Restaurant group meals – splitting the bill or just paying your own share?

I once went on a works meal , which included a very self centred girl from our team . While I had one course and one soft drink , she proceeded to have 3 courses and a bottle of wine ( and additional drinks) . When she suggested splitting the bill , I’m afraid I was very blunt and said ‘ I don’t think so ; I’ll just pay mine ‘ She had more money than me and I was not paying for her excesses ( gosh ….it’s all coming back to me …I feel quite annoyed 😂😂😂!!!
Nobody argued but nobody else had the courage to say the same as me …maybe I’m just tight ( I know I’m not 😊😊)

We tend to split the bill equally whether it’s friends or family , big or small group . It’s so much easier . Thankfully most of us drink and eat similar things. ie tap water rather than bottled water.
If people are driving , we’ll ask for the food and drink bill to be separate.
On weekends away, holidays with friends , family we have a kitty to pay for meals out.
We do have one couple who always order a starter, steak or something expensive and g & t s, fizz, and desserts, while the rest of us drink beer or house wine and have a main only. There’s always lots of eye rolling when we’re out with them .

I am going to the theatre with a group of people this week, I don’t know how many we will be as I only know the person who invited me. After the show we are going to quite am expensive London restaurant. Not sure how it will pan out re the bill.

Some years ago my dh and I were invited to join a couple with our and their adult children. We only knew the couple and their 2 adult children.
It was a long drive for us so dh wasn’t drinking and I wasn’t well so we had very little to eat and nothing more than water to drink. Our total bill was under £25.
A group of friends of the other couples AC joined the table, ordering food and plenty of drinks.
The bill was divided ‘equally’, and our ‘share’ was £70.
We never said a word but wish we had. Lesson learned.
We usually split equally with good friends and often pay it all if with family.

We usually split the bill evenly. However, on one occasion when one of the diners decided he was only going to pay for what he and his wife ate it was problematic at the end.

10 of us had gone to a vineyard to buy wine "en primeur" for collection the following year. Lunch was booked and when we arrived we were given wine to drink as a gift. The couple in question declined the wine and asked for bottles of sparkling water. He insisted that because we weren't paying for the wine, they should not have to pay for the water. Another bottle of wine was ordered (on the bill) and after we had coffee. The food cost for each of us was fairly equal.

When the waiter came with bill he insisted that he was just going to pay for what they'd had and so he went to the counter, told the person on the till what they'd had (excluding the water) and paid.

The head waiter was pissed off and we could hear him muttering about Les Anglais to other customers. Each couple then went to pay, causing a log jam. My DH and I were last to and were charged an extra 18 euros(including the water) because some people forgot their coffee. When we got outside he was still moaning about not having free water. I was extremely angry with him but didn't want to make a scene in front of the others. Later I did tell our mutual friends - everyone knew how hot tempered he was so it was no shock.

It all happened so quickly that we didn't even have to time to say give us the money for what you had and we'll split the balance between us. 18 euros was not a massive amount of money admittedly - it was the thought that counted.

I would probably just pay for my own meal and a tip. I don't have alcohol or anything except tap water to drink and I can only eat small meals. I don't want to have to subsidise other people's meals.

I always pay my share plus tip. This is because I do bot drink alcohol - but everyone knows this anyway so it's not a problem with friends and family or work coleagues.

On another occasion my DH met a coupl of friends in a local pub for supper. He arrived before them, ordered a pint which he paid for. The couple arrived and t heir drinks were put on the tab. Wen the bill came the other said to my DH we'll split the bill in two. My DH said no, he was just going to pay his share. The other man was rather surprised but DH thought why should he pay for someone else's wife?

There is/was a vegan restaurant in London which is self service. When you've helped yourself your plate of food is weighed and you are charged accordingly. That way is very fair I think.

Here in France it's easier in many ways. We usually meet up with friends at lunchtime and have the set menu which is reasonably priced. Whoever is driving might have one glass of wine or beer but the rest of us don't drink much more.

Oh I miss those prix fix lunches in France. Wonderful value and usually delicious.

The people I go out with know that I rarely drink alcohol and the bill is calculated to reflect this. I would feel very annoyed if this wasn’t the case. I prefer to go somewhere where you can order and pay for your own drinks at the bar and only the food is on the final bill.

I used to go for ward night's out meals. The doctors would eat and drink whatever they fancied and then expect everyone to split the bill.. nowadays I usually just pay for myself if with a friend or we treat each other.. If we go to London to see an exhibition she had an art card, so saves me money and I will buy snacks and coffees.

A group of colleagues used to just split the bill; most had average priced meal and most no or only one drink as driving. Then a new lady joined in who always had fillet steak and ordered a bottle of red.. for everyone to share of course.
I was very cross one night after being expected to pay well over £20 for my £12 dinner so actually said something. Thankfully my colleagues were feeling the same so from then on we just pay individually for what we have. I do hate to see groups of women faffing about working out pennies but tbh it’s a much better plan for us.

It's a difficult one isn't it. I went out recently in a group setting and we split the bill but a friend did 'grumble'to me afterwards as she'd worked out she paid £8 for one orange juice as that was her one drink during the course of the meal whereas bottles of wine were ordered for the rest of us.

