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Dogs or Children?

(122 Posts)
hollysteers Thu 10-Aug-23 12:50:53

There are a couple of female childless journalists on social media who speak witheringly of ‘breeders’ like myself who have children and speak glowingly of their choice to be child free and in fact, almost its superiority.

They both now have dogs and are utterly smitten. Photos abound of their ‘cute’ dogs and photographs (boring) appear almost daily. They are now ‘in love’ with their dogs and their lives are changed,
Am I alone in thinking that this could be the wrong way round?
Not having experienced having children, how do they know for certain (which they stress) they would not have enjoyed and found satisfaction from the experience?
Nothing against dogs BTW.

Theexwife Thu 10-Aug-23 13:00:47

You ask ‘how would they know for certain…..

In the same way that you do not know for certain if you would have found enjoyment and satisfaction in having just dogs and no children.

Judy54 Thu 10-Aug-23 13:17:05

Dogs.

Sago Thu 10-Aug-23 13:25:17

I think Liz Jones is the perfect example of this.

We all need someone or something to love and if I had been childless I imagine dogs and horses would have played a big part in my life.

The big mistake however is treating dogs as though they were children.

Germanshepherdsmum Thu 10-Aug-23 13:38:58

Much as I love my child, on the whole I prefer dogs to people (close family excepted).

Casdon Thu 10-Aug-23 13:48:43

I think the vast majority of people who have dogs are smitten with them to be fair, whether they have children or not. It is a separate love from that you feel for your children, but they are definitely family - mine is, anyway.

AGAA4 Thu 10-Aug-23 13:57:17

My DD was in France last week and saw dogs being pushed around in buggies like babies. Dogs should never be substitute children. They are adorable but they need to be respected too.

TerriBull Thu 10-Aug-23 13:59:51

Well we've had our son's and girlfriend's dog with us today and I have to say whilst they're at their respective places of work, he is not the happy soul he usually is around them, in spite of us walking, talking and doing all the necessary, sadly we are definitely the B team sad I can see the appeal of having such absolute devotion and no mouthy answering back in their teen years. Although mindful of reading Ben Fogle's comment "a dog only breaks your heart once" longevity isn't always on their side. I would never under estimate how much owners love their dog, an emotion that is clearly returned in spades at their best they are wonderful. Even though I'm more of a cat person myself, an animal so perfect, the ancient Egyptians were right to worship them as Gods!

Georgesgran Thu 10-Aug-23 14:10:23

50/50 for me. Always a dog lover (most breeds) but some children make me despair. Like animals, as we are, is it Nature or Nurture?
Byron’s Epitaph to his Dog, written when he was only 20 is worth a read.

crazyH Thu 10-Aug-23 14:15:14

Children - I’m allergic to animal fur

Blondiescot Thu 10-Aug-23 14:19:44

Germanshepherdsmum

Much as I love my child, on the whole I prefer dogs to people (close family excepted).

You and me both! But I agree on the not treating dogs like children. Dogs have always been much-loved members of our family, but they are not substitute children and should never be treated as such.
I think, especially now in 2023, the message surely is that you can lead a very happy and fulfilled life with or without children, if that is your choice. (I'm not talking about those who can't have children but wish they could).
My daughter is adamant she doesn't want children of her own. She loves our GS (her nephew) to pieces, but neither her nor her fiance have any desire to have a family. I don't think either of them feels that makes them 'morally superior' to their friends who do have children though. As long as people are happy in their own choices, what does it matter to anyone else?

larry5 Thu 10-Aug-23 14:29:06

I am one of five children but know that my mother’s dogs were more important to her as she got older! My mother had made up three photograph albums of her dogs but pictures of her children and grandchildren were just in a big cardboard box.

I am sure she loved us all.

Kate1949 Thu 10-Aug-23 14:43:50

Children.

Redhead56 Thu 10-Aug-23 15:06:37

Children my two came as precious gifts to me as I had to wait a while for my first. So children first as your body clock dictates when or if you can have them. Dogs I have always had dogs and adore them too but you can have one anytime providing you can physically care for it.

Jaxjacky Thu 10-Aug-23 15:19:25

Children.

Iam64 Thu 10-Aug-23 16:07:54

Liz Jones is tedious

I was blessed with children anc I’ve always lived with dogs, win win

Dogs are animals not fur babies

Curlywhirly Thu 10-Aug-23 16:49:20

Was married for 9 years before we had children (my choice - was petrified of giving birth, but finally plucked up the courage!). Had our first dog before the children came along and loved him to bits. We now have another dog, and love her to bits - but can't really compare the love I have for our dogs to the love for our children and grandchildren. Until I had children, I couldn't imagine loving anything more than I loved our dog, but of course I did and I am so thankful that I finally decided to give parenthood a go; it was the making of me.

sodapop Thu 10-Aug-23 17:20:59

Given that choice now I would go for dogs. It was just expected of women of my era to have children. One of my daughters has been adamant about not wanting children since she was a teenager. Now aged 44 she has two cats and a stepson ( and partner ) she is quite happy with this arrangement.

Oldbat1 Thu 10-Aug-23 17:37:51

Definitely dogs. Wasnt my idea to have children but i loved them when they did arrive. My phone has hundreds of dog photos but very few of the family.

foxie48 Thu 10-Aug-23 18:05:37

I had a couple of children and then owned horses and dogs in later life. TBH I've had joy and heart break with both and feel my life has been enriched by both. One child has done their best to break my heart and nearly succeeded and horses have broken a few of my bones. If I'm sad I love to put my arms around a horse and just breathe in the smell, I'm always amazed how a horse will breathe back to me as if they feel my sadness. If I'm stressed I'll sit down with the dog on my lap and just stroke the warm body, I can feel my BP reduce and I feel less stressed. However, my daughter gives me huge pleasure too, we laugh together and enjoy each other's company. I've had the best of all worlds, I think and the sad and unhappy times are more than balanced out by the happy ones so for me, both equally.

Fleurpepper Thu 10-Aug-23 18:15:50

Both, thanks.

We adopted one DDs dachs when her life circumstances changed. He was about 12, and 2 years later he became diabetic and slowly, turned blind. But he was very happy and contented. And I did something that surprised even myself, never mind my OH, who was horrified. Bought him a buggy. He loved it- coming with us for walks, ears flapping in the wind. He went to Tuscany with us, and on a family ski holiday. He had a good 2 years (on daily insulin), thanks to the buggy- and even OH agreed it was the best thing to have done for him.

All our dogs have been strong and full members of the family, but always remained dogs.

Blondiescot Thu 10-Aug-23 18:24:29

Oh foxie48, a kindred spirit! I love to put my arms round a horse and just breathe in that smell too!

BlueBelle Thu 10-Aug-23 18:29:28

Children .. I don’t see any way of comparing dogs with the love we have for our children Dogs are animals to be loved as an animal, but comparisons to a human aren't really possible

If you had a fire and could only save your child or your dog you all saying you d save the dog !!!

Joane123 Thu 10-Aug-23 18:30:57

Dogs every time.

Kate1949 Thu 10-Aug-23 18:35:48

I agree BlueBelle. Two different sorts of love. Well I hope so!