What is the point?

Meds will not help to give meaning to life.

Lots of great advice on this thread, and also very honest sharing of similar despair.
But this comment disturbed me. It's true that medication cannot give meaning to life, but in my experience, it can help get you to a point where you CAN cope with life, find meaning in it etc. When I was in the depths of despair/depression, I just couldn't think straight. I attempted suicide several times, became anorexic then bulimic and other damaging behaviours. But when I was diagnosed with chronic depression, the lift that medication gave me got me to a state of mind where I COULD think straight, and feel there was a future, and find ways to cope.

It certainly isn't the only answer, but I feel strongly that it can give a valuable 'leg up' and should not be dismissed.

5-minute video: Is There Meaning to Life?

youtu.be/NKGnXgH_CzE

I'm just wondering if other people think about "the meaning of life" and if they have come up with any answers.

I have thought about the meaning of life, and it bothered me a lot in my early 20s that I didn't see any objective meaning to life. One of the great things about becoming a Christian for me, years later, was that I did see an objective meaning - to know God, to love him and be loved by him, to serve him. I look forward to being with him forever, where 'there will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain'. (Revelation 21.4.)

I've started reading a couple of chapters of books each night in bed. The books that helped me with this feeling are:
Rachel Joyce's trilogy - 'The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry'; ' The Love Song of Miss Queenie Hennessy' and 'Maureen Fry and The Angel of The North'. I liked to hear of their real struggles in later life. Particularly the last book resonated about being a guest of the Earth.

Metra. Estrangement from your son and his family is such a painful and distressing thing to live with. I'm so sorry.

Thank you all, so pleased to know its not just me x

I could have written this EDDIECAT. I know exactly how you’re feeling.
It’s easy for others to say “of course there’s every point”, but when that darkness sits overhead, nothing anyone says can help.
Sending you hugs and let’s hope the sunshine comes back soon 🤗 💐☀️

I have read your posts for Eddiecat and hope they help her. I am glad that V3ra has responded to Metra
I am grateful to Gransnet for this warm, embracing community.

I think I must be lucky as I don't suffer from depression apart from occasional times when I feel unhappy for no obvious reason, but my DM did, all her life so I know about those dark times.

I don't sleep well which is why I'm writing in the middle of the night!

As for the meaning of life? Will we ever know?

Like Wyllow I am a Quaker. In the silence of the meeting for worship I find a deep peace. Time seems to stand still and the bustle of life is far away.

Metra

I feel useless and that my life will quite definitely not improve. I am estranged from my son and his family, have no other family in the UK, very deaf and suffer from macular degeneration which will result in almost total blindness in the next few years. I am also in pain with what my doctor calls global arthritis. I only have 2 friends left and one is moving to live with her daughter next month. I can't think of any positives to look forward to, just more pain, darkness and loneliness.

Metra do you have any support from adult social services? Please ring your local department and see how they can help you.

One organisation I know of that might interest some people is this one:

www.reengage.org.uk/join-a-group/tea-parties/

You can phone and ask to be put in touch with the group in your area.

Enjoy every day that's given to you. You are not a youngster by any means but a mother and grandmother, be grateful, many would give their eye teeth for what you have.

JPB123

Marydoll

JPB123

Marydoll

Kate1949

Definitely Marydoll. I don't think I've ever pretended to be someone I'm not, even though many times I wish I wasn't me!

A good few Gransnetters know me in person, so I couldn't pretend to be tall, elegant, witty, amusing, intelligent and wealthy, anyway.🤣

How do you know other Gransnetters in person?? Please tell.

The infamous Glesca Grannies meet ups!

How lovely x

It is. A lovely crowd of grans, we had seventeen grans at one meet up.

eddiecat - today is one of those days - it’s wet, damp, dull and miserable and that’s exactly how I feel. My daughter dropped by with some prawns, to make a curry for her and her teenagers. Like me, she is divorced, but has a job which keeps her busy. I worry about her. I worry about family health.
But I can understand how you feel, especially with health issues that prevent you from going out. You have a good husband. You have children and grandchildren- that is an achievement, don’t you think.?
We all go through ‘dark’ periods. Think of the good things in your life. Hope this cloud lifts and you feel better soon

Marydoll

JPB123

Marydoll

Kate1949

Definitely Marydoll. I don't think I've ever pretended to be someone I'm not, even though many times I wish I wasn't me!

A good few Gransnetters know me in person, so I couldn't pretend to be tall, elegant, witty, amusing, intelligent and wealthy, anyway.🤣

How do you know other Gransnetters in person?? Please tell.

The infamous Glesca Grannies meet ups!

How lovely x

JPB123

Marydoll

Kate1949

Definitely Marydoll. I don't think I've ever pretended to be someone I'm not, even though many times I wish I wasn't me!

