Tracking On Phones.

Both parties do have to consent but I wonder how many ACs who consented for a particular reason (travelling, for instance) realise they are being stalked throughout the day as they go about their life? Many would probably laugh it off, depending on who was doing it. I would too, to a certain extent. But it would make me feel a bit queasy, and I don't think I would be comfortable with the stalker in the future. Although I would feel quite sad for anyone watching me go about my fairly boring (to anyone else), mundane life.

My son is 31. We track each other just to know what each of us is doing. No hidden agendas. We find it reassuring. I’m sure I look where he is far more often than he checks me, if ever!

We started a family ‘tracking’ App when teenager DGS took up orienteering. My DD also travels all over the world so it’s useful for us to know when she’s arrived at destinations etc. I think, as long as this tech is used sympathetically and with the knowledge of all parties, it’s very useful and can give peace of mind. TBH, I wish my sister had it on her phone. She’s recently been diagnosed with dementia and has gone ‘walkabout’ a couple of times, causing much anxiety! If she had the tracking app we could have found her much more easily. Unfortunately she’s refusing to have the tech!

I am just so glad that things like this were not around when my mother was alive.

Salti

I am just so glad that things like this were not around when my mother was alive.

So am I! I would probably have been grounded for going as far as the garden gate 🤣

I know many people that track for all different reasons.
My friend’s work tracks her as she works as a career going into strangers homes.
My friend tracks her mum for peace of mind.
I have a habit of getting lost so my late husband used to track me on days I was going somewhere new but I was able to turn it off.
I do not think people are continently checking up on it, rather than just having it in case anything happened.
One of friends found her brother lying in a ditch after being knocked off his bike. If they are aware they are being tracked and are ok with it that’s fine. They are able to turn off their location. It’s when you are being tracked and control it is not fine. All my grandkids are tracked. I am going away by my self in November for the first time, I will have some form of tracking on my phone.

Doodledog

Galaxy

I use technology all the time, it's certainly not that kind of issue with me. I think people struggle with understanding that some people really value privacy etc.

Me too . I love technology and have always been an early adopter, whether young or older. I don't think that means that I have to buy into every new thing that comes along just because it is there, though - I can exercise judgement. Both we and our children value privacy too, so there is no generational element in our choice to opt out of being tracked.

If others, such as my friend and her family, do want to track one another, however, that's up to them, and I wouldn't dream of casting aspersions on either them or their motives.
San Fairy Ann as they never said in France.

When we say "generational issue" Doodledog I don't think we mean the whole of one generation just that it happens more in that generation than other generations.

I'm not writing off the whole of Grandsnet. I know a lot of people are very tech savvy and I've learned a lot from them about things that will help as we get older. "Independence for all" as we get older, is one of my passions.

My son and I have our locations on our maps. It's nice to know that they've got home safely, or when out and about with work that they've arrived at their destination safely or if we're meeting up, that sort of thing.
I don't use it beyond that

Salti

I am just so glad that things like this were not around when my mother was alive.

Oh dear god, yes! My mother made my life hell enough without having been able to track my every movement! I don't have a problem with technology at all - I like to think I'm pretty tech savvy, but I do find some parents' apparent obsession with knowing their adult children's every movement a little strange, to say the least.

My husband and I have trackers on our phones.He’s been ill and if he’s longer on a walk than I expected I can see where he is and if he’s moving.
Unexpectedly it came in handy when he dropped his phone when out for a walk,the tracker told us exactly where his phone was!

oodles

My son and I have our locations on our maps. It's nice to know that they've got home safely, or when out and about with work that they've arrived at their destination safely or if we're meeting up, that sort of thing.
I don't use it beyond that

But you can if you want to, or not. I find it all very exciting. But then I do have a very far flung family and technology really helps us keep in touch and build proper relationships with the whole family including grandchildren.

I wouldn't take the amount of videos that my children take, but again I get to see things that I just wouldn't know about otherwise. My father used to take huge numbers of photographs, which his parents wouldn't, indeed couldn't have taken.

i am 60, my son has a tracker on my phone, i live alone and have a number of health problems, i don't mind, him and his partner have them on there phones so they know when each other is due to arrive for pick up or whatever else.

We all have it, it’s useful when MzOops travels back to Cornwall, I can see when she is within a few miles of home late at night and go to bed knowing she is ok.

MissOops takes the dog for long walks on her own and is comforted that I will at least know where she is if there’s a problem.

However I don’t use it on a day to day basis, I assume they know where I am if they want to look at it at any time.

Once the GCs went to college they removed their names from the list which is fair enough but when our GD went to Japan on her own she switched it back on until she returned home.

It was handy this morning MrOops was convinced that he knew where he was going but I could see he was heading in totally the wrong direction, so I phoned him and pointed it out to him, was he pleased? Not as much as you would think….

