allow it. Plus the Head was discovered to have claimed his donation back from school fund.