A good few Gransnetters know me in person, so I couldn't pretend to be tall, elegant, witty, amusing, intelligent and wealthy, anyway.🤣

How do you know other Gransnetters in person?? Please tell.

The infamous Glesca Grannies meet ups!

Marydoll

Kate1949

Definitely Marydoll. I don't think I've ever pretended to be someone I'm not, even though many times I wish I wasn't me!

A good few Gransnetters know me in person, so I couldn't pretend to be tall, elegant, witty, amusing, intelligent and wealthy, anyway.🤣

How do you know other Gransnetters in person?? Please tell.

Totally understand. I have many health problems and added to them in the last six was coronary artery disease and I eat very healthy.
However recently I have this problem has really made me realise my mortality. I'm 66 next year and have never thought about death till this diagnosis and this last week I've been feeling nauseous, tired and dizzy, yet somehow sleep eludes me.
Yesterday I decided to take control, last year was epoxy resin art year for me, this year I've decided to learn sign language. I can do it in my own time online.
I'm fortunate to be single so don't have to worry about anyone else on the other hand I'll probably die alone, just laughing at myself.
I do know having had depression many years ago if I can put my thoughts elsewhere them over time I'll get through this and I hope you do too.

I feel useless and that my life will quite definitely not improve. I am estranged from my son and his family, have no other family in the UK, very deaf and suffer from macular degeneration which will result in almost total blindness in the next few years. I am also in pain with what my doctor calls global arthritis. I only have 2 friends left and one is moving to live with her daughter next month. I can't think of any positives to look forward to, just more pain, darkness and loneliness.

At 89 I look back at life and feel that I have enjoyed most of it. If my husband hadn’t died things would have been different and I would still be in London and not in the Caribbean. Even though I have three children, plus grandchildren and great grandchildren I still miss my other half. However, I never show anyone just how alone I feel without my husband. I know I am lucky live a comfortable life but what keeps me going are my two little dogs. We just love each other. They are with me 24/7 and they give me a great deal of happiness. Life would not be so good without them. And my only real ambition is to reach 90 because I would be the first in my family to reach that amazing age. One kidney and a heart working with an artificial valve and 4 stents, has not stopped me. I am truly grateful for my life.

Try some of the wonderful suggestions on here, or give yourself 'permission' to just be. There doesn't always have to be an obvious point.
Biglouis, any time that cupboard gets too tempting, please come online and talk to us.

So much that others have written resonates with me. Through the ups & downs of life I could usually manage to talk myself into coping by telling myself "just get through today, that is enough" but in recent months I have found it harder and harder to find that well of positivity. I know for myself it is because I am becoming increasingly aware of my inability to do as much as I would like due to getting older, health problems, loss of loved ones and other not so pleasant events relating to friends & family. No one that I feel I can really talk to about these things as they all have their own challenges & difficulties and I feel guilty adding to the burden. It is obvious that many of us on GN have similar feelings, some are suffering and coping with far more than others. Perhaps there is a degree of comfort in knowing and sharing so thank you.

Gundy.
You are right.
Grateful for what I have, notice small joys.

I have said on here before when not really very "upbeat" find 3 things a day to notice and be grateful for.
The sound of the breeze, the rainbow light on a mirror edge, the helpfulness of a neighbour, the softness of the bed, being less painful than yesterday...

I try to remind myself of what I have.

I suppose this is some people's mindfulness and other's spirituality.

I do sometimes have to remember to look - but have found that the more I look the more I see!

I do identify with those who say oh I was brought up that usefulness was what gave meaning and something of a lack of simply - life is there to be enjoyed like a gift!

Maybe some of us ask what is the point more than others as in a naturally "deep" temperament?

This is my when 6 year old true story and wishing maybe for a different answer.

Me
"mum, why are we here"
mum
"what do you mean darling"
me
"well why are we here on this earth"
mum
"why we're here to help others and make a fairer society"

It must be quite common considering it even has its own name

I can relate with op and am inspired by many of the responses, so thank you all for that. In fact eddiecat78 your idea of going away to study philosophy made me smile, may I go along?

My dh is much like the op's, he just gets on with each day and doesn't think too deeply. He seems mostly content. I'd like to be more like them and do try but there is some deep melancholy within me that often forces it's way to front and center of my existence.

I wonder if there are any group outings or just get togethers near you where they would cater for those with restrictions. I try to comfort myself with remembering that we are human beings not human doings. We are all worthwhile people with inherent worth. We dont have to be doing something to earn that. Though we are certainly socialised to think that way. I take pleasure now in not rushing to things, being able to see new buds, insects, birds, natural beauty. I do desperately need company though