Tracking On Phones.

I think it's a good idea for teenagers who are starting to get some freedom, but not sure about tracking adult children. Fair enough if everyone is happy about it though, and I can see the point that some have made about tracking for the elderly and possibly confused being reassuring for the family.

One of my GDs is 18 but only just finding her feet when it comes to travelling around London on her own to meet up with friends, a couple of times she’s phoned in a panic when making her way home and not sure of the tube or bus route she needs. I think it would be very good for pinpointing her location if she agrees and also from a safety aspect. On the whole if everyone is aware than I think it’s not a bad thing.

Galaxy

I would just say no. The last thing I want is people knowing where I am. Couldnt think of anything worse. Fine as long as everyone agrees as long as no coercion. And I suppose as long as people dont act hurt when people say no.

When you say that you don't want people knowing where you are, I understand that.

I have nothing to hide, I don't visit venues or locations that are in any way 'shady' or dubious - I just want to feel free to spontaneously do something or go somewhere if I feel like it without another person thinking it's 'out of character', or to question why I took one route instead of another. It feels controlling. I don't want a family member or anyone else to speculate, 'well-she-went-there-yesterday-why-is-she-going-there-again-today'...

My late ex's mother was also controlling. She'd call me on occasions when I was out, and the next time we met up, she'd say, "I called you on Tuesday afternoon but you weren't there in an accusatory tone. Dread to even think what she would've said if she'd been able to track me!

I do though understand those who need to keep tabs on vulnerable youngsters or family members going on long trips, or into isolated locations. But that's completely different.

My daughters grandaughters and I use find my friends app. If I am driving long distance on my own my daughter likes to know where I am and when I’ve arrived safely and I use it to know when she’s on her way home from her commute ( we live together) helps get food ready on time etc. Yes both people have to give consent but none of us see it as a problem, more something that helps everyday life

We also put AirTags in everyone’s suitcase when we go on holiday easy to find if they go astray

GC have tracking on their phones so parents can check whereabouts. It is weird weird weird to be checking on AC in their 40s though! Im my day we didnt even have a house phone.

I get the impression that people might think that tracking or location finding is a one way process. When you download and sign into the app you can see where they are and they can see where you are.
For some families it can be useful, indeed helpful.
If you are not one of those families then don't download it. If you want to do a bit of hidden Christmas shopping then turn it off.

My DH and me can track each other. For no other reasons than checking we’ve reached destinations safely and to have meals ready. If ever there was a problem we’d know where the other one is. I find it odd for people to track grown up kids though!

Well, when our son was a teenager tracking didn't exist on mobile phones, at least not for the general public, though I remember there being concern that the police could track private citizens.

Back then we assumed that our teenagers could either ring us or the police if they felt unsafe when out, and thought no more about it, anymore than my parents did when they made sure that my sister and I had six pence in our purses for a phone call when we were old enough to be out in the evening.

Tracking a child by parents seems to me to state bluntly that the parents don't trust the child, and tracking an adult should, I feel, be considered an invasion of their privacy.

But then I am old-fashioned.

Oldbat1

GC have tracking on their phones so parents can check whereabouts. It is weird weird weird to be checking on AC in their 40s though! Im my day we didnt even have a house phone.

Couldn’t agree more. My AC would be horrified and would consider it none of my business.
DGC are tracked and have been for a few years as their schools are a long walk from home and it reassures mum and dad. Also DGS is old enough now to meet up with friends at the local park😕
I would be very annoyed if I thought I was being tracked, I think it’s very weird. Maybe one day if I needed it should I get a bit forgetful and not be able to remember where I left the car.

My daughter’s husband used to track her on her phone. Where she was, when she spent any money. She’s divorcing him now.

Calendargirl

Chatting to a friend, I was astounded when she said she and her DH had tracking on their phones for their sons.

The sons are one in mid 30’s, married with baby, and the other two are early 20’s, still living at home.

How long will this go on, I wonder? Will they still be ‘tracked’ when in their 40’s say?

Should say I think they are all well aware Mum and Dad can see what they are doing.

Also heard about another mum who ‘tracks’ her adult children.

Just seems very odd and OTT to me.

Wouldn't be accepted by our children, very OTT. Another reason to avoid unnecessary mobile phones that don't work out here.

My nephew and I track one another but not with phones - cctv cameras.

A few years ago nephew had a stroke and lay on the floor for 3 days undiscovered until I got a taxi up to his flat concerned that he was not answering. He did make an 80% recovery but still has balance problems. People who have had one stroke have a higher risk of having another.

He now has one of my "old" cameras sited in his hall where it will show him going in and out of his flat and to collect his mail etc. If I did not see him pass it at least once a day I would worry. He camera does not show inside any of the rooms or infringe his privacy and of course he knows its there. I also have a camera sited about the door where I enter and exit the house so he can see me coming and going. The cameras cause each others phones to "ding". We have the security system set up on both our devices and can communicate via if is necessary as all the cameras have a microphone.

