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Dogs or Children?

(123 Posts)
hollysteers Thu 10-Aug-23 12:50:53

There are a couple of female childless journalists on social media who speak witheringly of ‘breeders’ like myself who have children and speak glowingly of their choice to be child free and in fact, almost its superiority.

They both now have dogs and are utterly smitten. Photos abound of their ‘cute’ dogs and photographs (boring) appear almost daily. They are now ‘in love’ with their dogs and their lives are changed,
Am I alone in thinking that this could be the wrong way round?
Not having experienced having children, how do they know for certain (which they stress) they would not have enjoyed and found satisfaction from the experience?
Nothing against dogs BTW.

Iam64 Sun 13-Aug-23 19:42:04

Excellent point GSM about being able to leave dogs for short periods. By 12 months, I could leave my lab with the run of the large kitchen and utility area quite safely. Labs are renowned chewers but my boy settled for a couple of hours no problem, even as a boisterous adolescent I could do 4 hours in extremes. wouldn’t choose that byt my husband’s hospital appointments could over run. Both dogs exercised before and after of course

keepcalmandcavachon Mon 14-Aug-23 13:49:37

Oh, if only children never answered back, ate every lovingly prepared meal and gazed at you adoringly all the time. Happy to spend all day doing anything or nothing as long as its with you!

M0nica Mon 14-Aug-23 14:49:19

I would hate children like that keepcalmandcavachon. It is the lively, challenging, and naughty ones that I liked and had. As for 'lovingly' prepared meals. I love food so I prepared food we would all enjoy and I tucked in with gusto.

Children grow up, become independent and, as a parent you regain your freedom.

We have just come back from France, we just decided when we wanted to go, booked the ticket and away. On the ferry were families with children, a passing phase, they would grow up -and dog owners, who had had to get their mutts vaccinated inspected by vets, book special cabins, or kennels or leave animals in the car or in kennels or find other people to look after thes.

Not only that, when one set of dogs passes, they replace them and start all over again - and that is why I say children every time. They are once and then away, not to be replaced.

Germanshepherdsmum Mon 14-Aug-23 15:17:12

I would rather have my dog 365 days a year than the freedom you describe, MOnica.

And I never considered being the mother of my son until he moved out ‘a passing phase’.

Norah Mon 14-Aug-23 15:27:53

Germanshepherdsmum

I would rather have my dog 365 days a year than the freedom you describe, MOnica.

And I never considered being the mother of my son until he moved out ‘a passing phase’.

Germanshepherdsmum I never considered being the mother of my son until he moved out ‘a passing phase’.

Heavens no, we've ours forever, I pray!

Germanshepherdsmum Mon 14-Aug-23 15:31:59

I didn’t show my distress when we dropped him off at university but all the way home I cried as I have never cried before or since. I didn’t want my so-called freedom.

LisaAN Mon 14-Aug-23 15:39:54

Cats …

Iam64 Mon 14-Aug-23 15:55:13

MOnica, you don’t understand or want to understand the bonds, the love between a dog and it’s human.
Dogs aren’t ‘replaced’ when the previous dog dies. It’s impossible to replace a dog in the same way it’s impossible to replace a child
My dogs have distinct personalities . Breed characteristics are present, my current blue roan cocker spaniel is kind, gentle, loves children and people, is totally unworried by being crowded by badly behaved dogs. She is born to run and flush birds but more to retrieve from water. My lab and lab crosses have been big, powerful dogs that will retrieve without training especially from water

So breed characteristics are there but so is underlying personslity

Blondiescot Mon 14-Aug-23 15:58:39

Well said, Iam64! Totally agree with you there.

M0nica Mon 14-Aug-23 16:50:48

I am well aware of the bonds that build up between dogs and owners, which is why I do not own any, I do not want the tie that bond brings. I also do not want to need to care for another sentient being other than family, as required

Almost every dog owner I know when dog dies acquires a new one. Obviously not like a cloned replacement, but another animal of a distinct breed with a distinct personality, but still essentially another animal that needs to be cared for.

I am not criticising or demeaning anyone's choice. I am merely saying that it is not for me and why.

Iam64 Mon 14-Aug-23 16:52:48

By the way, I need to add MOnica doesn’t have to want to or understand we dog enthusiast
I’ve never understood snakes or rats as house pets and I’m entirely happy with that

Germanshepherdsmum Mon 14-Aug-23 16:54:52

Yes, well said Iam. I have never ‘replaced’ a dog. That’s just not possible. Getting another one, yes - which even though of the same breed will have its own individual personality and traits.

Norah Mon 14-Aug-23 17:00:09

Iam64

By the way, I need to add MOnica doesn’t have to want to or understand we dog enthusiast
I’ve never understood snakes or rats as house pets and I’m entirely happy with that

Well said.

I don't care for house cats, no problems with barn cats.

Each to their own!

M0nica Mon 14-Aug-23 22:14:42

the thread is called 'dogs or children'. I responded to the question and said 'children, because they grow up and become independent' whereas most dog owners are lifelong dog owners.
My views go no further than that.

Germanshepherdsmum Mon 14-Aug-23 22:21:33

That sounds as though you are glad to get the children off your hands. I am a lifelong mother and will also be a dog owner for as long as my health permits.

biglouis Tue 15-Aug-23 00:35:51

Not having experienced having children, how do they know for certain (which they stress) they would not have enjoyed and found satisfaction from the experience

Well we are never going to agree on this GSM but I decided at age 11 I never wanted to have children and have never found cause to regret that decision. You only have to scan a few threads on Mumsnet to hear about the horrors of pregnancy. Then the reward for dragging some little patasite around in your body for 9 months is to be an exhausted sleepless woman lumbered with all the housework, home admin and childcare often on top of a full time job.

From the outside family life looks like a pretty shit existence to me.

You dont need to go live in a tent to know your not cut out to join the circus.

biglouis Tue 15-Aug-23 00:36:28

I dont have any pets either.

Iam64 Tue 15-Aug-23 08:06:25

some little parasite
This has been a fairly light hearted discussion, unlike many involving dogs. I’ve been pregnant three times - it never felt like that.

M0nica Tue 15-Aug-23 09:16:22

Gsm I was glad to see my children grow up and be independent, that is entirely different to one's abiding love and concern for one's children. That is always there

DS and family spent last night with us on their way home from holiday. They came off the ferry late and were gone early as DDiL is due back at work today. When they arrived, I did not need to take him up to bed, undress and put his pyjamas on , make sure he cleaned his teeth etc etc. We did enjoy a sit down relax, chat and a glass of wine. All the good things about being a mother, with none of the chores.

Judy54 Tue 15-Aug-23 12:45:24

Bad choice of words biglouis I am not a Mother but feel for those on here who are having their children referred to as parasites.

sodapop Tue 15-Aug-23 13:11:37

Yes I thought your comments were a bit harsh as well biglouis you don't have to justify your decision not to have children on here.

icanhandthemback Tue 15-Aug-23 13:46:55

Parasites and Mutts seemed derogatory to me but hey ho, we can all be insensitive at times.