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Restaurant group meals – splitting the bill or just paying your own share?

(89 Posts)
biglouis Sat 05-Aug-23 15:43:44

Saw a discussion over on Mumsnet where an OP on a budget got bamboozled into paying for far more (£40) for her own food and non-alcoholic drink when the bill was split. Several members of the party had an expensive main and wine. Of course she grumbled about it afterwards but felt she could not say anything at the time as she would have “felt awkward”.

My feeling is that if everyone has much the same thing – say within £5 - then splitting is the easiest way to go. However I have never hesitated to just pay for my own plus a tip contribution if what I had was a great deal less expensive.

What would you do? Insist upon paying for your own/separate bill – or just subsidise others and resent is in silence?

Jennyluck Mon 07-Aug-23 20:05:19

This is a really interesting post. I think most people have the same view. Non of us are mean, but we don’t like being taken advantage of.

Jackiest Mon 07-Aug-23 20:55:55

If it is family we split or just pay it but if I go out with a group then we always pay our own as the most expensive can be over twice the cheapest.

TwinLolly Mon 07-Aug-23 21:40:00

Work get togethers at restaurants - I was always miffed when I ended up sponsoring other colleagues drinks and meals, I never ate much nor drank. Many were married or in a relationship but I was single and couldn't afford much. I learned (9 years too late) to leave before everyone else (10th and final year) and pay for my own dinner, therefore knocking one thing off the final bill.

hilz Mon 07-Aug-23 21:44:56

Haha I expect we all know someone who abuses the split bill scenario. I certainly have been on nights out where some have downed copious drinks along side their meals and happily split the bill and why wouldn't they!. I also know that some only choose an expensive item if the bill is being split. I think the difference is going out with friends. I would happily share just as i would happily buy them a drink but if one of the group had something far cheaper than the majority I would suggest they pay for just theirs its up to them then.
We as a couple often go out with a single friend and wouldnt expect them to go halfs but we often take turns with them treating each other. Or we might get the drinks bill and they pay half the food so it still feels fair to us all. I have been to places in a large group where the waitresses have asked if we prefer seperate or joint bills. That must be a real pain for them.

Alison333 Mon 07-Aug-23 22:31:25

If with friends, we split the bill unless we're with non-drinkers when we pay for the wine. If with family, usually adult children and grandchildren, we normally pay the whole bill.

SachaMac Mon 07-Aug-23 23:34:04

If out with friends we tend to pay for our own food & drink now unless we have all had something of a similar value and then we would just split the bill. If I’m out with my close family I’m happy to throw in more than my share or occasionally I’ll treat them & foot the bill.

If you’re out in a large group it’s easy to end up subsidising other peoples expensive menu choices. It’s unfair to split the bill if some people have had a fillet steak and expensive wine while others have chosen a jacket potato & soft drinks, especially in the current economic climate.

FoghornLeghorn Mon 07-Aug-23 23:51:21

biglouis

Thinking more here of large friendship or work groups rather than family or small groups of intimate friends. If someone has a starter, expensive main and pudding with several glasses of wine then it would be most unfair to ask somone who had a soft drink and only a veggie main to split.

Ive always found the simplest way is to take cash, leave the appropriate amount on the table and then go to the loo or leave the restaurant and let those who want to split the bill argue it out. Or ask the waiter at the beginning of the meal for a separate bill.

Apart from being extremely rude, in my experience the few times fellow diners have done this they invariably do not leave enough cash. I once asked one of these chuck and run diners for the extra she owed when I next saw her. She was quite surprised but paid up with very bad grace.

Glenco Tue 08-Aug-23 03:40:33

Definitely prefer to pay our own. We often can't really afford a big meal and taylor our meal accordingly so it would be very hard for us to split the bill.

Jackiest Tue 08-Aug-23 04:32:53

Paying for your own is quite common and it is about time restaurants did individual bills instead of trying to divide it up at the end.

Saggi Tue 08-Aug-23 07:28:36

I dine with siblings + their partners regularly …. I attend on my own… making a party of 7 . We always split the bill 4 ways (I.E.couples) ….I just don’t think it’s dawned on my siblings yet , as I’m still married , that my husband NOT being there ( Alzheimers) isn’t part of the couple thing. Odd as it’s been two years since he’s been there. It will dawn on them…. until then I’m happy with situation as I’m just so pleased that with age ranges of 73(me) and 84 , my sister , with two bro’s in between were all still here and able to meet up. And I’m the poorest. It doesn’t matter does it. Just enjoy the time with family and freinds.

Hetty58 Tue 08-Aug-23 07:30:45

Jackiest, yes, exactly! It was always a bone of contention at work, creating bad feeling - and limiting what you could reasonably order. Most people were quite happy to split the bill - but there were the (vocal, killjoy) others, not happy at all.

Those who didn't drink and/or had small appetites were angry about paying for others. People who did drink - and/or ate a lot - just thought the first group were mean and petty. I don't drink but do eat a lot - so was upset about missing out on my starter or pudding!

Saggi Tue 08-Aug-23 07:34:39

….must add I only ever went to company ‘do’s’ half a dozen times where the bill was always individual payments….agreed beforehand!

Chocolatelovinggran Tue 08-Aug-23 08:19:07

Oh Primrose, you had a lucky escape there!