Decluttering - breaking the habit of keeping things ‘for best’

I’m an undomesticated gadabout and love dressing up, so wear most of the clothes in my (crammed) wardrobe. If I can’t sleep, I sometimes put an outfit together in my head, with accessories and always put out the clothes for the following day if I’m going somewhere, as I’m sure many do.

The only thing I keep for special occasions is my MIL’s China dinner service, but it comes out pretty regularly when I get round to clearing the dining room table of music and art and get round to cooking properly. Also a silver tea set, last used when my new next door neighbour moved in and I invited her round for a cuppa. She never invited me back lol, but I think she likes to keep to herself which suits me fine.

keepcalmandcavachon Sun 06-Aug-23 19:09:33
If I pop in to the supermarket or go for coffee on Tuesday I shall look out for the Dress up Tuesday Gals especially for Chocolatelovinggran's wedding attire and Foxygloves lame` and tiara. I too shall try to do us proud
Chocolatelovinggran Sun 06-Aug-23 17:02:21
I'm up for Dress Up Tuesday...I have mother of the bride/ groom outfits that would be perfect for a supermarket trip
You go, gals! Now is it to be Waitrose or Aldi I shall grace “in full fig” not forgetting my pearls of course ?

I’ve been thinking about this a lot over the last few days, and I’m sorting out my airing cupboard out this morning to bring into use my best towels. (who needs best towels?). I think it’s a problem for me because I always like to have something to look forward to, and that’s translated from holidays, days out etc. into my possessions as well. Logically it makes no sense, I can afford to replace things if I need to and have the pleasure of the nice things now.
It’s been really interesting listening to all your perspectives on this, and I’m encouraged by those who don’t keep anything much ‘for best’. I’ll join in the wedding outfits shopping Tuesday too.

When I was a child my parents were friends with a couple who had a 'best room'. I was too young to know when this room was used. But I remember, just once being taken into the best room. The two daughters each had a 'best doll'. The two dolls, wearing pretty dresses, sat on the 'best sofa'. I think the girls were allowed to play with their dolls on Sundays. So, I'm guessing it was a Sunday when I was shown the dolls.

When I was a child we had the 'room' saved for best....in case of visitors!! Then there was clothes, shoes, crockery........ I still have to fight against this mindset!!!

I have a large cabinet full of china and crystal. I got married in 1966 and divorced in 1989. No one wants it or needs it but it dots there on my living room. I am too old now and certainly don't need it anymore. No doubt when I go my daughters don't want it but I can't bear to get rid of it myself

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When my grandmother died I sorted out her things. The large drawer at the bottom of her dressing table was full of things she had kept for best. Perfume, jewellery, toiletries etc. most of which had been gifts from her family. I thought it was so sad that she hadn’t used them and got the enjoyment we had thought we were giving her. Whenever I find myself thinking I’ll save something for best and I do, I remember that sad drawer stuffed with unused things.

Oh and I’m up for dress up Tuesday. I usually do my shopping in Aldi on a Wednesday but I think I’ll change to a day earlier.

It makes me sad in charity shops to see beautiful china dinner services, hardly used, going for about £50.
Now, I have put away my earthenware crockery and am using my "best" china every day. If the dishwasher is a bit hard on it, so be it. At least I'm getting pleasure from seeing it on my table.

I too was brought up in a home where there was china, glasses and cultery "for best", tablecloths deemed too good for daily use, and Sunday clothes, although my parents were not regular church-goers.

I decided as an adult to use my "good" china, glasses etc. but tended for years to have "good" clothes and "ordinary" clothes.

However, the clothes were those I wore for work, or those I wore at home, plus those that only came out of the wardrobe for job interviews, theatre-going, parties or funerals - I do still have clothes for parties and funerals and clothes I wear for gardening and housework.

But by and large - we have n ice things because we like them, so it seems mad to keep them " for best" - it will do me, presumably, no good if they are only used at my funeral!

We were lucky to have had a small wedding and no high value dinnersets etc. All my basic stuff is white and easily replaced. I had the sad chore of clearing my mother's house and her precious china collected over the years went to auction and sold for buttons. It was gilded porcelain so no good for microwave. I do have a drawer of items that I keep for presents eg nice hand lotion for someone in hospital or small items for visiting someone for first time. As kids we had few items of clothing having a school uniform and then 'hand me downs' but there was the custom of 'Sunday Best'. Not just for women but menfolk who would use the gold watch not the silver work one. Churchgoing was the custom too so family had to look their best.

My parents had a reception room that was only used at Christmas or for important visitors teresa62 it was beautifully furnished but such a shame it was so rarely used.
When my mother died I found the gifts I had sent her over the years all unused wrapped in tissue paper. After that I decided to use/wear everything and not keep anything for 'best'.

