Soop's warm and welcoming kitchen for kindly folk...

Good to see you Urms - hope you and Mr Urms are positively 'hanging on in there'. Much love and prayers from me x

Urms in my thoughts, both of you ❤️.

Belated Birthday greetings Soop!

Glad you have had a lovely day Soop

Good evening all, the boiler engineer arrived just after 9am, all sorted and done in no time. It’s been warm and sunny here, had a walk around the marina, sorted some paperwork, quite tired so nothing too strenuous. Pasta with a light cheese sauce for dinner, now admiring a lovely pink and blue sunset from the comfort of my recliner.

T,OYA x

Belated birthday wishes to you Soop, hope you had a lovely one 💐🍰🛍🥳x

I am just creeping into the kitchen and gathering my thoughts in the peace of this place, Thank you all for your messages and the love and support that although virtual I felt it clearly. I thought on Sunday I was starting to get over the events of last week but as I walked into church albeit completely different to the one the funeral was held in I had flashback and started to shake and felt a panic attack coming on and by then Mass had startedand we sit at the front as DOH is still in the early days of practisinghis faith and he likes being close to the priest and choir etc. Luckily he realised what was happening and a full blown attack was averted but I just started to cry and remained weepy through the whole service really.My plans to get to the church early were thwarted as despite arriving at 11am for a 12 noon mass, the daughters and their husbands and 8 of the DGS arrived at the same time (I almost felt like they knew what I was hoping to do which was to slip in the side door and sit in the balcony area. I had no choice but to stay in the car (my good friend and her husband remained in theirs too). DOH had got out of the car and gone to walk the dogs and had seen whatwas happening and therefore couldn'treturn to be with me. A couple of the funeral directors walked past and I discreetlyasked them if they could open the side door and take the small bunch of sweet peas Ihad picked with tem,, they returned a minute later to say thatthe family had said that anyone attending had to go through the main door where they were all congregated and it was family flowers only. (I may have been paranoid by then but I did feel they were waiting to turn me away).I was shaking so badly by then and wishing I had thoughtto takesome propranolol which I have been given for panic attacks (but not needed in recent times). Eventually a few moments before 12 they all went into the church and DBF and her husband and I slipped in at the back. It was a hard moment seeing a lovely picture of my sister when she was in her teens alongside the coffin. There were flowers but they were paper sunflowers made by the grandchildren and a bunch of real sunflowers from the daughters. The Grandsons all took part in the mass , they have all grown so much in the 4 years, I think they had all been told not to look at me but DGS7 did and he smiled at me, I will keep that memory for ever. My sister was in education all her working life and would thoroughly have approved of the children being a big part of her requiem mass. On leaving the church packets of sunflower seeds were being given out to plant in her memory , needless to say I was not offeredany.The order of service stated that following the mass there would be a committalat the crematorium for close family only.When I approached the chapel at the crematorium a funeraldirector walked towards me and said I am afraid I cannot allow you to go in the family do not want you in there, I explained I was her sister but he just repeated the same message. He was very apologetic and when I asked if I could stand outside he said of course. So that is what I did. Towardsthe end of the prayers the door opened and my D1 almost snarled at me 'come on' and I was allowed to sprinkle the coffin with holy water and hear the final prayers.The shaking was so bad by then I thoughtI might trip up thesteps to the coffin. I was the last to leave the chapel and had a few moments to say God Bless and till we meet again to my sister. On leaving the chapel the family were all outside with their backs turned and I briefly touched my D1s arm and whispered 'Thank You'. Getting back to the car I was in such a state and didn'tknow if I should have said thank you to all of them and not just D1 so I sent a short text to Son in law 3 (I only keep his number as his brother (my former lodger) is still a close friend and he suffers from epilepsy and I would have to contact him if anything should happen while he was visiting us). I asked himto thank all the girls for allowing me a final farewell. I suppose if I am really truthful I hoped that there might have been a softening of heart but it was definitelynot to be as the next day I received a vicioustext from D2 saying they didn't want my thanks and that I wasn'twanted at the funeral but it was a public event and therefore they couldn't stop me attending. I will never ever understand what has led them to this, there has never been a clear explanationof what I did wrong apart from meeting DOH. The whole thing has left me broken inside and a sadness has descended and settled within me and although I am still carrying on like normal I dontthink it will ever really leave me.

Oh Nn
My heart is full of sympathy for you.
What an ordeal for you.
Do you wish you hadn’t gone or are you relieved that at least you said goodbye to your sister?
What is it that makes people especially family so bitter and full of hatred.
I pray your very strong faith will carry you through and that gradually the hurt and grief will lessen to manageable proportions and that you will remember your sister with much love and without the trauma.