We just split the bill with friends and sometimes pay all for the family when they visit. Unless there was a big discrepancy in consumption we wouldn't dream of working it out to the last penny.

Pascal30 a very familiar situation. It's OK for the Consultants and Registrars to order (and not share) expensive wines apparently then split the bill evenly with other NHS staff on much lower salaries. I was amazed and how insensitive they were and usually subsidised the nursing assistants and domestic staff costs.

These days I usually eat out with my son and his partner and we all take it in turns to pay.
Occasionally, I'll meet up with a few friends and we'll usually go somewhere cheap like Wetherspoons and we all pay for our own food/drinks.
In the past, especially if eating out with work colleagues, I always insisted on paying my own bill because I was usually the designated driver and only ever had a small main meal, never a starter or dessert, whilst others would have all 3 courses and alcohol. Plus, I was the lowest paid of the whole group, so couldn't see why I should be expected to subsidise their shares of the bill.

Last time I went to a fancy restaurant was mum's 70th (11 years this year!) and it was a major bunfight, set her back quite abit as she invited extended family. As being brought up on a pittance, we NEVER wasted food and the amount these family members wasted........ Going back for 2nd's then leaving half on their plate! Dad's 70th wasn't as generous, we all went to McDonald's! Same family members, I think there was about 30 of us walking into the Rhyl branch. (That was when you paid&display on seafront parking and on back of ticket was money off at McDonald's! He and mum went weekly for several months to build up the discounts.) Dad, much tighter, likes a bargain! A few years earlier, we scattered his parents ashes (another big occasion) his brother suggested the whole family (same big mob) go to the restaurant a mile away for a good feed, we ALL for that, until dad realised he would have to pay for his children/grandchildren (our share was 19 of us!). We never got the meal, the others did, Dad said HE wasn't paying!! In the end, we went to McDonald's, mum paid, dad said he'd do without! (He's a scrooge!!)

My friend is a waitress and said people often ask for a bill for food and separate one for drink. That makes it easier for the non drinkers

I recently met up with an old schoolfriend. She told me that she regularly sees one of my first boyfriends as she worked with his wife. Apparently they have this bizarre arrangement when she and her husband go out with them for a meal.

The bill for 4 gets split down the middle. Then my old boyfriend and his wife split it again so they both pay for their half separately!! Thank God I didn’t marry him. What a cheapskate. 😝

DD had several family members invite themselves over for the weekend. Along with providing food for them for two days they all went to a newly opened bar/restaurant. The family decided to use one bar tab for all of them which DD paid. She’s still waiting fir the rest of the family to reimburse her. It’s caused no end of bad feeling.

Aveline

Pascal30 a very familiar situation. It's OK for the Consultants and Registrars to order (and not share) expensive wines apparently then split the bill evenly with other NHS staff on much lower salaries. I was amazed and how insensitive they were and usually subsidised the nursing assistants and domestic staff costs.

exactly!!!

If we go out with my son and his family so 4 of them and 2 of us. I tend to pay the bill. I too am starting to budget more because the costs are so high now. I’m worried about a meal for next week for my sons 40th. It was suppose to be just the 6 of us but now there are 12 and I don’t know who the other 6 are. The restaurant is expensive no mains below £20. Because of this I’m only going to pay for the 2 of us. I’m not prepared to split a bill with people I don’t know. I’ve been at meals out where certain people have more than most and it’s cost us a lot. I don’t think I’m being selfish.

I always pay just for what I ordered. Don't think bill-splitting is fair.

Jaydee I learned my lesson in a similar situation ( earlier post). You are not being selfish.

JayDee60

If we go out with my son and his family so 4 of them and 2 of us. I tend to pay the bill. I too am starting to budget more because the costs are so high now. I’m worried about a meal for next week for my sons 40th. It was suppose to be just the 6 of us but now there are 12 and I don’t know who the other 6 are. The restaurant is expensive no mains below £20. Because of this I’m only going to pay for the 2 of us. I’m not prepared to split a bill with people I don’t know. I’ve been at meals out where certain people have more than most and it’s cost us a lot. I don’t think I’m being selfish.

Crikey, I wouldn’t like to pay for 12 either. It was my husband’s birthday in July and 5 of us went and I treated everybody and that was bad enough! Mains, desserts and drinks soon add up. I did have a 30% discount off mains though which helped.

Are you going to mention this before the day to your son? I would or you could be put in an embarrassing position.

Best to find out how the bill is to settled at the outset of the meal if money is really an issue. With electronic payment it's not so difficult to ask for separate bill at the beginning, and to make a polite reason for leaving to catch a bus, get a lift, miss the traffic, needing to be up early the following day etc . before bill splitting occurs.

I usually do agree to split the bill even if I've had only one course and a soft drink, as the bill splitting at the end tends to spoil the evening if it takes a while to work it out. However the one thing that really riles me is when someone who has ordered expensive items and perhaps a cocktail as well pipes up that the bill was ' good value' . Of course it will be good value if you have been subsidised significantly by others in the group. I recall once having to subsidize a group meal for ten people by £3 per head as I ended up paying £30.00 over and above what my meal cost. But I accepted it was just part of the cost of attending, although I do recall not attending the next meal with the same group as money was tight when I was younger.