I never used to know what to buy DM for birthdays and Christmas as we are very different and she 'never needed anything so don't bother'. I used to buy her lovely jumpers from M&S, knowing she wouldn't wear them but thinking that she would take them and exchange them for something she wanted. A few years ago she mentioned that she had kept them all, they were in the loft wrapped up. I was staggered, literally over a thousand pounds worth of clothes sitting in her loft because she didn't like to exchange gifts or get rid of them. I suggested vouchers but found out that she didn't like using them and ended up buying a load off her that she would never use.

I totally agree with you all, the time is now, it’s too late to wait, to use what has been saved, when time has passed. Make use of it now. And Enjoy.

Just clearing my dad’s house and have put a bag labelled “large unused white damask tablecloths” in my car to keep and take home. When did I last use a tablecloth??? leaves the room to empty car 🤣

Joseann mentioned china serving dishes, that is one of the items I see most of in Charity Shops. People just don,t use them as dishes that go in the microwave and oven to tableware are the norm now. Vegetables soon get cold when served in china tureens.

I didn't say Oops when I found out! Something a little stronger! It was genuine and thank you you for the correct spelling of Clarice! All water under the bridge now.

I so agree Pandapatch. I lost my 32 year old daughter 3 years ago and as a family we know the truth that tomorrow is NOT a given... so saving things for best is not something we do any more.

I am an army brat and spent my childhood constantly on the move. This meant that belongings were always limited and the idea of having anything that you didn't use regularly was an idea that was completely alien.

My mother had a best' dinner service, cutlery and table clothes, but army life was social, she regularly gave dinner parties and 'good' china was far too expensive to replace to risk using it every day,

But 'best' did not mean it was never used, it was, regulalry, whereas I get the feel in this thread that 'best' often means something you do not use.

I cannot seethe point in owning things I do not use. Once something isn't needed, or, with gifts, is something I would never use, it soon finds its way to the charity shop. or auction.

LizzieL

I so agree Pandapatch. I lost my 32 year old daughter 3 years ago and as a family we know the truth that tomorrow is NOT a given... so saving things for best is not something we do any more.

So sorry to hear that LizzieL, our son was 34, thinking of you all

We've many sets of crockery. Mums, Mils, Aunts, GPs, Sisters, etc, and our own - I love crockery. I attempted to rid us of a set, gave serving pieces to our daughters and rest to charity. Bought it all back plus many more sets for a wedding garden party. I'm hoping to get rid of much crockery, linens, silver after a fall wedding party we're hosting.

I do use what we have - often, I love pretty things.

It's hard to declutter but when I log into youtube,pick a decluttering programme or similar it gives the urge to get something done, even a small area, at the moment I'm trying to get motivated to do something while my dh takes his sleep time(stroke patient) the other day I looked at a box of bits and pieces in the kitchen junk drawer, it was so long since I took anything out of this box of stuff we will need sometime I rattled it around a bit and dumped the lot in the bin, couldn't tell you now what was in it apart from a battery and a pencil sharpener , think I will dump another without looking at it closely ,wish I could get the courage to tip the whole drawer in the bin, maybe this programme will help

Albangirl14

Joseann mentioned china serving dishes, that is one of the items I see most of in Charity Shops. People just don,t use them as dishes that go in the microwave and oven to tableware are the norm now. Vegetables soon get cold when served in china tureens.

The ones the cat smashed had big lids in the shape of domes!

Now that I live alone, I have downsized to a tiny wee house, and just don't have enough storage to keep all the 'best' things I used to have stashed away. I realise that I'm never going to host 10 people round a table again (I don't have that many chairs now!) so I have got rid of lots of china and numerous sets of glasses (champagne/brandy/sherry/beer/highball etc) that I will just never use. I splashed out on some lovely Emma Bridgewater china which I use every day, and which makes me very happy. I'm working my way through my clothing: I still have lots of 'smart' trousers and tops which I used to wear for work, but now I'm an OAP, I just bumble around in leggings and checked shirts most of the time, so I will gradually give items to charity. Same with handbags, I have a ton of those kept for 'special occasions'. Don't think I'm in line for many special occasions these days, so the fancy bags can go! I just need a cross-body bag and a small backpack for long walks.

I splashed out on some lovely Emma Bridgewater china which I use every day.
My DD has that, it's very eye catching.

The subject of Possessions has been on my mind: in December I managed to set my house on fire and thick black smoke coated all that I own. Much was thrown out and the rest taken to a warehouse to be fumigated. I am in temporary accommodation, living in two rooms, while my house is put back together and I’m living out of a suitcase. Eight months on, I can barely remember what filled all those cupboards in my house. Why did I need all those gadgets in the kitchen, all those clothes, all those books? What was the point of it all? It does make you think!