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Intrusive questions

(67 Posts)
Sago Sun 06-Aug-23 10:28:15

It’s down to personal choice, I have started threads for example “ the strange things we do” I confessed to sleeping with a handkerchief and pulling very odd faces whilst applying mascara.
I think the above is fun and not intrusive.
The “first time” thread, I could never read or contribute, it’s far too personal but if others want to share such information it’s fine.
Threads re personal hygiene etc are usually about normalising behaviour and that’s fine too.
I agree with the OP though that these are questions I would never dream of asking a friend.

Sidelined Sun 06-Aug-23 10:25:55

While I avoid contentious threads I appreciate the small and sometimes personal ones. They give me useful information about things that maybe I wouldn’t raise with anyone face to face, thank goodness.

Wyllow3 Sun 06-Aug-23 10:24:40

Blondiescot

Isn't that the beauty of somewhere like GN? There are always going to be deep meaningful threads which some posters like to get their teeth into, others where posters are happy to offer helpful hints or advice - and then the light-hearted, even silly ones which offer a bit of fun. You dip into the ones which interest you and scroll past the ones which don't.

This.

I think the anonymity means that some real problems yes including those you feel are TMI means you can get help and support from here and no where else.

. Bodily functions overmuch included. the brave lady who got so much help and support about leakage from a TMI place.

Emotional dilemmas you can feel so alone with and NOT talk about to family or R Life friends.

Its possible there might be less of these threads if access to medical help were easier, but the reality is, its often not.

No one forces anyone to read or join in a thread. Walk on by?

ixion Sun 06-Aug-23 10:20:37

I think the reason many of these threads emerge is to address the angst of people who need to know Am I normal?

Galaxy Sun 06-Aug-23 10:18:44

Some of the personal ones eg bowel habits are trolls so it is worth being a little cautious.

Blondiescot Sun 06-Aug-23 10:17:56

Isn't that the beauty of somewhere like GN? There are always going to be deep meaningful threads which some posters like to get their teeth into, others where posters are happy to offer helpful hints or advice - and then the light-hearted, even silly ones which offer a bit of fun. You dip into the ones which interest you and scroll past the ones which don't.

Riverwalk Sun 06-Aug-23 10:16:57

I don't think they're intrusive - never saw the shredding toilet paper one! Threads like hair washing can be useful e.g. if someone washes everyday as it's greasy, a poster might recommend a particular dry shampoo.

I start foodie threads - it's interesting to see what the nation is eating and get ideas.

Horses for courses.

Witzend Sun 06-Aug-23 10:15:50

Maybe the posters think GN is a bit short of interesting threads (IMO it often is) so they thought one such would attract replies.

On an anonymous forum (I know some GNers do know each other in person but many don’t) presumably plenty don’t mind being asked, and are happy enough to reply.

BlueBelle Sun 06-Aug-23 10:14:33

Well to you, but obviously not to lots of others I think sharing stuff like can give a feeling of having something in common with someone else
Surely not a lot of harm in it is there ?

Foxygloves Sun 06-Aug-23 10:11:01

I have no objection to “lightweight” as those who know me must be aware, but personal hygiene and toilet habits and the like are TMI.

BlueBelle Sun 06-Aug-23 10:08:09

Why not ? Got to have some lighthearted threads can’t all be about deep and meaningful stuff
It’s just chat no one knows the person answering and you can avoid if it’s too lightweight for you

Foxygloves Sun 06-Aug-23 10:07:47

Maybe Gransnet is not for you foxygloves

Oh are you the thread police or is there an entry requirement?
Thanks a bunch for your warm welcome.
For what it is worth, I do have a sister but she has advanced Alzheimer’s and no longer has any speech.

Georgesgran Sun 06-Aug-23 10:05:40

My feelings are with Fleur. It’s anonymous and harmless and doesn’t lead to the nastiness as some threads do. Funnily enough I actually do know who my friends bank with, their hair washing routines and what they keep under the sink! Perhaps we need to get out more!

hollysteers Sun 06-Aug-23 10:01:34

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Fleurpepper Sun 06-Aug-23 09:30:14

Perhaps because it is anonymous, and people can ask 'intrusive' questions to see how they fit in the spectrum (as for hair washing frequency) - what harm does it do. And as you say, so easily avoided if you don't want to take part.

Other 'questions' may not be direct questions at all, but mean 'I wonder what the proportion of Gnetters bank with Coutts' - and is not q personal or intrusive questions at all, very clearly.

Aveline Sun 06-Aug-23 09:22:36

Good points foxygloves. I don't know the answer. Maybe people genuinely want to know these things but can only ask on a relatively anonymous internet forum?

Foxygloves Sun 06-Aug-23 09:19:14

Not a TAAT but about threads (some) in general.
OK tell me I can swerve them (and I do) but why this compulsion to ask intrusive questions or share personal information with total strangers? We have had threads on “shredding toilet paper”, “do you remember your first time”, how many people here bank with Coutts, “spending and saving habits, “how often do you shower/bathe”, “do you sit or crouch on public toilet seats” (yes, really) and “how often do you wash your hair” ?
On the basis that GN chatting is a bit like coffee with friends, would these topics really feature in your conversation?
Tell me to ignore them by all means. I fail to see why my, or anybody’s personal habits should be of any interest to anybody