O Naughty - my heart goes out to you. It is beyond me how horrid people can be particularly at such a sad time. A lacking in empathy I think.
The problem is theirs, not yours, but you are the one suffering. Hold on to your faith, grieve in you own way in your own time. Wishing you strength and hope that time will heal your heart.

I haven’t completely caught up with you all yet but just realised that I missed soop’s birthday yesterday so am sending belated birthday wishes. I hope you had a wonderful day. 🎂🥂🥳💐

I cannot believe how heartless some people can be Nn and I hope the memory of this awful experience will fade with some pleasant days -perhaps out somewhere nice with loving people.
Try not to dwell on it, look around you at the good things, at those you love and who love you.
You deserve better

Dear Neine, I'm so sorry to hear about how difficult and upsetting your dear sister's funeral was for you.
You were very brave and did the right thing by paying your respects to your dear sister and praying for her Eternal Rest. Please take some comfort from that, also from your DGrandson's smile and your final blessing of her coffin, these are the memories to cherish. Place all your hurt and pain into God's hands, for healing. So sorry. 🙏💐💕

Oh N what a cruel experience for you. How can people be so unthinking. I pray the grandchildren, when they are old enough, can get in touch.

Thinking about your GC, what a very unChristian attitude and example to be giving to them as they grow up.
Do your family attend Church regularly?

Neine so sorry to read about how you were treated at your dear sisters funeral. Just like grannmarie says you did the right thing by paying your respects and now you’re suffering for it. But think back on your DGSs smile and that you got a few moments alone with your sister the end of the service to say your final farewells. It sounds like your DOH is very supportive, I hope you can enjoy some happier times together with him ❤️💐

Neine my heart goes out to you. I'm glad you got to say goodbye to your sister, much love xxx

Oh Neine that is utterly heartbreaking. I am so sorry you had to endure that. How your children can live with themselves, let alone be so hypocritical to venture inside a church, is beyond me.

Your description of the small things, such as the smile and the final words to your sister are beautiful. Hold onto those thoughts and the good memories of your sister.

That is appalling cruelty NaughtyNeine, I’m glad you felt able to tell us in here xx

NaughtyNeine I am speechless with disgust. Those who behaved despicably are NOT Christian in the true sense of the word. They should be ashamed of themselves. Our love goes out to you.

https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202308/medium-948569-p1017723.jpg https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202308/medium-57161-p1017727.jpg

ixion Thank you for the delightful card.

Thank you for all your kind messages. It was a "full-on" day. The sun shone throughout. I spoke on the phone to family in England. A video of Torben and Miles singing "Happy Birthday" on a visit to Sweden, made my day. The hours rushed by at a rate of knots. Mr Soop and I are the same age; 82. That is until November when he reaches his 83rd,

Photo taken in the garden. Sparrows joined in the fun.

Urms, lovely lady, I am sending you a gentle virtual hug.

Well, let's all have a group hug. I would enjoy the experience.

Im joining in the group hug please soop and kitchen pals 🤗
I love the birds on the tree photo, I hope they were all singing Happy Birthday to you ! 🎶
I’m going to try a new salsa dancing class at the gym this evening … I’m more of a morning person for the gym but my friend has talked me into going with her tonight …will let you know how we get on later!

Beautiful birthday photo, Soop, your necklace goes perfectly with your dress.
Group hug is a great idea, I'm very happy to join in.
Hello 👋 Urms, thinking of you and Himself 💕🙏
Enjoy your salsa class, Brook, I really admire your energy. I had a park walk with my sisters yesterday evening, but my energy is still very low so I have done very little today.
Our good news is that DGS1, 16, did very well in his Highers, the results came out yesterday. We are very proud of him, he has worked really hard.
Bad news is that my wee car has failed its MoT....
TOYA

Truly appalling neine compounded by being at such a sad time, lean on your DOH and hopefully the passing weeks will reduce your pain.
Lovely pictures soop.
Good luck with that brook going out in the evening is a rare event here.
My daughter and children are safely ensconced on their holiday isle for a week, I was tracking their plane this morning until it landed, first foreign holiday together.
Washing done and dry, walks x 2 done, phone calls made, later we have to go and feed the holidaymakers cats.
Frittata for dinner, using up leftovers.
Enjoy your evening.

Lovely photo Soop, so pleased you had a nice birthday.

I feel so sorry for you Neine to have to go through that experience.What a brave lady you are.🌹

That’s great your DGS has done so well in his exams Grandmarie,my DGS has another 2 weeks to wait for his results.

Hi Urms you and your DH always in my thoughts.

The clearing out continues hope to get a moving date very soon now.
It’s a lovely sunny day here enjoy your evening everyone.

Oh Neine, how cruel and smug some people can be, my heart goes out to you.