Whilst I can see it could be of use in emergency situations, in general I think it’s intrusive and an invasion of privacy.
A friend I was with, on examining her phone, once said ‘oh I wonder what my daughter is doing at the hospital, she didn’t tell me she was going’. As someone’s already said it’s like stalking, and nothing is private any more.

Bobbysgirl you are right, it is used as a stalking device. I would say that it’s fine for parents to track their children and teens on their phones, it’s not right for a husband or wife to track their spouse. It’s an element of control and it’s unhealthy.

I would hate it. A friend of mine uses it with her 40+ year old children, which I don't understand at all. I think they track her too though, so I assume it is by mutual consent.

If Mr Dog wanted to go on a long hike or something I might suggest it, but would switch it off when he got back.

Wheniwasyourage

I think it's a good idea for teenagers who are starting to get some freedom, but not sure about tracking adult children. Fair enough if everyone is happy about it though, and I can see the point that some have made about tracking for the elderly and possibly confused being reassuring for the family.

It's probably a generational thing. Young people don't seem to be worried about it. They certainly don't see it as "being tracked". It is the software that does the "tracking".

People just look when they need to look and it's part of their way of life just as the home telephone was when we were young. Then parents thought it strange that we wanted to make chatty phone calls. Many saw that as something you just used in emergency's.

maddyone

Bobbysgirl you are right, it is used as a stalking device. I would say that it’s fine for parents to track their children and teens on their phones, it’s not right for a husband or wife to track their spouse. It’s an element of control and it’s unhealthy.

It can only be a stalking device for stalkers. Most people have better things to do. Or do you just know an excessive amount of stalkers?

Anything made for good reasons can be used by a minority for bad reasons, but that shouldn't stop us making progress. Older generations rarely value the progress ascp much as the young do.

maddyone

Bobbysgirl you are right, it is used as a stalking device. I would say that it’s fine for parents to track their children and teens on their phones, it’s not right for a husband or wife to track their spouse. It’s an element of control and it’s unhealthy.

If you know or suspect that it is being used to stalk you why wouldn't you just delete the app? If you are uncomfortable about it, why would you download it to your phone and sign in, in the first place? If people use a smart phone they should have enough basic underrstanding to manage that, otherwise they leave themselves vulnerable in all sorts of ways.
Knowledge is power.

When I read on here how invested some people are in their adult children’s lives I’m not surprised to read that people also snoop into their lives by tracking them on their phones.
I can’t think of a single reason why an AC would want their parents to do it.
Keeping an eye on youngsters or vulnerable people for safety reasons is one thing, but on adults otherwise 🤷🏼‍♀️?

NotAGran55

When I read on here how invested some people are in their adult children’s lives I’m not surprised to read that people also snoop into their lives by tracking them on their phones.
I can’t think of a single reason why an AC would want their parents to do it.
Keeping an eye on youngsters or vulnerable people for safety reasons is one thing, but on adults otherwise 🤷🏼‍♀️?

We share a family location app. I look at it to see where my ACs are in the following circumstances:
If they are on their way to see us in France, to check on their progress to see what time they are likely to arrive, especially when there are delays at Eurotunnel. If I am travelling to see them we use the location app to ensure that we meet up smoothly and can find each other in the car park. At the moment I also use it to check when is an appropriate time to message with news relating to illness and hospitalisations.
My family trust me and know how and when I would use the app. I also trust them, but if they were concerned about our wellbeing I would have no problems with them checking to see where we are.
Hope this helps.

Using an app for travelling purposes on a specific journey is a completely different thing to permanently tracking a phone Mamie
When I send messages to my family they pick them up when it’s convenient to themselves, I don’t need to know where they are before I do it. They manage their communications themselves.
At the end of the day providing all parties are happy that’s all that matters.

NotAGran55

Using an app for travelling purposes on a specific journey is a completely different thing to permanently tracking a phone Mamie
When I send messages to my family they pick them up when it’s convenient to themselves, I don’t need to know where they are before I do it. They manage their communications themselves.
At the end of the day providing all parties are happy that’s all that matters.

You are only checking the location of the phone if you look at the app. If you don't open the app you don't know where they are.
The messages I have been sending relate to serious illness and if they saw it arrive they would look immediately. That is why I pick my moments.

It obviously works for you and your family Mamie
I hope you have better news to share with them soon 💐

I long ago gave up thinking some families were unusual.
People all do things differently.

If families are happy with it, like it, find it useful whatever, then I cant see a problem.

Personally I woulnt want to know my daughter has just gone to the supermarket or something, but other families love that type of thing.