I have simple tracking on my phone so my wife can see where I am.

It started 3 years ago when Beloved went through a bout of anxiety. I had just been diagnosed with acute Kidney Injury and she became stressed and anxious if I went out shopping or something and was out longer than expected.

It was my idea to set up our phones so that she could track where I was. It's been a success which helped during her an anxiety attack and I've never bothered to switch it off just in case.
It's also comes in handy, depending on where I am and when she looks, she can have the kettle on when I get home.

Stalking? Oh, give me strength! On my phone it’s called “Location sharing” & it won’t work unless we both switch it on. DS uses it before phoning me in case I’m driving & I use it before phoning him as he hates being called on the train. He often walks to my place which takes about an hour so I use it to see how close he is. They say it takes one to know one & frankly anyone who considers this sinister or creepy should get help.

Azalea99, what you're describing isn't what most people on here would describe as sinister or creepy. We're talking about adults wanting to know where their adult children are at all times. There's a big difference.

Mamie

It seems to me that people throwing their hands up in horror at the very idea have failed to understand that if you don't want it on your phone, you can refuse to install it in the first place, pause it, or just delete the bl**dy thing.

Seems you are totally missing the point about how utterly bizarre and controlling it is to need to track fully capable adults down to the very location. There is literally nothing essential about it. Any justification for it is reaching. It’s enmeshment. There is no practical non-emergent reason for it. No one is arguing against a “Find My iPhone” situation. Devices get lost. That is the primary intended purpose of the tech. And yes, we know how to stop sharing our location on our individual devices. That’s nothing at all to do with knowing every location your married children touch down on. That’s just unhinged. I consider myself a fairly early adopter of practical tech when it comes to my generation. But using technology as yet another means for overly attached parents to track their adult offsprings is screams the need for therapy and healthy boundaries. I say again, I wonder how the spouses of these “men” feel about it. No way any of my daughters in law would put up with such enmeshment.

What makes you think that parents have trackers for their (compliant) ACs are overly attached in the first place? It’s a highly practical use of technology in this day & age. And yes, my DIL is perfectly happy to share her location - largely because she gets lost rather easily.

If she's happy about it, that's fine. I just find it all a bit bizarre, that's all. I would NOT have wanted my parents knowing my whereabouts at all times. I would still feel uneasy about anyone actively tracking me even now. I'm with lyleLyle on this. If you can't see how it can be controlling, then I'm at a loss to explain it to you.

I find it totally bizarre and controlling but if the technology had been available when I was younger my mother would have been outraged when I and my siblings refused to install it. We suffered enough.

With iPhone the find my friends facility has to have the agreement of all concerned . My AC would never agree and I wouldn’t want to be tracking them anyway . Neither would I want to be tracked .
I can see the advantages of using it for teenagers or vulnerable adults.
But to use it to get someone’s dinner on the table as soon as they walk through the door is weird .
I have a friend who tracks her DH and AC and says things like AC is at the gym or the supermarket. Just weird and stalkerish .
And yes I’m very tech savvy and embrace new technologies. My house alarm alerts me when someone enters and leaves the house and I have a ring doorbell, which is useful as my area has had a spate of burglaries. And I have what3words on my phone. But each to their own

I track my Mum or should I say her keys. I always know where her keys are whether she is with them or not!

Azalea99

What makes you think that parents have trackers for their (compliant) ACs are overly attached in the first place? It’s a highly practical use of technology in this day & age. And yes, my DIL is perfectly happy to share her location - largely because she gets lost rather easily.

It’s overly attached because capable, healthy adults having another person seeing every place they are 24/7 isn’t something that has ever been needed, nor does it currently serve a practical purpose. You have plans, call them and confirm. Why the need to watch exactly where they are? Their words aren’t enough? A minor, yes absolutely for obvious reasons you would want to confirm physical locations. Your DIL doesn’t have GPS or any of the myriad of apps to help her find locations? All the actual tech that exists solely for helping people get from one place to another suddenly is less adequate than having you watch her every move? She will get lost if her family doesn’t know where she is at all times? I’ve yet to read a realistic, practical defense. It’s enmeshment. Plain and simple. And for everyone willing to join the previously existing dynamic of enmeshment you can go online and read more posts complaining about spouses whose parents creepily insist on seeing their spouse’s location. This is right up there with having access to your married children’s bank accounts. This is worse than calling every night to make sure they reached home safely. They aren’t children. You shouldn’t know where they are 24/7. The cord needs to be cut at some point.

Just because we can doesn’t always mean we should.

I have an acquaintance whose daughters began ‘tracking’ her for safety reasons when she first arranged to meet a man from an internet dating sight. She was fully aware & quite happy that they were doing this.

My DD often uses the "location" button on WhatsApp when she's out alone walking her dog as she goes for miles in the middle of nowhere. That gives me her live location for a choice of 1, 3 or 5 hours